‘I own Katie, and I own you. This house, your whole family,’ he said as he pushed his fist up her and she gasped in shock at the pain of it. ‘Is this what your girl does to you?’
She writhed, and screamed into the mattress. Fought with every fibre of her being, but she had no way of stopping him.
‘Now feel how it is for real.’
He tore into her and she screamed with horror, her whole being shattering with her head buried in the bedsheets. Matthew kept thrusting and thrusting and all she could think of was a wild beast and how she wanted to kill him, pummel him with stones. At last he called out, ‘Katie!’ in a completely different tone of voice, almost like a mother calling for her child, and collapsed on top of her. She felt his seed leaking down the inside of her leg and she wanted to be sick, but she lay quite still until she heard the steady rhythm of his sleep. Carefully, so as not to wake him, heavy with pain, she slipped out from the bed.
She fled upstairs to her bedroom, shaking all over, trembling with shock and pain. Took her sheets and wiped down her legs, before throwing all her things in a case. She’d no idea where she was going. There was no ferry until the morning. But she’d sleep outside rather than stay in this house one more minute.
She went tumbling into the kitchen with her case, and Kate gasped when she saw her cut lip, smarting cheek.
‘We’ve got to go now, right now, while he’s sleeping.’
Kate’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh, Susie, I’m so sorry he hit you. But we can’t leave; where would we go?’
‘Katie, please, he did more than hit me.’
There was an uneasy silence in the kitchen.
‘Well, what do you expect, talking back to him and antagonising him the whole time?’ Their mother spoke up.
Susannah looked in her horror at her mother.
‘He’ll be sorry, I’m sure,’ Kate placated her. ‘It’s my fault. He’ll be better when the baby doesn’t cry so much, when I’m more able—’
‘He raped me!’ Susannah screamed at her mother and sister, appalled by their lack of outrage.
‘No, I can’t believe it.’ Kate shook her head, unable to meet her gaze. ‘He wouldn’t do that. Don’t say such a lie, Susie.’
‘More likely you led him on,’ their mother interjected.
‘Oh my god!’ Susannah wailed.
‘Sit down, now, come on.’ Kate tried to calm her down. ‘It’ll be all right. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be angry.’
But Susannah had never felt such fury at her mother, nor so frustrated at Kate. ‘I’m leaving right now. I’m not spending another moment in this house, ever!’ she shouted at them. ‘Come with me now because I’m never coming back.’
‘It’s late, there’s no ferry!’ her mother argued with her. ‘Have you lost your senses, you stupid hysterical girl?’
But Susannah couldn’t bear the betrayal of her mother and sister any longer. She fled out of the door of the house. It was a chilly summer’s night, but she didn’t care. She ran all the way to the ferry terminal building. Thankfully, the waiting room door was open. She found a corner and cowered in it, half-expecting one of her family to hunt her down. But no one came.
At first dawn, she got on the ferry to Rockland, swearing she would never return. No matter what.
31
Emer
29th October 2011
Henry had driven her to the other side of the island to the Perry Creek Conservation Area. Emer had met him at the diner on the wharfside, right after Lynsey arrived to visit Susannah. As soon as Lynsey had seen her aunt, and they’d given each other a cool hello, Lynsey had ushered Emer into the kitchen.
‘Why didn’t you tell me she’s so bad?’
‘But she’s stable,’ Emer protested. ‘Doing well.’
‘She’s got so thin.’ Lynsey said, and she looked upset. Emer had seen this so many times. When you were with someone every day you didn’t notice the changes, but the shock for others who had perhaps not seen their loved one for weeks was devastating.
‘Thank god Rebecca’s coming on Friday,’ Lynsey said. ‘It won’t be long now.’
Emer was shocked by her bluntness, but then Lynsey reminded her of Susannah. She’d obviously inherited her direct manner from her aunt. Strange they were so alike and yet didn’t get on.
‘Are you okay to stay with her today?’ Emer asked. ‘She’ll not want to take any pain relief until the afternoon. She needs a little help now getting into bed.’
‘Sure,’ Lynsey said. ‘You deserve a day off. What you doing?’
‘A friend’s taking me for a hike,’ Emer said, careful not to mention Henry’s name as she was not sure how Lynsey would react.
Fall at its splendid finale. The foliage a breathtaking expression of burning colour – red, umber, gold, green, yellow, brown. As she and Henry walked the many trails of Perry Creek, the essence of the island hit her. This ancient rock with its rugged coastline, surviving the wild Atlantic – so vulnerable, and yet resilient. It clung on to the edge of the coastland, just like all the hundreds of other little islands dotted all the way along Maine’s boundary with the ocean.
At first, they walked in silence, taking it all in and following Shadow as the husky trotted ahead. At the parking lot, there’d been a sign to keep dogs on a leash, but Henry had ignored it. They had parked at the northern edge of the preserve and were making their way to Perry Creek through glades of hay-scented ferns: amber, gold and yellow. They’d already seen deer running away through the woods, and squirrels busily collecting nuts for
