“Can I ask you a question?” The good guy in me says not to ask. Don’t be a dick right now. But the asshole part of me says it’s time she realizes exactly what she did to us.
“What?”
The waitress slides our plates onto the table and Juno unwraps her silverware before crumbling her crackers into her soup.
“What did you think would happen when one of us got married? Or found someone serious?”
She drops her spoon into the soup.
“I mean, I tried to cross that line you put between us when we were thirteen many times. And I get it, Juno, you’re scared. And I’ve allowed you to use that excuse because I don’t know what it’s like to lose my parents so young, but at some point, you have to live your life. You don’t want to date me, but then no one else should have me?”
“I never said that. I’m happy for you. I am.” Juno’s jaw clenches. She swallows every time she lies.
“The way you’ve been acting the last six months since I got engaged says you’re not.”
She leans back and puts her hands in her lap. “I’m not used to sharing you. That’s all.”
“Exactly.” I lean forward and my voice rises so loud that two employees at the counter glance over. “So I’ll ask again, what did you think was going to happen when you were so hell-bent that we only ever remain friends?”
She balls up the napkin and throws it on the table. “I wasn’t expecting to feel so left behind, okay? I didn’t think. Is that what you want to hear?”
Now the employees are blatantly staring, as are most of the people in the diner.
She slides out of the booth. “I didn’t think I’d lose you, and I was stupid for thinking that. You have another woman in your life now. I’m second, so if you could please give me a little time to get used to that thought rather than throwing accusations at me, I’d appreciate it. It’s not like you’ve been entirely gracious when I’ve dated in the past either.”
Then she’s out. I have no energy to chase her, so I let her go, but my mind can’t help drifting back to the last time she said she felt left behind.
Seven
Colton
Thirteen years old
My mom’s sniffling echoes in my ear as her hand tightly grips mine. Everyone in Lake Starlight is holding their loved ones closer these days after the deaths of Tim and Beth Bailey. Typical small-town mentality says that something like this doesn’t happen here, but it did.
My family, along with a lot of Lake Starlight, sits across from the Bailey kids and their grandma at the burial plot. Some people chose only to attend the church service.
The woman behind me whispers to her husband that Denver’s missing. I noticed that too, but more because they left the chair between Juno and Rome empty. Whether it was planned or not, I don’t know, but they sat in birth order.
The dark sky over the cemetery feels like a sign that we’re all mourning the deaths of Tim and Beth Bailey. Their snowmobile crashed into a tree, and neither of them survived their injuries after being rushed to the hospital.
My mom hasn’t stopped crying since we got the news. Still, she and Mrs. Kelly set up a dinner delivery service to the Bailey house to make sure the kids don’t starve. Although their grandma isn’t old, she’s not young enough to care for the seven of nine children who still live at home. Which is what has everyone asking… who will raise the Bailey kids and run Bailey Timber?
Sedona scurries out of her chair and climbs into Savannah’s lap. Austin and Rome look as if they’re seconds from crying based on their trembling chins. Kingston is openly sobbing with his arm slung over Phoenix at the end of the line. I’m focused on Juno, who sits in her chair with her legs crossed and not one tear falling down her cheeks.
The double black caskets are covered in an array of pastel-colored roses with Mr. and Mrs. Bailey’s wedding picture on an easel between them. The preacher continues his speech about grief and how we can honor them through our memories. Austin leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, and I watch intently to see if he’s finally going to break.
My mom squeezes my hand tighter and a howling sound escapes her as the preacher finally finishes his speech about how the Baileys will be watching us like angels and that they couldn’t live on this Earth without each other, so God took them together. Then he excuses us and says the family would like some private time.
A lady from the church hands each kid two roses of a different color.
All the guests walk down the steep hill, but I keep looking over my shoulder to check on Juno.
My mom stops to talk to Mrs. Johnson, carrying on about how sad it is and asking if anyone has heard whether their grandma will raise them. Austin’s due to graduate from college in May and there’re rumors about him being drafted to play in the pros. Savannah’s only nineteen, but maybe she’ll return from college as well. They talk about Bailey Timber and who will run the family business. They make it all sound so hopeless, that the Bailey kids have nothing now.
I stray away from my parents, walking up the hill enough to get a better view of the Baileys. Liam Kelly’s leaning under a tree and I pause a few feet from him. He quickly swipes at his face when he notices me. How can a guy that big, the guy who gets into fights, cry?
We watch each kid put a rose on each casket. Savannah gently
