“We franchising this stuff now?”
Shay shook her head. “I had you holed up because of your brother. We’ve taken care of that, which means you need to start getting more sunlight, and you’ve already pulled enough stunts that I know you’d do all right on some jobs without me watching over you. The more you get out in the field, the better understanding you’ll have of my needs, too.”
Peyton nodded. “Okay. So, what did you have in mind?”
“Look through some of those minor league jobs. Find something easy, some small artifact or job worth a few thousand. Go ahead and get it done while I’m fighting the Devil’s Own Poultry.”
“Won’t you need me to provide close support?”
Shay snorted. “I can take a chicken on a hill without having a hacker backing me up.”
“A giant demonic chicken,” Lily pointed out.
“Still just a chicken.”
Lily glanced between Shay and Peyton. “What about his job? Can I go with him?”
“Nope. You still have too much to learn. You stay low until I can take care of the local 25K guys. I’ll handle them once I get back. I don’t think frying this chicken is gonna take more than a day.”
Shay’s small rental truck rumbled along the worn and cracked road, then a rusty gate in front of her cut off further access to the road. She pulled the truck to the side and stepped out.
She took in a deep breath of the sweet woodland air. The full moon and bright stars above kept the night from being impenetrable, but shadows filled the spaces between the densely-packed trees on either side of the road.
The tomb raider grabbed a small drone from the back and set it on the ground. After a quick interface with her phone, she sent the drone into the air. A giant chicken was the kind of enemy you didn’t want to surprise you.
The drone hovered above the conical hill of Alcock’s Arbour, legendary grave of a highwayman and now allegedly defended by one demonic chicken.
Huh. If a demonic chicken lays an egg, is the egg also demonic? What happens if I eat infernal scrambled eggs? Would that make me evil? What if I bring the demonic egg into a church?
Shay slowly circled the hill with the drone, looking for some sign of her poultry nemesis. She just hoped the thing didn’t talk, too. That would be too damned much for her brain to handle.
A faint red glow appeared on the camera feed.
“You’re kidding me.”
She magnified the image.
“The chicken. Of course. Half-hoped it wouldn’t actually be here.”
The soft light of the red energy surrounding the giant bird illuminated its form and confirmed Peyton’s images. Her avian opponent was large for a chicken, closing on the size of a decent ostrich. Red feathers and a stark red beak contrasted with its bright yellow legs. Other than the red energy field around it and its unusual size, it looked like any other chicken.
Shay shook her head. Just because it was a giant chicken didn’t mean she’d lose against it. It was just a damned chicken in the end. A dumb bird.
She programmed the drone to circle the hill and strapped on the sheath containing her tachi.
The magical sword might be overkill, but the chicken had to be difficult to kill if it was still alive after all these centuries. The energy field and size suggested it wasn’t going to be a pushover.
Shay advanced on the gate, still marveling that she was about to take on a giant chicken.
Okay, so this shouldn’t be so bad. Just need to put a few bullets into him before he gives me infernal salmonella.
The tomb raider hopped the fence and jogged through the open field toward the hill in the distance. The sinister red glow of the chicken guided her through the darkness. She didn’t even bother turning on the IR mode of her goggles.
I have to tell James about this shit, but he probably won’t believe me.
Shay had armed up with the expectation of a serious confrontation. She carried multiple guns, grenades, the tachi, and her adamantine knives. She hoped she could make a little chicken salad without having to go all out, but didn’t want her last memory to be getting her ass kicked by a chicken because she didn’t have the right equipment.
About the only thing she could imagine worse than being killed in her kitchen by her friend would be getting killed by a chicken.
A loud cluck followed by a piercing squawk rang out. It even sounded like a chicken.
“Our chicken has some nice lungs.” Shay unholstered her pistol. “Time to make some wings. Should have brought some sauce.”
As she advanced on her avian enemy, more squawks and clucks filled the air. The chicken didn’t move. It stood glowing in the night as if challenging her.
Shay picked up the pace, snickering.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the 9mm.
She arrived at the bottom of the darkened hill. Her opponent tilted its head back and forth, staring down at Shay with glowing red eyes.
The illumination surrounding the monstrous chicken highlighted a small wooden door right behind it.
“I don’t know what kind of magic someone used to summon a demonic chicken as a guardian, but this shit ends tonight.” Shay strode up the hill with her gun raised, waiting for the powerful poultry to charge. “You can still run away.”
At least it’s not a drop bear.
The glowing chicken let out another loud squawk and flapped its wings.
“Just my luck, I get a chicken who isn’t chicken. Sorry, but I need the egg you’re guarding. And shit, I’ll take whatever else is behind you.”
Shay fired once. The chicken shrieked and charged, but there was no sign of blood or a wound.
“Fuck.” The tomb raider emptied her magazine into the charging avian terror, but it didn’t even seem to notice.
The demonic chicken was on her before she could reload. The chicken launched a vicious peck at her, and she raised her
