“I know you’re mad at me,” Frank continued. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I needed to go away for a bit. I needed to clear my mind and figure out what to do with the rest of my life.”
“I’m glad you took the time to work on your issues.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call back. I didn’t want to make more promises I wasn’t sure I could keep.”
“Good.” I nodded and pulled his palms down, away from my face.
“I missed you like crazy.”
“Well, hate to disappoint you, but I was too busy sorting through the pile of shit you left us with to miss you.”
“I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I am sorry.”
“Why are you here, Frank? To capitalize on our work? You had the opportunity to be part of this project… Do you expect me to welcome you with open arms?”
“No. I want another chance. I’ve been sober for over two months.”
“So you checked yourself out of rehab? Come on! You know better than that.”
“It’s not like that, doll. I’m only here for the event and my sponsor is here with me. Alisha. You just met her. We’re flying back to Arizona tomorrow.” He paused to take a breath.
I felt stupid for being jealous, but my wounded pride didn’t want to give up yet. “How do I know you won’t slip again?”
“You don’t. And I don’t either because I can only take it one day at a time, but I can promise that I’ll do my best. I’ll work as hard as I can.”
“We’ve been through this before, Frank. You’ve said that same thing to me but failed to keep your word.”
“It’s different this time, doll. Please just give me a chance.”
His chest heaved. So did mine. Then something between us shifted.
Memories began to flood my brain. He was so easy to forgive, and it terrified me. My emotional dependency on him terrified me. “Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to leave you?” Inhaling sharply, I refused to let the tears spill. “It was the hardest choice I’ve had to make in my entire life, but I’m content with it. I’m happy with where I am and who I am. Even if it’s without you.”
He stared at me intently. “I know, and I’m sorry I put you in a position where you had to choose. I’m sorry I humiliated you. I’m sorry I said those words instead of the ones you deserved, and I’ll work hard for the rest of my days to make it up to you.” Fortitude settled into his features. “I love you and I want you back in my life.”
I felt it then. A warm balm wrapping around my heart and healing its countless cuts and gashes that I’d endured while being with this man.
“Frank…” My lower lip trembled as I tried to think of a reason to say no and put an end to it, but nothing seemed good enough. “There are hundreds of people waiting for me downstairs.”
“I know, and that’s why we’re not going to talk about the things we need to discuss until later, but I need you to know at least this much before you watch the film. I need you to know that I love you more than anything.”
Our faces were so close, I could almost taste him on my lips, taste his fear and taste his hope. My head spun and my knees shook. My entire body was under some kind of magical spell. There was a certain level of alarming awareness that pricked my skin when he spoke about the film and I feared the worst, but we didn’t have enough time to get into details.
A light knock dragged me out of my stupor. Then a throat cleared and a head popped in from behind the cracked door. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” one of The Jay Brodie PR girls said, her eyes ogling Frank. “But Linda needs you two for a photo.”
“Okay. Tell her we’ll be right there,” I replied with a smile. My face was burning and my heart was whamming against my ribcage, restless.
Once she was gone. Frank whispered, “Please. Just give me a chance, doll.”
I lay my palm on his chest and stared at the outline of his shoulder. He’d been down and broken so long that seeing him without a sling and with color in his face was strange. “Let’s talk about it later, okay?”
Downstairs was crazy. Frank and I were separated the instant we entered the lounge after a quick photo op and didn’t get to see each other again until the showing. My mother showered me with a dozen questions about him, but I had no answers. Confusing thoughts that ran through my head only made me hate myself more for wanting to forgive the man. He slid into the seat next to mine moments after Levi had finished his speech. The lights dimmed and a wave of anticipatory whispers rolled through the auditorium. The last three rows, reserved for the VIPs, were sectioned off and crammed full. Security guarded both sides in case someone tried to sneak up for an autograph during the showing. We sat at the very back, surrounded by darkness. Up front, the screen flickered and came alive.
I could see my mother’s French bun on the first row. Beside her, Janet and Billy seemed to be rekindling their younger years with his arm thrown over her shoulder. Looking around, I noted Brooklyn. Levi’s parents. Some of his college friends. The excitement was palpable. I sensed it with every cell in my body, the electrical charge in the air, the lilt in everyone’s voices as they exchanged murmurs.
I couldn’t describe the feeling that engulfed me when I saw our names on the screen.
Bernstein/Evans
Sweat coated my palms. Dreamcatchers wasn’t just an attempt to bring attention to all the unfairness. This film was a labor of
