A few people in the audience chuckle, putting a smile on Dr. Lorringer’s face too. “See? This can be fun. Now, I want you to turn toward your partner again and open up. Let them see the real you. Then, when the timer goes off, I want you to kiss. Again, only if you feel comfortable,” she adds with caution. “I want you to see if you can taste the difference. If you can feel it. Begin.”
Clearing his throat, Gage turns and gives me his full attention. At first, there’s a teasing grin on his face, and I can practically hear his deep voice telling me how ridiculous this whole thing is. I don’t blame him. This isn’t what I signed up for, either. Besides, we’re not in a real relationship. The only thing either of us wants is the brownie batter to satisfy our sweet tooth. And who wants to toy with salmonella, anyway? We won’t be baking this relationship in a pan. We’ll be devouring it while naked.
My mouth quirks up in the corner as I imagine licking brownie batter off Gage’s cheek, and he cocks his head in response before raising his brow along with a wicked grin. Rubbing his thumb along the back of my hand, he inches a little closer but doesn’t break eye contact. The heat from his chest has me breathing deeper in hopes of closing the rest of the distance between us. When his tongue darts out from between his lips before running along the seam, my pulse quickens.
Yeah, we’re definitely on the same page when it comes to brownie batter. We’re on the same page when it comes to a lot of things. Like the dolphin encounter, and the massage, and how we both try to deflect any kind of intimacy that could lead to something more. How we’re both scared. Me, of getting hurt. Him, of hurting someone again.
I gulp, losing my earlier lust.
I can see why his ex was a goner. I can see why she wanted to lock him down and throw away the key. From the outside, Gage looks like he has it all. He’s smart. He’s sexy. He has a good job. He’s funny. He enjoys football like I do. He doesn’t take life too seriously. He’s…he’s the whole package.
He admitted he loved her. That she would’ve been a great wife. That the problem was him. Not her. So, why is there a tiny voice inside my head that wonders if I could be enough? If I could change his mind. If I could be his happily ever after.
My jaw clenches. This is Dr. Lorringer’s fault. She’d been using the example of having someone dependable that loves you unconditionally to reel Gage in, but it did a number on me instead.
Releasing a shaky breath, I try not to have a complete breakdown in front of him when I know he can see my eyes welling with tears.
Don’t you dare cry right now, Nora.
I bite the inside of my cheek to distract myself from the emotions that are hitting me from all sides, but it isn’t enough. I’m having a freaking panic attack, and I can’t run away without ruining this entire workshop for everyone in the room.
I want someone to take care of me when I’m sick. I want someone to call when I’ve had a bad day. I want someone to hold me and to make me feel better when the pressures of life weigh too much. I want to be able to rely on someone.
Could Gage be that someone? Even if it were in another life?
I want the damn brownies with the shell-free eggs mixed in. I want something beautiful. And real. Something that probably doesn’t exist with a guy like Gage no matter how badly I want it to.
Concern radiates from him as he watches my expression turn hazy with vulnerability. His mouth opens as if he wants to say something before it snaps closed. Gritting his teeth, he bends a little closer and rests his forehead against mine.
There’s a myriad of emotions flashing across his face like a projector, but I can’t quite place them. Frustration. Anxiety. Humility. But above all, determination. I just don’t know what it’s for.
Is he frustrated with me? Am I the one making him anxious? Did Dr. Lorringer’s little therapy session knock his arrogance down a few pegs, even though I think he’s sexy as hell when he’s sure of himself? And why is he so determined? Does he want to back out of our deal? Can he tell that I’m getting attached? That I could see us becoming brownies instead of just watered-down batter? That I might want that even though it wasn’t part of the plan?
“Shhh,” he breathes. The sound is so quiet that it likely only traveled a handful of inches before getting lost in the spacious room. But it’s enough to ease the ache in my chest. I want to close my eyes. I want to run. But I want to stay even more. And that’s what scares me the most.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Dr. Lorringer murmurs. Her relatively quiet voice sounds amplified in the silence. “If you feel comfortable, I’d like you to kiss your partner. For most of you, those stubborn shells have cracked in the last few minutes. Now it’s time to mix those insecurities together and to come out on the other side with something sweeter and richer than when you walked into this room.”
The lights are still turned down low, and the audience is still lost in their own little worlds. With his forehead still pressed to mine, Gage untangles our hands before gliding them up my arms. His touch is softer than a feather. If I hadn’t been so aware of his movements, I
