His mother looked on with pure grief and heartbreak from the doorway. He had not wanted her to see it but his mother didn’t seem to be able to tear herself away from the man she loved. He had feared his mother breaking down at the sight of her husband thrashing on the bed and foaming at the mouth with pure insanity in his eyes but she had not. He, however, had slept with those images in his mind for two nights on end.
Between waking from before dawn and running around the clan and making sure the people were set, he had not taken any time for himself. This night, however, he was going to. He needed to find Mary. He needed to hold her, to press his wearied head on her cheek and just have her near him. The craving had nearly overtaken him during supper to the point he had to excuse himself at the tail-end of the meal.
Now, that he had her, he led her upwards, to the old rookery in the castle. It was the only place close enough and solitary enough to give them privacy. There were clean rushes on the floor and the high tower with its wide stone windows gave them a wide vista of the land beyond, from the town below to the rocky bases of the mountains up to their misty peaks.
He braced his back on the wall and tugged her into his arms. Instantly, her arms went around his neck and he tugged her hair tie off and buried his fingers in the silken softness of her long, unbound, silken hair. Her tresses were thick and smelled of rosemary.
The warmth of her body warmed him, and after he had fitted her into his arms, he kissed her. He pressed his lips firmly over hers, loving the feel of her shiver. Softly, he coaxed her tongue into dancing with his and ran his hand up from her back to the back of her neck.
Tilting her head to the left he parted from her lips and began to kiss down her neck. Biting at her pulse point he stopped himself from suckling a red, possessive mark in her skin. She would never be able to explain that.
Pulling away from the addictive scent of her skin, he nuzzled under her ear. Mary’s voice was shuddery and a bit hoarse, mayhap from not talking for four days or from her arousal. Possibly both. “I understood that you had to stay away from me but for a few days, like two, but when it hit four, I had begun to think you had forgotten about me.”
“Never,” he said on her skin before looking her in her eyes. “Never, lass, I’d never forget about ye. It’s just…my Faither, the clan and me Mother. I hardly sleep, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off and…and I am getting afraid lass. I’m afraid I’m going to lose him.”
He could see in her eyes that she was surprised at his admission. How many men would admit to that fear? Hiding it was something he was used to. Many saw him as the warrior he was, battle-scarred and intimidating, but rarely did they look beyond his appearance.
“Yer surprised to hear me say that, arenae ye?”
“I am,” she said quietly. “Not many men would admit that, I believe.”
He smoothed a thumb over her eyebrow, “Lass, I dinnea want to admit this but I will be absent for a while. Its naything to do with ye but it's me. I cannea let anyone see us together too frequently as the word might get out and ye face even more ostracization than ever before. They’ll see ye as a whore.”
Mary pulled away at his words. “That’s…is how they will see me?”
“And for some, it will be even worse if they find out yer English,” Leith added.
She heaved a sigh as she stared at the cracked open door, “Leith…I’ve never been in this…condition. I don’t know what it is to be with someone. I know that we have to be careful but…I don’t know what this is.”
Now, he was taken aback, “What do ye mean?”
Mary looked tortured, “I want to know what are you looking for from me. I do know that when you touch me, I feel giddy, but a part of me sours it…when it gets too good, it feels almost unnatural. My parents never touched each other in front of me, they never held each other, they never kissed. I’m afraid that you are going to want something from me that I don’t know how to give.”
God no! I cannot be losing her so quickly! Mary was definitely pulling away, and he felt both too tired for this and deeply frustrated. But as he opened his mouth to say something, he realized the words on tip of his tongue were not right. Mary was not like any other woman he knew and did not need to be treated like one.
He reached out for her and though wary, she allowed him to touch her. “Would ye like me to teach ye?”
Shock pained her face and her eyes were shifting, “Is that possible?”
“To teach ye to let those emotions ye have come forth?” He asked rather rhetorically, as his thumb dropped to trace her lips, “Aye, it is.”
Her lips were so soft, so plump and red that they beckoned to be kissed, but he held off. “Will ye let me teach ye?”
“I would,” she said hesitantly. “But I fear that I’ll be…a shadow of those who’ve you’ve been with.” He was about to say something when she shook her head, “You don’t need to justify anything to me. You already told me you were with women, and no one could blame you for it. You said the same to me in the Robasdan garden, remember?”
Chuckling, Leith nodded. “I remember.”
“I’m
