Shay’s mouth twitched for several seconds, and her eyes dropped. She blew out a huge breath.
“Okay, Brownstone, you win. I’m gonna share my secret with you, although it’s something I’ve tried to leave behind. Just...give me a few minutes to prepare myself.”
Shay walked into the kitchen and made herself at home. She opened the refrigerator, unsurprised to see everything organized in neat little rows.
“Your house is too damn clean, Brownstone,” she called over her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re not gay?”
The bounty hunter growled from the living room, “I’m not fucking gay, all right? Get over yourself, already.”
He keeps saying that, but I still don’t buy it.
“Really? This place is too damn clean and organized for a straight guy’s house. Whoa, Henry Weinhard Root Beer. I haven’t had this in years. Best head on a root beer ever.”
Shay let out a sigh. “You’re just so…” She shrugged and whispered, “Okay, you’re not into dudes, but I’ll find out your secret, Brownstone.”
“If I was gay, it wouldn’t be a secret. No shame in my game.”
Shay resisted the urge to grab a root beer. Pulling one out would mess up the symmetry in the container, and Brownstone would probably stroke out when he saw that.
Instead, Shay slowly walked back into the living room and sat on the couch, folding her hands in front of her.
Brownstone stared at her. “This isn’t about my secrets, Shay. It’s about yours.”
“First off, I was never a stripper or prostitute or anything in the sex trade.” She shrugged.
The bounty hunter grunted but didn’t say anything.
“Better description would be too hot from too young.” Shay held his gaze, not looking away.
Brownstone’s face softened.
“I’m not from L.A., you know. I’m from out east. When I was fifteen, I caught the eye of a guy in my neighborhood. Nice guy, good looking, also happened to be heavily involved in running dust. The Oriceran shit, not PCP.”
Brownstone leaned forward, intent on her story.
“This guy was, you know, really into me. I’m not gonna lie, Brownstone…when you’re hot you know it and the world does too, so I knew the effect I had on men and boys. I used it to my advantage.” Shay shrugged. “When Captain Dust showed up and started buying me gifts, I figured it was no big deal. I’d string him along and then move on, because it wasn’t like he could do anything to me. I was only fifteen, right?”
The dark-haired woman took a deep breath and slowly blew it out. Very few people knew what she was about to tell Brownstone. She’d tried to leave her past behind, but it was like the universe wanted to slap her in the face and shake her until she admitted what she was. No one could run from their true nature, it seemed.
“One day I was riding around in Captain Dust’s car. He’d taken me out to dinner. I was so impressed with him. Then he told me to suck him off, and I told him to fuck off.”
Brownstone’s face hardened. Shay had no doubt about what this man would have done.
Shay gave a long sigh. “He pulled me out of the car, slapped me around, and told me that he fucking owned me and he could do what he wanted. I told him to fuck off some more, and he threw me down and told me he was just gonna take what he wanted.” She closed her eyes. “For a second, you know, I thought, ‘why don’t I just let him fuck me, then he’ll stop hurting me,’ and I told myself, no, I couldn’t do that, because the minute I let one guy do what he wanted, the next guy would as well.”
Brownstone nodded slowly but didn’t otherwise interject.
“So I told Captain Dust there to get the fuck off or I’d kill him. You know what he did then?”
Shay waited this time. She wanted to hear Brownstone’s voice. It’d help anchor her in the present. Her dark emotions swelled and threatened to overwhelm her.
“What did he do?” the bounty hunter asked on cue.
The dark memories continued to pound Shay’s mind, and her nails dug into her palm. A few trickles of blood started.
“He pulled out his gun and handed it to me. He slapped me so hard my head bounced off the car, and he told me that I was a stupid little cunt who didn’t have the balls to kill him. He said that some people had the killer instinct, and some people didn’t. He said I would be his forever.” Shay stared into the distance, the painful memories feeling as fresh as they had twelve years before. “So I took the gun and shot him right in his dick.”
Brownstone blinked and grimaced.
Shay swallowed. “You have to understand, it felt good. Not because I’d shot someone, but because I’d taken control. That was what I hadn’t had before. When I was flirting my way through life I’d thought I was in control, but I was really just someone else’s toy.”
“So you shot him in the dick and let him go to make your point?”
“Would you have?”
Brownstone grunted. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“Yeah. I gave him a speech about how I was going to take control, how it wouldn’t just be my looks pushing through life, it’d be my skills. I shot him until the gun ran out of bullets.” Shay sucked in and blew out several deep breaths. “I got rid of the gun, and when people came around asking me if I knew anything, I told them I didn’t know shit.”
“So you got away with it? None of his friends came looking for you?”
Shay stood up and started pacing. “No, because they made the same mistake you did, Brownstone. They assumed some pretty little thing couldn’t be lethal. That I’d make a better stripper or escort or something.” She waved a hand. “What I realized after that was
