Burned into her memory was the picture of Rocky in death, so in contrast to the smile she’d eventually managed to coax from him. She first met him when he’d come in six months earlier, just for a meal. When she tried to get him to place his name on the bed list, he’d insisted that there were others who needed it more than him. She did manage to get him to come occasionally to the group therapy session that she had and worked to set him up in their employment program. Recognizing signs of bipolar disorder, she had made sure to get him to visit the free clinic next to the shelter. Dr. Tiller, the clinic’s physician, had hoped to get Rocky on a regimen of medication to help stabilize his moods, but Rocky always refused.
“He never woke from his sleep.” Detective Fiske’s words rattled in her head as she continued walking down the street. Rounding another corner, she looked up and saw Ever Hope in front of her. People were going in and out the front door as always. The scene was so familiar, and yet now, she simply stood and ached for the young man who had met an untimely demise. Oh, Rocky. I’m so sorry I didn’t do more for you.
She had no desire to go back into her office. Not now. Feeling the overwhelming desire for a break, she glanced at her watch and decided to take an early lunch break. Passing by the front of Ever Hope, she continued walking until she came to her car. She did not have to ponder where she was going; she simply drove and was not surprised when she pulled into the driveway of her parents’ large home.
Walking around to the back door, her mind was flooded with memories of growing up in this neighborhood. The Kings lived next door, a couple that were best friends to her parents. With their five children and the six McBrides all about the same age, there was always someone to play with, fight with, confide in, or babysit. The oldest girl of all of them, she often kept an eye on everyone.
She knocked on the back door before opening it, entering the large kitchen, not surprised to see her mom busy making lunch.
“Tara! What a nice surprise!” Her mom’s eyes immediately narrowed as she glanced at the time on the microwave and asked, “Is everything okay?”
Not attempting a pretense of a smile, she shrugged. “I just spent the morning in the morgue.”
Her mother immediately moved to her, pulling her in for a hug. She looked so much like her mother but had more height from her dad. Sharon’s dark hair was now an elegant silver, cut in a bob. Her figure was still beautiful and her eyes as blue as ever. Her father, Colm, was tall and lean. A former FBI investigator, he now worked as a consultant after a medical retirement the previous year.
As she rested her cheek next to her mom’s, Sharon declared, “You’re going to have lunch with me.”
The two worked side-by-side in the kitchen, making sandwiches and pouring chips into a bowl before settling at the table. She explained why she had been at the morgue, sighing at the end of her tale. “No matter how much I do, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough.”
Her mom sat quietly for a moment, the two women comfortable with the silence. Finally, with a smile moving over her lips, her mom said, “After having two boys, I was so excited to find out I was having a girl. At first, you were the little princess. Sean and Kyle were so sweet with you, and your father nearly popped with pride every time he showed his little girl off. But after three more children, your place in the family went from being the baby princess to being the oldest girl. It’s funny how we don’t think about birth order and how it affects our lives, but I firmly believe it’s a factor. You were never bossy, but from a very young age, you slid into the role of taking care of everybody, including your two older brothers.”
Uncertain where her mother was going with her reminiscing, she continued to sip her iced tea, enjoying the recollections.
“I worried that I placed too much responsibility on your shoulders, but you seemed to relish helping your siblings. I think your brothers became better men because you took the time to let them know how young women should be treated. I know Erin and Caitlyn were so lucky to have their big sister’s guidance as they grew up. Goodness, even the King kids benefited from your counsel. You kept the peace among eleven children more times than I can imagine.”
“So, what are you telling me, Mom?”
Chuckling, her mom nodded. “Your father and I were not surprised when you became a social worker, Tara. Helping others is not just what you do, it’s who you are. You can touch their lives, but you can’t save everyone. To hold that up as the bar you’re trying to attain will only make you unhappy.” Her mother patted her arm before standing and taking their plates to the sink.
Driving back to work, her mind rolled to Detective Fiske, doubting he would label her as helpful. I’m usually so much nicer to people… She did not have to think long and hard about her reaction to the tall, blonde detective. When she first saw him at the shelter, her heart jumped to life, a reaction she’d had many years earlier when she first met Colleen’s dad. Blonde. Handsome. A charming smile. But Detective Fiske had such confidence. Since the end of her marriage, she kept a tight rein on her heart, and that had worked very well—until Detective Fiske walked through the door.
