She didn’t even mind that his mother too had used her nickname.
“BECCA.” IN THE big tent that had housed the competitions for baked goods, vegetables and fruits grown by local people, she thought she heard Calvin’s voice and wondered if she was hallucinating. Not willing to believe her ears, she moved baskets of zucchini and yellow squash around on the table she’d been assigned to monitor as a volunteer helper. Many of the entries were gone by now, either purchased or the leftovers packed to go home. Becca didn’t turn around. She couldn’t seem to move.
“I know you’re mad at me.” Calvin stepped closer behind her. “But hear me out.”
She managed to circle the table to its front where two containers of raspberries and blackberries still stood. When she would have walked away, Calvin stayed her with a hand on her shoulder. The warmth of his touch threatened to melt her inside. He was here. She’d never expected to see him again.
“I understand how you must feel,” he began.
“No, you don’t. I have nothing to say to you.”
She hadn’t seen him earlier, and she hadn’t left the tent all day, not even to watch one of the rodeo events. Why had he shown up now?
Her shoulders rigid, she cast a look around, hoping Elizabeth was nearby. Becca could use an ally, the mentor she’d come to rely on. Otherwise, she’d look at Calvin and be lost again, hoping they could be together when she’d already made her choice. Hers, alone.
He said, “Give me a minute, will you? We never talked much about ourselves—I didn’t anyway—but I need you to listen now. Maybe then you’ll understand why I did what I did.” His tone lowered. “When I was a kid, my life got pretty messed up. My dad took off, my mom went into a tailspin, and I never knew what I was walking into when I got home. As soon as I turned eighteen, I joined the army, the only real structure I ever had until I came to work for Hadley. You see what I’m getting at here? When you told me about the baby, Becca, I thought, what if I was like my father with my mom and me? What if I couldn’t be what you need me to be? I was wrong to leave,” he said. “Nowhere I went in this whole state seemed like the right place. You know where that really is?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “With you,” he said, almost too softly for her to hear. To believe.
Gently, he turned her to face him, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. How could she tell him she’d given away their baby? This was awful, worse than her worst day in Olivia’s shop trying to do her job.
“I want us to do the right thing,” he rushed on. “Once the baby comes—”
“So, you’re ready to be a father.” Becca shifted a basket of melons, then to her dismay saw her own father walking toward them. What if he said something about the adoption? “You’d better go,” she said. “My dad’s coming, and his eyes are like flamethrowers.”
Calvin didn’t budge. “I’m not afraid of him.”
A second later, her father was standing toe to toe with Calvin, nudging Becca aside. “Leave her alone. I won’t let you hurt my little girl again.”
“She’s not your little girl,” Calvin said calmly. “Becca’s a woman. She can make her own choice, and I’m hoping she’ll choose me.”
Her mouth fell open. As he’d said, Calvin had never been the sort to talk about his feelings. She’d told him she loved him, but he’d never said as much to her. “Please, Dad. Calvin and I need to talk.”
Her father stared at the ground, his hands fisted at his sides. “This guy is nothing but a hired hand. Here today, probably gone tomorrow.” He’d voiced Becca’s own misgivings. Calvin was here now, but he might leave her again once he knew what she’d done. “That’s no future for you, living hand to mouth, having his babies every year.”
Calvin’s mouth tightened. “This baby’s mine, and I’ll care for it. With Becca.” He glanced at her dad’s fists. “Hit me if it’ll make you feel better.”
Her dad didn’t move. He focused on Becca. “You’ve spent the past few weeks pining over this guy. Did you hear one word from him that might set your mind at ease in all that time? No,” he said, “it was me who had to see your tears, take you to Doc’s, and what about the adop—”
Becca squared her shoulders. “Daddy, don’t worry about me.”
Her father’s fists fell open. For a long moment he eyed Calvin, and she feared her dad might still land a punch. Instead, as if beaten, he put space between himself and Calvin.
She kissed her dad’s cheek. “We’ll be okay.”
She wasn’t sure and that didn’t help her dad, who, like Becca, still mourned the loss of her mother, but he needed to find his own way again too. No matter how much she loved and wanted to please him, Becca couldn’t do that for him. Just as he couldn’t protect her from whatever life handed out. It was Calvin who could help her to heal.
After her father walked away, she rearranged some jars of golden honey until his hand covered hers. “I wish you’d gotten time beforehand to say your piece, Becca. I don’t know where I stand with you—”
She didn’t hesitate. “I love you, Calvin.” She hoped that was enough.
He smiled into her eyes. “I love you too. I couldn’t admit that—until Dallas made me see I’d decided wrong. I’ll tell you about that later. I didn’t come back until last night and earlier I couldn’t find you. Clara finally said you were over here, and by then it was my turn to ride bulls. I came as soon as I could.” Applause still sounded from the arena.
“I would have rooted for you, only I’ve been in this tent.” Calvin
