“Tell me you fucking have something,” I growl. My vision is starting to grey; my leopard isn’t going to stay silent much longer.
“The truck drove out of camera range just this side of the Saginaw river bridge,” Eliot tells me.
“Were you able to get a shot of the plates?”
“Not yet,” Roark answers grimly.
The growl that rumbles through my chest has everyone on the verge of shifting. Roark gets in front of me, forcing me to meet his gaze. He is our leader and I’ve given him my loyalty, but this is about my mate and goes above any hierarchy bullshit.
“I know what this is doing to you,” he says, his strong, steady gaze locked onto me, “I know everything in you right now wants to go after her. I have to ask you to let us handle it.”
“Bullshit!” I explode, feeling my teeth once again growing. The beast wants out and I’m close to losing my ability to prevent him.
“Hack,” he warns, his tone low, “I can’t let you go charging out half-cocked. If she is in that truck, they’ve passed beyond our territory. I’ve got to go through the right channels or we are going to have a full out war on our hands.”
“She’s. My. Mate,” I stress to him, rage coursing through my veins.
“And that makes her one of us as well. We’ll handle this like she is ours, but until we find her, I’m ordering you to stay here.”
Everything in me stills. I have no choice; biology demands I obey him as leader.
“Don’t do this, man,” I say in almost a whisper, my throat closing against my emotions.
“We’ll go to war if it comes to it,” he assures me, “But until then, I have to proceed with caution. Do what’s best for the Club. You’re barely hanging on by a thread, and rightfully so. Trust me to handle this for you. I’ve got crews out looking for the truck. I’ve contacted the Howlerz to get permission to enter their lands. As soon as I have it, I’ll green light the crews to cross over.”
As much as I hate it, Roark’s right; we need permission to search their lands.
“I’m going when it comes.”
“No, you aren’t,” he said and I could see it in his eyes before he spoke the words that took my choice away, “I order you to stay on the grounds of the Club. You will not leave unless I give you permission. You will remain here, in both forms. Disobedience will result in expulsion for you and your mate. Do you understand me?”
“Fuck you,” I growl but can already feel the weight of his order as if it were a noose around my neck.
“Brother, you know I’m right.”
“I’ll stay because I have to, but you have to let me be there when she’s found. I’ll break and go without the Club’s protection if I have to. I will be the one to free her. No one else touches her. Promise me.”
I can tell he doesn’t want to but he ultimately gives in.
“When she’s found. Only then.”
“Thank you,” I say through gritted teeth. It isn’t what I want. It won’t be me out there chasing every lead, tearing out throats until I find her, but I’ll take it.
After restricting me to the grounds, Roark turns his attention back to monitoring the reports from the teams searching for the truck. I listen to the reports coming in, but it becomes obvious, as day fades away, that she isn’t going to be found tonight.
“Go to bed, Hack,” X says, after several hours. “You aren’t going to help her by wearing yourself out.”
“You think I can fucking sleep right now? Knowing she’s out there somewhere, terrified? Knowing she’s being overwhelmed by all the emotions around her?”
“Doc can give you a sedative,” he says.
“I’m not getting drugged. They could find her at any moment.”
“And if they do, she’s going to need you to be rested and at your best,” Roark said, “Go lay down. Rest your body as much as you can. If they find anything new, I’ll notify you immediately.”
Sighing, I know he’s right and admit defeat. As I leave his office, I see Peach making her way to me and feel my body begin to tremble with rage. I don’t want her anywhere near me. I don’t even want to hear her voice. She isn’t my mate. I don’t want any woman near me. Only my Lark.
“Hack,” Peach purrs as she sashays close to me, “let me...”
“Go. Away,” I hiss, showing her my teeth.
She hisses back but slinks away. I make it to my room without further incident, shut the door and then lean back against it. Lark’s scent overwhelms me. It’s everywhere and it’s tearing my heart out.
Need to run. Have to find her.
You think I don’t know that?
Choking me here. Can’t stay.
Roark ordered us to stay. That’s why you’re choking.
She’s hurt. Can feel it, why can’t you?
I do feel it, buddy. Nothing I can do. We need the pack right now. We can’t find her by ourselves. Like it or not, we need their help.
My control slips and he springs forth, and I almost cry from the release he gives me. He prowls forward and leaps onto the bed, sniffing the sheets. The cry he releases echoes through the hallways, through the entire building, rattling the windows. His need to hunt is only stifled by the order hanging around our necks like the mental collar it is. He cries out again and I feel myself retreating, letting the beast completely take over. It’s the only way I know I can survive the bleakness of the coming hours.
Twenty-four hours pass. No little bird. I spend my alone hours in solitude, preferring to stay in leopard form so I don’t give in to misery and drink myself into oblivion. During my human hours, I spend time with Eliot, going over every file I have for anything
