I skim him, up and down, smiling. “So it’s good?”
“It’s complicated,” he rephrases. “You and I are complicated. You’re still figuring things out, and that’s fair. But I don’t want you to get hurt. And I don’t want to get hurt.”
“I won’t hurt you,” I say, adamant. Even thinking I could starts churning my stomach. “I genuinely like you, and I just want to see where this goes.”
Oscar stands off the table. “I’ll help you.” My smile brightens, and he explains, “I’ve been where you are. It’s confusing, and I didn’t really have anyone to talk to until college. I wish those people were there sooner.”
I nod and walk closer. At first, I plan to touch him, but as soon as we’re in distance, I bail and pick up the thick, worn hardback next to his phone. War and Peace.
Tension stretches at our closeness. I examine the spine of the book, and his voice sounds huskier as he tells me, “You can ask me questions, and if you want, I can ask you questions too.”
I slip a smile over to him. “You can ask me anything.”
His grin edges. “Don’t tempt me, Long Beach. I have a laundry list when it comes to you.”
So close, the warmth of his skin radiates off the swelter of mine. I’m radiating heat because of him, and the more strides we’re making, the faster I want to run towards Oscar. Even if a lot is new to me, he’s experienced. He’ll show me, and Jesus, I want him to. The thought alone sends shockwaves.
“I’d want to go through your laundry list,” I tell Oscar. “Consider yourself tempted.”
Our grins are matched.
“Alright,” he says. “Before we go there, we should agree to something.”
I rest part of my ass on the table and hold my camera. “What is it?”
“We shouldn’t fuck each other.” He drops the gavel. “No sex.”
Sex.
I’m over here willing to explore new territories that I’ve never seen. I’m wanting to, and I crack a dying, disappointed smile.
I wanted to fuck Oscar—or for Oscar to fuck me? FYI: I know physically where a dick goes, but would he be on top…or would I? The exploration with him is just as enticing as the actual act, and he’s saying, no.
“Why?” I ask him, my eyes flashing to another hardback on the table. Brave New World. I wonder if he pulled out these books before I arrived.
“Because sex is complicated, and this is already on another level of complicated. We don’t need to be fucking.” His resoluteness is sexy, even when this decision feels a lot like the Grinch coming down and stealing a bunch of toys.
It also feels like he’s Velcroing elbow-pads and kneepads in case of a fall. “You know,” I say gently, “that I wouldn’t just fuck you and chuck you.”
His face hardens, and his throat bobs as he says, “I don’t know that yet. And I can get sex anywhere, Highland. That’s not what I’m looking for. So if you need to date around to figure shit out, then I’ll help you out with a Grindr profile or go with you to a gay bar. Maybe if I’m still single in a few years, you can come hit me up then.”
That stings.
It shouldn’t, because he’s being incredibly nice right now. Generally, when I’m into someone, I’ve never eliminated sex. Not since I was a teenager and a virgin.
But why would I play the field when I’ve already found the guy who’s captured my entire interest?
I only want him.
Oscar isn’t the hypothesis in an experiment where if I dislike the result after I test it out, I’ll trash the whole thing. But I can understand him thinking I might. He doesn’t want to be used, and I don’t want to use him like he’s just a hard dick.
“We don’t have to have sex,” I agree to the stipulation, and in a pause, I add, “I hope after a while you’ll realize you can trust me.”
Oscar brushes his hand over his unshaven jaw, his gaze drawing hot tracks down my body. “I might be open to other things.”
Other things. “Are you talking hand jobs? Blow jobs?”
He’s about to answer when his phone lets out an angry buzz beside me. I stand off the table, and my eyes peel to Oscar as he grabs the cell and clicks into a text.
“Charlie?” I ask.
He nods. “He’s leaving for New York, and I need to pick him up before he takes off in an Uber.”
“He told you where he’s going?” I say, surprised.
“He does that sometimes.” Oscar gathers a couple books. Those were his hardbacks. “Charlie likes to be inconsistent.” His eyes fall to my camera still strapped around my body. “You coming?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “It is my job to come.”
His nose flares, latching onto the innuendo, and then he laughs while fitting a comms earpiece in his ear. “This is gonna be fun. Just try not to come too hard on me, Long Beach. I’ve still got a Cobalt to protect.”
“What a coincidence, I’ve got a Cobalt to film.” I lift up my camera.
He opens his mouth, but his phone buzzes again. “Fuck,” he curses at the text, seriousness overtaking him. “We’ve got to go.”
I animate fast and follow him out of the penthouse and to the elevator. The unanswered question about “other things” hangs in the air.
Bad timing—I have a feeling Oscar and I might be magnetically attached to it.
15
OSCAR OLIVEIRA
We wait in the foyer for the elevator, and I could laugh at myself.
First off, Grindr. I offered to make Jack a dating profile, and immediately, I thought about how I’d need to upload the absolute ugliest ass photos of Jack Highland so no one would tap on him. But let’s be honest, an unattractive pic of this guy doesn’t exist.
And
