“I mean, you could,” she said. “But it’ll make you puke.”
“Does it taste like dirt or something?”
“No,” she admitted. “It still tastes the same.”
“Totally worth puking,” I said.
Svana laughed, and I even managed a little chuckle. I’d already cleaned up and gotten dressed nice for Alarick’s visit, so after washing up, we headed out. As I stepped out of the tower, my eyes automatically moved toward the woods, but I pulled them away. I was no longer welcome there. I wasn’t a wolf.
That had been my caterpillar form. I’d spend the summer in my incubator, the cocoon of safety. Now, I was emerging as something completely new, superior to my old self. I didn’t belong in Ravenwood Forest. Alarick had known that before I did, and he’d set me free of the last ties I had to those woods. Now, it was time to step away from that old life. Time to accept my new life and embrace my final form, the butterfly stage of my existence.
Chapter Six
“How was your shopping trip?” Viktor asked after knocking on our dorm room.
“Fine,” I said. “Svana’s in the closet changing.”
“Okay.”
A long, awkward moment passed. I glanced at the closet door, waiting for his sister to come out and ease the tension in the room. We’d returned earlier that afternoon just in time for the start of classes at Ravenwood Academy the next day. I assumed he was there to see her, not me.
“What’d you get?” Viktor asked, gripping the top of the door frame, so his long, lean figure was silhouetted in the doorway. Damn, he was beautiful.
“You really want to know about my clothes and room decorations?”
Viktor gave a small smile. “Straight men can be interested in that sort of thing, too.”
“I know,” I said, laughing. “I just didn’t think you would be.”
“If you wanted to try on the clothes, I’ll give you a man’s opinion.”
I paused, thinking how odd it sounded for Viktor to call himself a man instead of a guy. But then, I had no idea how old he really was. He could be, like, a pervy eighty-year-old under that flawless exterior. Though I was almost seventeen, it was still weird. I pushed the thought away, glad telepathy was not part of our maker-spawn bond.
“Well, I got this,” I said, smoothing my hand over the purple-and-pale blue comforter we’d settled on. Svana had insisted that she wanted to redecorate the entire room—in fact, she said it was the best part of starting a new year with a new roommate. So, our entire room matched now, courtesy of her bottomless pockets. I’d felt guilty letting her buy everything, but she’d been adamant that I get everything new instead of using the same bedroom set I’d used during my first two years at Ravenwood. In truth, I didn’t have the money to splurge on an entire room makeover, anyway.
“It’s nice,” Viktor said, stepping into the room. His gaze lingered on mine, and my heart fluttered in my chest. I was sure he was going to say something more, but before he could, Svana emerged from the closet. Relief washed over me. Whatever he’d been about to say, I was sure I didn’t want to know.
“I’m going to visit Amy,” Svana said. “Want to come?”
“Yes,” I said, jumping up from the bed. Not meeting Viktor’s eyes, I darted past him and out into the hall.
Avoidance for the win.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but Viktor seemed to be bringing out a side of me I didn’t recognize. I might have been a weirdo, but I’d never been the nervous, awkward type before. I wasn’t the girl who shied away from uncomfortable situations. If anything, I erred on the side of attacking my discomfort with blunt-force trauma. I didn’t do avoidance. Dogged pursuit of my obsessions was more my style.
But here I was, slipping away with Svana, not wanting to face whatever Viktor had to offer. I just… Couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to move on from Alarick, but I didn’t know if I had the heart to keep turning Viktor down. If he kept after me, I’d eventually cave. No, I didn’t have the same heart-pounding, skin tingling, butterflies-flying sensation when he touched me that I got from Alarick. Still, he was sweet and sensitive and attentive, not to mention undeniably gorgeous. A girl could only be expected to be strong for so long.
That night, I had a vivid dream that didn’t involve drinking entire swimming pools of blood—yet another sign that I was moving on and recovering from the summer of bloodlust. I dreamed about Lindy, one of the first humans I’d ever dreamed about. In the dream, she was draped over Mr. Ravenwood’s arms, her body lifeless except for the giant mountain of her belly, which looked about ten months pregnant. I ran after Mr. Ravenwood, who was carrying her down a long tunnel, but I never caught up to them.
I sat up with a start, my heart hammering in my chest. In the bed across the room, Svana stirred and sighed. I lay back, trying to calm myself. I was just worried because tomorrow was the first day I had to check in with Mr. Ravenwood as well as the first day of classes. I’d barely thought of Lindy since I left home, but after lying awake wondering about her for about an hour, I knew that turning into a vampire hadn’t changed everything. I still had to get up and draw if I wanted to get the images out of my head.
In the morning, I headed to class with Amy and Svana. After two years at Ravenwood, I’d finally settled in. I walked to class with my friends like everyone else. I knew I should be happy. I had
