“You’re right. I’m getting freaked out about something that hasn’t happened yet and that might not ever happen,” John agrees with Brian and pushes his worries to the side.
John wonders if he might be feeling is a premonition of the storm that is coming.
*
I’m running in a field, it’s night and I can see a sky full of stars. I can’t get my legs to move fast enough. It’s so hot I feel like I’m on fire. A hand grabs my arm, pulls me back and yanks me to the ground. It’s wet with the nighttime dew and cold against my clammy skin.
“You want me to fuck you like the whore you are, rubbing your ass against my cock you slut.”
I know that voice, and his disgusting smell.
He’s ripping my clothes off and I’m trying to fight him. ‘Stay calm, Angel, keep your head clear,’ John’s voice is calling to me.
“Give me that tight little ass of yours, bitch!” he yells, spitting in my face.
I look up into his face. It’s Charlie Myers, the boy who raped me and took my virginity in high school.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!” Elsie screams, sitting up in bed, waking from her nightmare, shaking and covered in sweat. Her heart is pounding and she’s going to be sick.
“Elsie, Angel, I’m right here, you’re ok, you’re safe!” John puts his arms around her and tries to comfort her.
“Let me go, I’m going to throw up, John,” Elsie moans as she pushes away from him and runs to the bathroom. After slamming the door behind her, John can hear her retching, while her body convulses from heaving as she vomits.
Some time passes, and the noises coming from the other side of the door stopped a short while ago.
“Elsie, Angel, open the door, let me in,” John orders her softly. He feels so helpless listening to her sobs, her coughs, her intense pain and there isn’t a damn thing he can do to make it better for her.
“Go away, John,” comes Elsie’s weak voice from the other side of the door.
“Angel, if you don’t open this door I’m going to bust it down, it’s your choice,” he replies calmly.
“Why did I have to get stuck with a huge brute?” John can hear Elsie mumble through the six panel door and it makes him smile.
That’s my Baby Girl, he thinks as his heart swells with adoration, pride and pain.
When he hears the lock click, he waits just a second, then realizes she’s not opening the door for him. Slowly he turns the handle and pushes the door open. Inside he sees Elsie lying down on the cool tile floor with a towel over her for a blanket and another under her for a cushion. The sight makes his heart break.
“What are you doing, Angel?” he asks her.
“I’m going back to sleep,” she answers him flatly.
“What?” He can’t believe what he just heard.
“I’m going to sleep, please turn off the light when you go out.”
John stands there immobilized for a minute, half in the bathroom and half out. He realizes that this is a turning point for them and where it’s going to lead them he does not know.
He turns and heads back to the bed. Elsie is fully aware of all of his movements, there is not a step he takes that she doesn’t know. He returns with two pillows under one arm and the blanket tucked in the other. He shuts off the light and comes to stand next to her.
“Lift your head, Angel,” John tells her softly.
She does and he slides a pillow under her head. He lays the blanket down next to her and sets the other pillow on top of it. Lowering his big frame down onto a sliver of blanket he lifts the rest of it to cover them both.
*
“Elsie, are you ready?” John calls up to her from downstairs.
Today’s Elsie’s follow-up with the doctor, and hopefully her arm will be good enough not to have it confined any longer. The swelling has gone down on her face but it’s still covered in pukey-green and yellow bruises.
“I’m not five, John,” she says annoyed as she comes down the stairs.
“Sorry, Angel, I know, I’m just worried about traffic,” he says with a sheepish look on his face.
“Well, if you’re so worried about traffic, I can drive myself, you know I am more than capable. You don’t have to keep me prisoner here anymore,” Elsie snaps at him.
She’s been snapping a lot lately, it seems like she’s constantly trying to start fights.
“You know it’s not like that, Elsie. Let’s go, hopefully today your arm will be back to normal.”
“Yeah, that’s about the only thing,” she mumbles as she heads for the door, grabbing her pocketbook and phone on the way out.
John couldn’t help but hear her and the comment only adds to the fears that began exploding inside of him a few days ago. The day he talked to Brian.
In the car, on the way to the doctor’s office, John turns on the radio. This is the first time Elsie’s been out of the house since the attack. Her knuckles are white, from gripping the seat so tightly, and her eyes are as big as saucers. Her head is snapping back and forth, looking from here to there.
“How are you feeling, Elsie,” John asks quietly, as he places his big hand over hers. He feels her grip loosening on the seat under his gentle touch and relaxing a little.
“I guess I’m a little wound-up,” she turns towards him and gives a tight smile. “I’m sorry, John, I don’t mean to be such a bitch.”
“Hey now, don’t say that, you’re not. You’re nervous, that’s all, it’s understandable,” he tries to reassure her, shushing her as she starts to let it out. He brings her hand to his lips and kisses it lightly before placing it back on the seat between them.
“Yeah, I guess it’s nerves,” Elsie
