Not that Ryan really was a stranger. To Mocha she was, but to Liv she was the opposite.
The travel time passed in a daze, which probably wasn’t safe driving, but Liv had to get home. She was the only one her Gram had, and it was already dark outside.
It was a relief when she pulled onto the dirt road that led to their large, old-style Victorian house. It wasn’t anything over-the-top fancy, but it was isolated, and that was Liv’s favorite part. It was close enough to the town that they were considered local, but far enough away that few had been there.
The fact that Liv had never been comfortable inviting her friends over had been a whole different subject entirely. She shook the thoughts away, and the picture of Ryan that leaped into her mind, and got out of her car. The windows were closed, the front door just as she had left it. Some of the tension that had been building in her chest released, and she forced herself to take a deep breath.
“Don’t go crazy,” she told herself, shutting the car door behind her. She went to the front door and unlocked it, letting Mocha in first. Mocha headed straight inside. Liv closed the door and followed, listening for any sort of noise.
She could hear the radio playing softly, the classical sort of tunes that her Gram adored. There was noise in the kitchen, so that was probably where she was. Liv took a sharp right turn, ducking through an open gap in the wall to find her grandmother at the stove. Nothing on fire. That was a good start.
“Hi, Gram.” Liv smiled in an attempt to hide the shaking her body wanted to do.
“Olivia!” She was one of the few people that used Liv’s real name. She swept her into a hug, one that Liv let herself sink into. Her Gram was in her late 70s now, frail but strong at the same time.
“What are you making?” Liv looked around, distracting herself. Was she baking? The kitchen wasn’t messy, not yet. Besides, Liv could do the dishes easily enough.
“A cake,” Gram said, turning back to what she was doing.
Liv smiled at her. Gram was the only person she opened up to, really, because Gram was all she had left. “I’ll be right back.” She kissed Gram on the cheek and headed towards the bathroom.
She closed the door behind her and sank onto the covered toilet, her head in her hands. What was she going to do with Ryan in town, knowing she was back? How much did Ryan know? And then there was Cairo. God – Cairo was gone, and she was never coming back. The girl who had been Liv’s best friend in high school flashed through her mind, and the image threatened to choke her up.
What had happened to her while Liv was gone? What had driven her to suicide? There was so much Liv didn’t know, and so much she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. But she didn’t need to burden Gram with her thoughts.
She stood, flushing the toilet and washing her hands to continue the charade. The half bathroom was small, but it wasn’t used very often. Both she and Gram had their own. Still, it bore the same labels as Gram’s did - toothbrush, toothpaste. Comb, brush. Gram didn’t always forget, but when she did, it helped her find the word she needed.
There was a knock on the door, and Liv straightened up. “Yes?” Her voice was tentative.
“Are you okay, darling?” Gram’s voice was worried.
Liv exhaled slowly. She was normally so good at hiding her emotions, but seeing Ryan had undone her. She pulled the door open and closed it behind her, the standard precaution with a mischievous beagle in the house. “I saw Ryan today.”
Gram’s eyebrow furrowed slightly, thinking. “Who?”
“A friend from high school.” Liv smiled at her. If Gram was having a day that she didn’t remember things, there was no point in stressing her out. “Let’s go check on your baking.” Liv led the way back to the kitchen, her Gram right behind her. Gram was dressed in a frilly, rose-covered apron, with her poofy white hair going this way and that. She was the Grandma that everyone dreamed of having, one who surprised Liv with pastries or cakes when she was down.
The timer went off as Liv entered the kitchen, so she grabbed the oven mitts and opened the oven, pulling out the cake pan. It smelled amazing. “What type?” It smelled like chocolate, but there was something else she couldn’t quite place.
“Peanut butter and banana.” Gram sounded proud of herself.
Liv grinned. Just like her grandmother to experiment with flavors. “It’s going to taste amazing.” She leaned in and kissed her Gram on the cheek again. She was all Liv had left.
Gram’s eyes shifted towards the window and went a bit distant. Liv’s stomach flipped uneasily. Was she going to get out of it, go into one of the phases where she wasn’t sure who she was or what was going on? Or was it something else?
“I miss your mother,” Gram said finally.
Liv swallowed thickly. Her mom had died of cancer when Liv was in high school, and had left Liv the house. It had been Liv’s first closely-kept secret. Her mom had been agoraphobic, confined to her home, and she would only trust Liv and Gram to care for her.
It hurt her heart to think of that. Not just because of her mother’s death, but of what it had torn apart.
She shoved the thought out of her mind. She could think of Ryan later, when it was more convenient. “Me, too.”
5
Thurs 29th September; 7am
Armed with a pair of casseroles, Liv headed out of the house. Today she was going to leave Mocha behind, providing much-needed company for Gram. The fact that
