Oh, Mother, please, please don’t be angry with me.
She was feeling the same sting of guilt she had felt before.
Papa will be so disappointed in me.
She pushed these thoughts aside and opened the cotton towel of food. It was nearly empty already. One carrot was left with a splash of water in the flask.
Oh!
She was now angry at herself.
How could I be so stupid?
Marion ate in silence, absentmindedly holding onto the corner of the tartan. Her fingers were tracing the threads that made her initials—S.M.
I wonder what my last name was? Maybe this will help me get started… though it is not much to go on.
Marion drifted to sleep.
* * *
The next morning, she woke up hungry. She hadn’t eaten well the day before and riding the whole day had taken a toll on her. The sun was barely above the horizon when she stood up and dusted herself off. Sleeping on hard ground was a new experience for her and her muscles were sore.
Where can I get some more food? I have no money with me.
Marion grabbed Bells’ reins. She mounted the horse and started north.
Begging would not be all right… I am a Lady, after all, and what if someone recognizes me? They would tell my parents and I’d have to return home.
She was passing a line of beautifully kept stone houses on the right.
The houses were small, but well-kept and homey-looking. They were close together and she saw pig sties behind some of them and heard the pigs sloshing around in their muddy pens.
The gardens in the front yards were nurtured and growing many vegetables. She could see carrots, potato beds, apple trees and plums…
Apple trees?
Marion got an idea that immediately squeezed her stomach.
Should I? It would only be a few apples. No one would know.
She slowed Bells down a little bit.
She made the decision in an instant. She dismounted Bells quietly and stepped over the little wooden fence that was marking the yard of one of the stone houses. She reached the low-hanging apples and stuffed a few of them in her bag.
Wait… what am I doing? A Lady doesn’t steal!
She dropped the red apple she was holding. Marion felt hot tears filling her eyes with moisture, as hunger pressed her stomach like a heavy rock and tiredness flushed over her.
I can’t do this. Father was right. There is no way I can do this alone.
She started heading back towards Bells, who was grazing grass next to the little fence and waiting for Marion.
She mounted Bells and kicked her to trot. Though Marion may have thought about heading back, Bells was still heading north, as if she was saying “Let’s go, we can do this!”
Marion’s head was buzzing and cloudy from guilt, hunger, and regret.
Oh, God, what have I done?
Marion squeezed the reins in her blistering hands.
I have stolen. Stolen! I stole food from a family who probably needs every bit of it to feed each mouth in it.
Marion felt guilt taking over her emotions again, and she tried to get rid of the feeling by shaking her head furiously. It didn’t help.
What would her mother and father say? They would be so disappointed, so angry.
Marion felt a lump rise up her throat. She felt horrible for stealing and for leaving.
Maybe I should turn back.
No, I have to find my parents. I need answers. I cannot turn back, I cannot! How could I live a sheltered life, knowing what I know and having such a big unanswered question in my mind, a hole in my heart?
She convinced herself to go on.
The day dragged on, as did the next one. She stopped more frequently and asked for directions wherever she could. The ever-growing hunger was still pressing in her stomach, making her nauseated and clouding her already tired mind.
Next time, she was more careful. She would only sneak into a garden in the middle of the night, when she was sure the families were asleep. Marion never took more than what she needed, still feeling uneasy about taking from someone else. But to her surprise, though she still felt a hint of guilt, stealing got easier each time she filled her stomach.
By the fourth night, she thought she couldn’t be far from Scotland anymore. The scenery had changed, and the meadows were gone. Instead, she saw flatter moors, stony roads, and very few houses along her way.
The exhaustion started to take over her, and she felt her sore legs and arms. It became harder to keep her eyes open, so she dismounted and let Bells go and graze again. Marion leaned against a thick tree, letting her eyes close and her hands feel the hard, rocky ground beneath her.
The long journey, sleepless nights and lack of food finally got the best of her. She burst into tears and cried with all her heart.
Where am I supposed to go now? I don’t even know where to start! I don’t even know their names! What if they won’t remember me? Or will not want to see me?
Marion was sobbing into her hands.
Oh, what have I done? I left without a goodbye, talked back to my loving parents and acted like a common woman. I have stolen and disgraced the entire family. What will they think of me? Will they even take me back?
She kept sobbing uncontrollably, until a more horrifying thought entered her mind.
The Earl of Brookville… after he hears of what I have done, he will not marry me, that is certain. And no one else will either, for that matter. Oh, I will be an old maid, forever a burden to my parents.
Marion had ruined her life as she knew it.
Even if she were to return now, the damage was done. She had no other choice
