‘Hi,’ I whisper, sliding into the seat next to Sadie. We are slightly late – it turns out Rupert really did think I looked wonderful, and I ended up taking my dress off before the cab arrived. ‘Sorry we’re a bit late.’
‘How are you?’ Sadie asks, head on one side as she lays her hand on mine. ‘I’m so sorry about the other day, at Amanda’s. I just assumed that Rupert would have told you. You didn’t have a frightful row, did you?’
‘No,’ I lie, picking up the small menu in front of me. I have no idea what half the items on it are, so I lay it straight back down. ‘Of course not. It’s fine, nothing to worry about.’
‘Oh, thank goodness,’ Sadie presses her hand to her chest, ‘I’d hate to think that I’d caused any trouble between the two of you. He’s so happy since you came on the scene and we see so much more of him.’ She looks across the table and I follow her gaze to where Rupert is listening to something Miles says, before tipping his head back and letting out a huge belly laugh.
I scan the room anxiously, looking for Caro’s parents. ‘Have you seen the Osbournes? I’m a bit worried about bumping into them.’
Sadie looks around before discreetly inclining her head towards a table at the front of the room, next to a small stage. ‘Over there. But honestly, darling, don’t worry. They understand. They know Rupert needed to move on, no one expected him to be a lonely widower forever.’ There is something in her voice, sadness maybe, before she pins on a bright smile.
‘Thank you,’ I say, reaching out and squeezing her hand in a warm burst of appreciation. ‘I’ve never… no one I’ve ever been out with before has had a wife who passed on, so I just don’t know what to expect or how to react sometimes. I’m constantly worried that I’ll put my foot in it.’
‘Oh, no need,’ Sadie says, ‘everyone understands people have to move on. I was the one who told Rupert it was about time he sorted himself out, after all. You’re one of us now. Anyway,’ she smiles brightly and changes the subject, ‘what did Rupert think about your plans for the garden?’
‘He wasn’t as pleased as I hoped,’ I say, glancing along the table to make sure he is still occupied with Miles. ‘He shouted at me a bit about the pool, saying he doesn’t need one.’
The memory of his harsh words makes the back of my throat feel thick and I blink rapidly.
‘Oh God, really?’ Sadie rolls her eyes and reaches for my hand. ‘I suppose he came out with some old crap about not spending the money? That’s what Rupe does, I’m afraid.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh, he’s got such a chip on his shoulder about Caro’s family being so much more well off than his. He won’t want to pay for the pool because he’ll feel guilty that it’s Caro’s money, which is just plain ridiculous, if you ask me. If I were you, I’d just get the plans drawn up anyway. Once he sees it, he’ll come around. In fact, I’d go so far as to say he’d be thrilled.’ Sadie shrugs, and takes a huge sip from her glass. ‘You didn’t let him upset you, did you? The rotter. Honestly, darling, I’ll defend you to the ends of the Earth if he shouts at you again. I told you, you’re one of us now.’
I want to cry; I feel so pathetically grateful. Sadie is an important person in Rupert’s life and to have her approval means so much. I raise my glass to her, and we drink, and finally I begin to relax.
Sadie gets more and more drunk as the evening wears on, taking full advantage of the free wine. I, however, am trying to be on my best behaviour, conscious as I am that Caro’s parents are here. And I’m glad I did keep my wits, as I bump into Mrs Osbourne in the Ladies. I’m not sure she knows who I am, and I avoid eye contact, concentrating instead on washing my hands and scarpering back to our table. I slink into my seat, telling Sadie that I saw Caro’s mother.
‘Did she say anything?’ Sadie’s eyes are wide as I tell her. ‘The last time I saw her was at Caro’s memorial. She didn’t speak to us then, and I thought it was because she was upset but, in all truth, she never really liked me.’
‘Really?’ An auction has begun, and I sneak a glance at Rupert, who is already bidding on things with Miles. ‘Why not?’
Sadie shrugs, a sloppy gesture now she is three sheets to the wind. ‘Who knows? She’s a funny old woman. Wouldn’t leave Rupert alone until he held the memorial.’
‘Why?’ I lean in close, so no one can overhear our conversation. ‘Why did she want to have a memorial? Surely the funeral would have been enough?’
Sadie blinks. ‘There was no funeral.’
‘No funeral?’ I frown, the alcohol in my veins making everything feel a little muddy and blurred. ‘What do you mean there was no funeral? Everybody has a funeral.’
‘Not if there’s no body.’
Not if there’s no body. Sadie’s words are at the forefront of my mind as I swim up into consciousness after a ragged few hours’ sleep. My mouth is dry, and my tongue feels too big. A persistent banging thuds at my temples and my eyes ache, although from tiredness or alcohol I’m not sure. I didn’t imagine it – Sadie definitely said there was no funeral for Caro. I close my eyes again, thinking on how I had pressed her on it as she stumbled over the words, slurring and mumbling.
‘They
