“Yeah, me too,” Elsie mumbles a little shyly, she’s completely unfamiliar with men acting like this towards her. This is such foreign territory for her, she doesn’t know how to react.
I should be running in the opposite direction, Elsie thinks to herself, but John has been completely attentive to me. If I let myself believe it, I would think he really wants me…for me. And Brian seems so real, so nice, so…open. And I feel good when I’m with them, they make me feel appreciated. I’m going with them, even if it’s just for tonight. And I’ll let them take me, make me feel like a woman who’s wanted and desired…for once.
*
John’s house is located in an upscale, secluded section of Scotts Hill. It’s at the end of a quiet cu-de-sac right on a canal. The large, grey, two-story house with white trim and a white picket fence across the front yard, has a wraparound, screened-in front porch complete with a swing and white rocking chairs, as well as fans for those very warm, humid, days. As they pull up, a feeling of calm and serenity washes over Elsie just from looking at the house. Her mind has visions of lazy days spent sipping iced tea with lemon as sweat drips down the sides of the glasses, rocking leisurely in the chairs with only the sounds of cicada’s, crickets, and frogs filling the air. The outside is already decorated with Christmas lights, pine garland, a huge wreath on the front door, and a ‘candle’ burning in all the windows.
This is a house for a family, Elsie thinks to herself, and she’s suddenly filled with shock and dread. She’d never thought to ask him if he was, or even worse is, married.
John must have felt her immediate discomfort, maybe he sensed the sudden shift in her body with her sitting next to him in his monster truck.
“What is it, Elsie?” he asks, his strong voice breaking the quietness of the cab.
“Nothing,” Elsie tries to say, but it comes out sounding more like a grunt.
Get a grip El, just relax and ask him. There is nothing concrete here, just some people hanging out, she makes an attempt at a pep talk.
“Come on, Elsie, don’t shut me out. We have to be open and honest with each other,” John encourages her, slowing the truck as he pulls into the three-car garage. He turns to her once they’re inside and the door is closed behind them. He takes her hand in his large calloused one, “I want you to trust me, and Brian as well. You need to trust us, for this to be perfect. Understand, Angel?” his voice is low and soothing.
She studies his face and everything in her yearns to believe his words, desperately wants and needs to believe them. She has never trusted anyone so much before. Completely letting her guard down to let someone in was a huge step.
“Are you married?” she finally asks, her voice hesitant.
“What?” the surprise is obvious in his expression and his voice.
She looks at him, waiting, and the longer he sits there the more annoyed she gets. Each second he stares at her with his eyes wide, makes her feel even more stupid for asking.
“Fine,” she finally snaps as she turns to let herself out of the truck.
“Hold on a second, Angel, whoa. No, I’m not married, and I’ve never been married. Whatever gave you that idea?” John asks her snapping out of his surprised stupor.
“The house,” she says waving her hand through the air with an expression that’s says, isn’t it obvious.
“Ok, I get it, you’re wondering why I need such a big place…,” he nods his head realizing what she meant, and why she might think he was married. “Come on, let’s go inside and bring in the stuff, and I’ll tell you about why I live here,” he says, looking back at her, giving her hand a little squeeze.
As they’re taking the last minute groceries out of the truck, he starts to tell Elsie a little bit about himself, only sharing the safe things that won’t open the doors to his demons.
“Brian and I were in the Marines together, that’s how we met. We served several tours together. Here, Angel, let me get that bag, it’s heavy,” John stops to take the bag with the sodas from Elsie, then he hands her the keys, “Get the door, Sugar.”
Elsie takes the keys from him and goes to unlock the house door. When they enter, she hears the beeping of the security system. John drops the bags on the counter and moves to the keypad on the wall where he enters the numbers to disarm it. He turns back to her and smiles when his eyes land on her, he is genuinely happy to have her in his house. Her being here feels really good to him.
“We started out in boot camp together, walked side by side through the streets of those shitty desert villages. We became invaluable to each other’s survival, along with everyone else in our group. It was like one of us would start a thought, and the other would finish it,” he says, smiling to himself and shaking his head at the memories, almost in disbelief.
Moving to the counter to unpack the groceries and supplies from the bags, John continues, “After we got out, I didn’t have anyone back home so I came out here and I loved the peacefulness of it,” he looks up at Elsie’s face and shrugs his shoulders, “so I stayed.”
Elsie is moved by his story, by the things he didn’t put into words but were so clear in that tiny excerpt of his life. He bought this house because he needed a home he never had. And he needed the peace to blot out the still ricocheting bullets and bombs in his
