I think about going outside again and explaining what just happened to him somehow. I peek through the window but can’t see Arthur anymore.
Fuck, fuck.
I may as well pack my bags.
Why do I cave in so easily with that piece of shit Lance? I can’t do shit like this. Lance obviously wants to make my life hell. I’m only giving him what he wants if I get myself kicked out of Ryland.
I think about Selina, her two shitty friends, and all the other rich brats at the party who read my journal. Danna and Bryce tell me my entries are all over social media now. I want to run back to the city, but all I have left there is Candice.
“Dearie, are you okay?” I turn and see Marta staring at me. I’m not sure if it was Marta’s genuine look of concern or her welcoming presence, but I practically fall into her arms. I can feel a tear forming in my eye. I don’t know what to say, but I feel safe in her arms. I want to say something to Marta, but have no clue where to start. I can only imagine what she’s thinking. She’s probably wondering why she got to be the lucky maid assigned to such a mess like me.
“Um, Elle?” Marta says. I say nothing, but don’t want to let her go. Marta rubs my back. “Everything is going to be okay, dearie. It will be okay.” Her words make me feel immediately better, even if I don’t completely agree. “Is this about your parents?”
I take a deep breath. “Sorry, Marta. Just having a bad day. I didn’t mean to attack you like that.”
“Elle, no. You have been through a lot lately. It’s understandable. Why don’t you relax, and I’ll have Anna cook a nice meal for you.”
I nod my head. “Thanks. I’m just going to lie down in my room.”
I close my bedroom door and thank Marta again for her understanding. She has such a motherly presence to her that I wonder if she has any children herself. I feel guilty that I haven’t even asked her questions like that. Maybe I am getting so used to the rich lifestyle that I don’t bother with asking the help about their personal lives.
Maybe this place has changed me.
Chapter 2
Bryce is whispering for me to drop it, but all I want to do is smash Selina’s face in. That would make for an entertaining quiet reading time in English class. The teacher is at the front, unaware or just not caring about what’s going on in his class.
“Let it go,” Bryce whispers again.
I look over at Selina and her two friends, Jenn and Mary, as they each have a copy of my journal and are giggling with each other.
I’m sure when the teacher said to reread one of your favourite books, Selina took it the wrong way. Reading about my first blowjob is hardly a literary classic.
“Guys, page twenty,” Selina says. Mary turns to the page, and her eyes light up. Selina looks at me with a smile.
I remember how good it felt slapping Lance across his pretty face the other day. I imagine the pleasure I could receive from taking care of little rich bitch Selina Jensen. Then again, our English teacher may actually look up and care what’s happening if he has to break up a fight.
I think of Arthur Cain and how he witnessed me hitting his son. I imagine how I would feel if I lost my opportunity here at Ryland Academy. Any more missteps, and I could find myself on a one-way ticket back to the city to fend for myself.
These rich kids think they can win. They think they will get under my skin enough to blow my future. Fuck them. They don’t know how much shit I’m willing to take for my dreams to come true.
I look at Bryce, who has a look of concern entrenched on his face. I give him a reassuring nod, and he takes a deep breath. I look over at Selina and her friends. Each have a devilish smile. I soften my features and give them a bland smile.
I know my smile isn’t ugly, but it seemed to make Selina uneasy. She puts down my journal and picks up a different book at her desk.
Maybe I’ve been going at these girls the wrong way. If they hit and miss, I should just smile and thank them for trying. I wonder if they figured out who I am, and who my father was.
I turn away, and the teacher is standing beside my desk. “Ms. Maven, this is quiet reading time, and I don’t see a book in front of you.”
I quickly grab a book on my desk and open it. The teacher goes back to his desk and sits. I peek over my book and notice Selina smiling at me again with her friends. I lift the book in front of my face, hiding my rage.
When class is over, Bryce grabs my arm and forces me out of the classroom before I say anything to Selina and her friends.
“Who cares about those bitches?” he says as we walk towards the cafeteria.
“They have this magical power of getting under my skin so easily,” I say, trying to collect my emotions.
“Everybody knows about your journal and has probably read some of it. Who cares what happens now? It can’t get any worse.”
I look at him coldly. “Don’t fucking jinx me. Wait—did you read my journal?”
Bryce looks confused and looks behind me. “Hey—look, it’s Danna.”
Danna waves at us as Bryce sits at her table in the cafeteria. I join them.
Danna flashes me a look of concern. “How are you doing? We didn’t get to really talk
