He had absolutely nothing to complain about here.
“I’m not kicking you out,” she added, as if she’d read something into his silence.
“I know. And I know you want to keep this private. I’ll be careful when I leave. I promise.”
She pressed a little kiss on his chest, just above his nipple. “Thanks, Ken.”
“You’ve got nothing to thank me for. I guarantee I’m getting as much as you are out of this.”
The words were true. He’d had the best sex of his life with her, and he wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
But he had to admit that he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to spend the night with her. He wanted to keep holding her against his side the way he was doing right now.
He wanted to do this—just this—as much as he wanted to make her come.
Which meant he was really in trouble here.
Because he couldn’t let her know. If she knew, she’d never let him take her to bed again.
Five
A MONTH LATER, MADELINE woke up feeling rested and a little bit sore.
She and Ken had had quite a workout last night. He’d been out of town for a few days—taking his daughters on a weekend trip to Williamsburg—and he hadn’t gotten back in town until yesterday evening. He’d shown up at her door at about ten o’clock at night, and they’d been on each other immediately. They hadn’t even taken time to talk.
They’d just been apart for three and a half days, but evidently that was too long for the current state of their libidos.
Even after a month of this no-strings-attached affair with Ken, she still didn’t know what it was about him that got her going this way.
The night was a hot, dark blur. She couldn’t even remember him leaving.
Blinking in the morning light, she turned onto her side and suddenly realized why she couldn’t remember.
He’d never left.
He was still lying beside her in bed, the covers pushed down toward his waist, revealing his broad chest. He was sound asleep, breathing loudly in what was not quite a snore.
She smiled before she experienced a familiar knot of discomfort.
He never spent the night. It was part of their unspoken agreement. Sex when both of them wanted it, as long as they kept it secret and didn’t act like it was a real relationship.
It had been working perfectly for weeks now. They were both having a really good time, and their dynamic had never gotten messy or complicated because neither of them had differing expectations.
Madeline was thrilled by the relationship. She’d never been with a man in such an easy way. It didn’t stress her out or drain her energy or constantly make demands on her. In fact, it made her feel good—about herself and about her life.
She didn’t feel like a girlfriend, and she liked it that way.
She knew it was only easy because they were keeping it simple and detached. No matter how much she liked and appreciated Ken, if they were to start taking each other seriously, the relationship would change.
She didn’t want that to happen, which was why she felt so uncomfortable about his spending the night. That felt relationship-y. Girlfriend-y. It didn’t feel like meaningless rebound sex.
And the flutter of fear in her chest proved that meaningless rebound sex was where they needed to keep this thing.
After checking the time and discovering that it was just after six on a Sunday morning, she pulled the covers up higher (since Ken had been yanking them down in his sleep) and adjusted to get more comfortable. She lay for a few minutes, watching him and thinking about how he might change if he was her boyfriend instead of her secret lover.
Would he expect her to cook dinner and do his laundry the way Josh always had?
Would he grow complacent about sex and stop making a point of bringing her to climax every time?
Would he get bored of her? Stop appreciating her the way he clearly did right now?
Would she be tired and on the verge of tears all the time? Would she stop feeling like herself?
She hated the thought of it. It made her stomach twist in a way that caused her to feel physically ill. She wasn’t going to let that happen.
Things were going to stay exactly as they were right now until one or both of them were ready for it to end.
Hopefully not anytime soon.
“Are you staring at me?” Ken mumbled after several minutes. He hadn’t yet opened his eyes.
“No. Why would you ask that?”
“It feels like you’re staring at me. I can feel your brain working from all the way over here.”
She gave a breathy laugh and poked him in the side. “You could not.”
“Yes, I could.” He finally opened his eyes and smiled at her fondly. “You’re so smart that I can feel your smartness from my side of the bed.”
“I’m not that smart.” She felt like she was melting with pleasure because she could see he really meant what he said.
“Yeah, you are.” He rolled over onto his side so he was facing her. He needed to shave, and his hair was sticking out in all directions because he’d gotten sweaty during sex and then fallen asleep with slightly damp hair. “What were you thinking about?”
Not for a moment did she think about lying to him. “I was thinking that you accidentally spent the night.”
He blinked a few times, as if this fact had just occurred to him. “Did I? What time is it?”
“After six.”
“Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” He scanned her face with his observant blue eyes. “You okay about it?”
“Yeah. You didn’t mean to. It’s not like you’re about to bring me a dozen roses and then offer me a life of domestic bliss. You just fell asleep.”
“I did. I am sorry though. I know it makes you nervous if I don’t leave in the dark so no one can see.”
It
