“My need to make sure I had a head start, that I had the means and the way to get as far as I could, could have ended with my baby dying. I could have lost my child because I wanted to wait a few days. I would have, if I’d really been pregnant like I thought I was. That’s my biggest shame. That… and the fact that despite everything, despite the fact that I was relieved when I learned I was never really pregnant, for the few hours I thought I was, I wanted that baby. What kind of monster does that make me? Even if he hadn’t beat me that day and I’d gotten out like I planned the next week, what kind of life would that have been? I knew he would never just let me go. And being here with you right now is proof of that.”
Reaching out, he lifted her chin, urging her to meet his eyes. She resisted for a moment, but once she gave in, she was glad she did. His eyes were still that inhuman, glowing green color, but the warmth—and was that a hint of tenderness she saw, too?—she found in them was like a balm to her soul, as crazy as that sounded.
It shouldn’t be possible, but it was, and he did it as simply as just touching her and meeting her gaze.
Who was this huge, scary, intimidating, sexy, gruffly kind man, and how was he able to make her feel these things so quickly? And not just calm and at ease, but the butterflies flitting through her belly, joining the heat that hadn’t stopped simmering from the moment she met him.
And most importantly, did she even want any of it to stop?
Bolt gazed at Ana, so many emotions and urges crashing through him that he didn’t know how to separate them. And he wasn’t sure which of those, if any, he should let her see.
His rage, the desire he and his leopard both shared, to find her dirtbag ex and tear him to shreds, he knew to keep hidden from her. At least for now. He knew it might not necessarily be something she’d object to, not after everything that fucker had done to her, but she was already wary of the shit he did for the club.
He wasn’t sure he was ready for her to add murderer to that list.
Damned if he wasn’t already contemplating how to do it, though. He’d start with a little high voltage fun, and end with letting his cat literally tear him apart.
But the rest of what he was thinking and feeling… that was where he was coming up lost on what to let her in on. Was it too soon for her to know that he desperately wanted her? That already, he was falling for her?
For a shifter, this was par for the course. He’d never experienced it for himself, but he’d grown up on the knowledge that when he found his mate, he’d fall fast and hard.
But she was a human, and their timelines were much, much longer. No doubt she was feeling some of what he was, but she was probably fighting it. For her, it was much to soon. For him, it couldn’t come soon enough.
Realizing he’d been quiet too long, he cleared his throat, searching for words. “Ana… you have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. Yes, shit could have gone wrong because you stayed. Like you said, the baby could have been real, or he could have killed you before you ever got a chance to leave. But I also know you would have died if you left before you were prepared and he found you too soon. Don’t forget I saw him with you. You would have been dead long before we met. Being as prepared as you were was the only thing that kept you alive this long.
“You had no good options where he’s concerned. I see that. Stay while you prepare and risk dying or other bad shit happening, or leave right away and risk dying shortly after? You had an impossible choice to make, and no one can tell you that you chose wrong. And you’re right. It wasn’t a good time to have a baby, but I’m not going to judge you for falling in love with it so quickly that it made you sad to learn it was never there. It’s enough for me to know that had you been given the choice of getting pregnant in that situation, you wouldn’t have done it. You said it yourself. You wanted that baby, but you were relieved to find you were never pregnant. That doesn’t make you a monster. That makes you human.”
Ana’s sky-blue eyes filled with tears, and she inhaled shakily, blinking them back as she thought over his words. He sat patiently, waiting for her to give him some clue as to whether they helped her or not, but when she spoke, her words only confused him.
“And what about you?”
“Um… Well, I’ve never really thought much about having kids, but now that you ask, yeah. I guess I’d like one or two. The difference is, I’d never hurt my child, or my child’s mother. Ever. Not physically or emotionally. I can be an asshole for sure, but I’d never try to hurt them.”
Her. He’d never hurt any woman, but he damned sure wouldn’t hurt Ana. His mate. And the only way he’d ever have kids was if they were with her.
She gave him a tiny smile. “No, not kids, although everything you said sets my mind at ease. I believe you when you say that. I don’t know how, because I just met you, but I already know you’re a man of
