The man who would never forgive her for her double deception of being married and hiding the existence of his child from him. If he had ever loved her, she had surely killed that love stone dead years ago, and that was her punishment to bear.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine,’ she lied, forcing a smile. ‘I loved my father. And he loved me, but he left me in a desperate situation when he died. Without Rupert I really don’t know what would have happened to me. But that’s the way with addicts and Dad was a reckless gambler who walked the line between being legal and being a con man, although mostly he stayed on the right side of the law. He never really grew up, my mother deserted her own child, but nevertheless I am not like either of them. Who you are isn’t all about DNA and you can’t allow an accident of birth to define who you are.’
Roman closed his eyes, wishing he had her certainty and hoping that she never had that belief crushed, because he knew what that felt like. ‘You really believe that, don’t you?’
She nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said simply. ‘I do.’ She eased her back away from the sofa. ‘Do you mind if I go to bed now? I’m pretty tired.’
He vaulted to his feet without a word. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope Jamie has an undisturbed night.’ He turned away but then swung back almost immediately. ‘I’d say whistle if you need anything but in this place I wouldn’t hear you.’ He picked up her mobile phone from where it lay on the coffee table and, flicking through it, he punched in a rapid series of numbers. ‘So call me if there are any problems.’
‘How did you know my phone pin?’
‘Jamie’s date of birth? You really should double protect.’
Outside the door he leaned against the wall and wished that protection against the hunger Marisa aroused in him were so readily available.
CHAPTER TEN
MARISA WAS IN her bedroom hanging her belongings in the cavernous walk-in wardrobe when she heard the knock. Tightening the belt on her robe, she hurried past Jamie, who was still in his pyjamas, bent over colouring books and crayons he had spread across the coffee table.
She took a deep breath and opened the door. Despite the mood-lowering sense of anticlimax when she saw a young woman in a neat uniform standing there, she kept her smile painted in place.
‘Buenos dias, señora.’
‘Buenos dias.’
‘I am just asking if you would like to take your breakfast here or in the breakfast room with Señor Roman.’
‘I’m hungry, Mum!’
‘All right, big ears,’ she tossed back. ‘In here, if that is no problem.’
‘And what would señora like?’
‘Coffee, juice and toast, please. Oh, and some fruit would be lovely too.’
‘Scrambled egg,’ came Jamie’s voice.
Marisa smiled at the girl. ‘And scrambled egg.’
‘Sí, señora.’ She bobbed a little curtsy and walked away swiftly.
‘Have you cleaned your teeth yet?’
‘Yes,’ he said with his hand over his mouth.
Marisa’s lips twitched. ‘Go clean them again, please. I can see you found the clothes I left on your bed but you did actually wash your face, didn’t you?’
Jamie looked hurt. ‘Of course I did.’
Squatting down to readjust the top that Jamie had put on back to front, she let it pass, putting a hand on the floor to stop herself losing her balance when there was a knock on the door. She had already opened the doors to the balcony where the table and chairs afforded a gorgeous view of the acres of green manicured lawn and the mountains beyond.
‘Come in!’ she yelled, then as the door opened she asked without turning around, ‘Could you put it on the balcony, please? It’s such a glorious morning.’
‘Sí, señora.’
She almost lost her balance before finding her centre of gravity and rising rapidly to her feet. ‘Roman!’ Tall, effortlessly elegant and showing no after-effects from yesterday’s emotional dramas, he made her heart pick up tempo. ‘I thought you were the—’
‘Maria.’ His grin flashed, making her remember how easily he could charm her when he wanted to. ‘An easy mistake to make. Many have commented on the likeness.’
Roman’s lips twitched as she tightened the knot on her robe, but she couldn’t add a few more inches to the length and it showed an amazing amount of her smooth shapely legs, which he thoroughly enjoyed looking at. He was able to observe her tousled, just-got-out-of-bed appearance without feeling tortured, because there was nothing to be tortured about. She was utterly gorgeous and he wanted her.
There were two options: he either did something about it or he didn’t. Neither choice was going to have life-changing consequences. If he opted for the sex, he had no doubt it would be absolutely fantastic.
His sleepless night had not been a total waste. After ruminating for hours, he now knew he was seeing problems where there were just choices, and nothing, as he reminded himself again, was life-changing.
Jamie was life-changing, and now that he’d had the time to consider it objectively Roman realised that his son was not just life-changing, but life-enhancing.
Jamie’s mother, on the other hand, well, that ship had sailed years ago. Roman had been a fool to propose to her, and, although at first she had taken a part of him with her that had left him feeling as though he had lost a limb, he had rebuilt his protective walls until they now formed an impenetrable barrier.
Even if he hadn’t, it would take a very stupid man to allow a woman to do that to him twice, especially one who had already displayed a disturbing ability to wander around inside his head.
Marisa fought off a smile at his teasing and bit her quivering lip. ‘Sure, you and Maria could be twins.’ She sucked in a dismayed breath but the words were out before she could pull them back.
‘I already have a twin. I believe you know him.’
And they were right back onto the subject that could never be
