Their lips moved together, tongues barely touching. Liv felt for the top of Ryan’s shirt, trying to undo the buttons in the dark and probably popping one or two off. She didn’t know exactly what she was going for, but damnit, she wanted to feel her.
Ryan’s hands met hers, undoing a button or two and shoving Liv’s hand in her shirt towards her bra.
She was so warm. Liv shivered, her mind spinning, her hand sliding down into the cup of Ryan’s bra. She could feel Ryan shifting, trying to get closer, get more of Liv’s hand on her skin.
Then the blaring of a car alarm sent both of them flying backwards. Or as much as a jolt could in such a cramped space.
“Shit,” Liv hissed. She scrambled for her pockets, looking for her keys. It was the damn key fob and its alarm button, she would have bet on it. It was the only thing that could make so much noise.
She finally dragged it out of her pocket and quieted the alarm, but it was silent in the house now. Had the intruder left when the alarm went off, or were they still there?
Footsteps dashed down the stairs and out the door, and a car started a few moments later. “They’re gone,” Liv murmured, half disappointed and half pleased. Her mind was too scrambled by everything that had happened to make any sense of it quite yet.
“We’ll see.” Ryan was more cautious.
They sat there awkwardly in the closet, their hands now mostly to themselves. Liv’s heart was pounding, but not in a bad way. She could feel the warm flush she got when she was aroused spreading from her cheeks to her neck, and there was little more she wanted to do at that moment than pull Ryan back towards her and finish what they had started.
The thought sat heavy in her heart. She had loved Ryan from the moment they had first kissed at sixteen, and twelve years later, she still loved her. What she didn’t know was what to do with those feelings.
Liv wasn’t sure what to say. I’m sorry? Nothing? Crack a joke? She was not an expert when it came to humor. Not that she couldn’t be that way with Ryan, it was just —
“Liv.” Ryan’s voice was whisper-soft.
Liv turned to look at her, and the warmth and tenderness in Ryan’s eyes made her stomach simultaneously melt and flip over in fear. How could someone’s love both thrill and terrify her? Maybe that was what love did on its own.
But it wasn’t something she was willing to contemplate, not at the moment. There was a better time and place. A much later time, and maybe a much different place.
“Breathe.” Ryan’s voice was commanding now.
Liv exhaled in a rush, suddenly aware that she had been holding her breath. She half-closed her eyes, focusing on breathing and restoring oxygen to her body.
“There you go.” Ryan reached over and squeezed her shoulder, letting her hand linger there.
Liv let herself relax a touch into the sensation of Ryan’s hand against her. It was soothing. “I’m sorry,” she said finally.
Ryan passed her thumb over Liv’s shoulder in an acceptance of her apology, and then slowly, tentatively pushed the closet door open. The soft creaking echoed in the quiet house.
“I think they’re gone.” Ryan exhaled in a rush. “Careful, though.”
Not sure how to extricate herself, Liv ended up crawling out of the closet to get off of Ryan before she could stand. Her back cracked as she stood, and she let herself stretch.
She turned to look at Ryan, who was lit in the dim moonlight. Her shirt was still rumpled, the buttons undone from when they had kissed. Liv flushed and turned away. She wasn’t a blushing teenager, she was a woman. But she still wasn’t sure how to handle what they had.
“Let’s go look and see if they took anything.” Ryan seemed to notice her discomfort, buttoning up her shirt and providing work as a distraction.
Liv was grateful. They would have to talk about it but at least it wasn’t going to be right now.
They headed back into the kitchen, their footsteps soft. Liv tried to remember if they’d pushed all the cupboards back closed before they had fled to the closet. She thought so.
“I think they were looking for something,” Liv said, pulling open the drawers and noticing that some of their contents had shifted.
“Too bad we didn’t get a good look at them.” Ryan grimaced.
“Or a look at all,” Liv added.
Ryan nodded, and handed Liv the flashlight back. “Anywhere else do you want to check?”
Liv hesitated, then shook her head. “I’m not sure it’s worth it,” she said reluctantly. “What if they come back?”
Ryan nodded her agreement. “They could come back with reinforcements.” She frowned. “Hopefully they didn’t recognize the car.”
“I don’t get into town much, besides work.” Liv considered the question.
“But if they recognize the car, they could go after you.” Ryan looked at her, her tone serious.
A flash of alarm washed over Liv before she brushed it off. “I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be alone, Liv.” Ryan held her eyes. “You don’t have to call me, but I don’t want you going anywhere alone.”
“Okay,” Liv agreed, just to get Ryan to stop asking about it.
“Please.” Ryan’s voice was soft now. Pleading.
“Please talk to me, Liv. I love you.” The same pleading tone was in Ryan’s voice a decade ago.
Liv wanted to curl into a ball, wanted the world to fall apart outside her. She loved Ryan, she did, but she couldn’t talk about it. She couldn’t talk about the thing that had pulled her so far away from the one she had loved. She was on her own, and she knew it. She trusted Ryan, but her mother didn’t. No one could find out what was going on with her family.
Why was Liv taking the easy way out and listening to her mother? She didn’t know. Maybe she was a
