But it was as if as soon as he laid eyes on her, Matthew was intent on goading her.
‘Well, the prodigal daughter returns.’ Matthew eyed her up. ‘Found a rich Boston husband yet?’
Susannah ignored him, taking her place at the table. The whole family was there – Mr and Mrs Young, Matthew, Annie the sister, and of course Silas, whom Susannah hadn’t seen since the awful dance. But sitting next to Silas was Rachel Weaver, of all people. Silas had his arm around the back of Rachel’s chair, and it was clear they were a couple. Rachel looked different. Less plush than Susannah remembered. Her face was a bit puffy and pale, and her brown hair looked lank.
‘Oh hi, Susie,’ she said. ‘How’s Harvard?’
Susannah couldn’t detect any sarcasm in her tone at all, and she was looking at her with a genuine expression of interest.
‘It’s great, thank you,’ she said.
‘Isn’t it just so amazing?’ Kate announced proudly. ‘I still can’t believe our Susie is at Harvard!’
Matthew shrugged as if he didn’t care, and Silas looked at her with dead eyes, as if she were nothing to him.
‘Sure, I could have gone to college if I’d wanted,’ he said, which was the biggest lie Susannah had ever heard, seeing as he’d dropped out of high school before he had even graduated. ‘But I wanted to make a proper living.’
‘What good is a college education for an island girl?’ Mr Young joined in. He had the same harsh mouth as his eldest son. His features reminded Susannah of a fox: all sharp eyes and pointy nose.
‘You’re the only girl from Vinalhaven apart from Mrs Matlock to have gone to college,’ Rachel declared. ‘That sure is something.’
‘Mrs Matlock isn’t a real islander,’ Mr Young contradicted her. ‘She came to Vinalhaven after. That woman had a privileged upbringing down south.’
Susannah really wished they’d change the conversation. She didn’t like all this scrutiny.
‘So, what you think you’ll major in?’ Mr Young asked her.
‘History.’
The older man guffawed, his mouth full of food. ‘Well, what’s the good of history?’ he said. ‘I might have thought if you did nursing or law or such, might be of some value. But history?’ He turned to Susannah’s mother. ‘Well, Judith, I can see why you were none too happy about her going off like that.’
Susannah was mortified at the idea her mother had been discussing her with Matthew’s parents.
‘Rosa, the gravy’s gone cold.’ He turned to his wife. ‘Heat it up.’
‘I am so sorry,’ Rosa Young apologised, picking up the gravy boat.
‘Please, it’s quite delicious, Rosa, I don’t find it too cold,’ her mother said.
It felt like the longest Christmas dinner of Susannah’s life. At last, the subject changed to rogue fishermen who’d been trying to muscle in on the islanders’ lobster grounds.
‘Those outsiders don’t know who they’re dealing with,’ Silas said, a menacing note to his voice.
The conversation was dominated by the three men as they moved from fishing to hunting.
‘Did you hear Mick Reed got shot in the leg, taking a crap in the woods?’ Matthew told his father and brother, and the three men had a good laugh about the unfortunate Mick Reed. The women stayed silent, not even looking at each other. It felt so suppressed to Susannah, after all her free debating in the coffee houses of Harvard.
As Mrs Young served Christmas pudding well-soaked in brandy and cream, Silas cleared his throat.
‘I’ve an announcement to make!’ he said, standing up from the table and pulling Rachel Weaver with him, whose pale face was now streaked red with embarrassment. ‘I’ve been working hard these past years, and got enough now to build my own house.’ He looked directly at Susannah as if to say, See what you’re missing out on. ‘I’ve asked Rachel’s father for her hand in marriage and he’s said yes!’
Kate clapped her hands in delight, and Annie squealed with excitement. Everyone rushed forward with congratulations. Silas held his arm tightly around Rachel’s shoulder as everyone crowded around them. There was a smile plastered on Rachel’s face, but Susannah could see her eye twitching, and tears welling. She really didn’t look ecstatic at all.
‘You beat me to it!’ Susannah heard Matthew tell his brother.
‘Well, I am the eldest,’ Silas said. ‘I need to set the example.’
Rachel turned and whispered in Silas’ ear. He gave her a look, nodded and released her. She scurried out of the room, clutching her stomach. She really did look very pale.
‘Do you think Rachel’s okay?’ Susannah whispered to Kate.
‘Yeah,’ Kate said, looking solemn. ‘I’ll go check on her.’
Kate slipped out of the room while Mr Young poured everyone a celebratory whisky. But the two girls didn’t come back. The men didn’t seem to care, so intent were they on downing their bottle of Christmas whisky.
‘Go see if those girls are okay,’ Susannah’s mother whispered to her, as she got up from the table to help Rosa Young and Annie with the dishes.
Susannah had no idea where the Youngs’ bathroom was, but she could hear crying and followed the noise. Pushing the door open at the end of the corridor, she found Rachel kneeling over the toilet, crying loudly, while Kate was sitting on the side of the bath and holding her hair out of her face as she retched.
‘Oh, sorry,’ Susannah said, backing out of the room.
‘Wait,’ Kate said. ‘Can you get her a glass of water?’
When Susannah had come back with the water, Rachel was sitting on the side of the bath next to Kate. Her sister had her arm around her friend. The girl had stopped crying, and her face was all red and blotchy.
‘Are you okay, Rachel?’ Susannah asked.
‘She’s fine,’ Kate said.
But Rachel looked far from fine.
‘What am I going to do, girls?’ she whispered, her eyes wild with despair.
‘You’re going to do what you said before,’ Kate said, her
