But then immediately after, the Iyr gets up and heads into their bathroom. I call after them, like, hey, wait, are we gonna, like, cuddle, or what? But they just shake their head and say they need to get my fluids off of them.
Bit rude, I think, but maybe that’s just a cultural thing, so I try not to take it to heart.
Anyway, I hear them in the shower and I think: this was all kind of underwhelming, maybe I can get them going again in the shower? Always sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it, doing it in the shower, but then you get there and you’re doing it, and you’re slipping, and…
Doesn’t matter, I’m getting distracted.
So I sneak in. And I’m kinda drunk so I’d forgotten the whole “no foreigner has ever seen a naked Iyr” thing. And then, with the door now open, the steam in the bathroom slowly clears… and I see them.
…And that’s where this story gets hard to talk about.
What if they’re listening?
What if they’re just waiting for me to slip up and tell someone the truth?
What if they’ll punish me for it?
And all these same questions ran through my mind at the time. When I saw the truth, so much I knew about Z’h’ar suddenly made so much sense… It changed everything. I could see why they’d kept it a secret.
I ran. I was scared what the Iyr would do to me - if it meant they could maintain their rule on this planet. If I told anyone, you see, it could all come crashing down…
I couldn’t stay in the stronghold, not any more, so I ran off into the wastelands, to see the only people I thought might understand: the Arellians.
They aren’t how the Iyr describe them at all. They’re gentle, kind. About as far from “barbarians” as you can imagine. That narrative all makes sense to me now, of course, but…
Anyway. I ran out. Found myself in a village called Te’r’ok, surrounded by these Arellians. And I wanted to tell them the truth, I really did! But… what would I do next? At some point, I had to return to the city - that was the only way home - and if I told the Arellians, I was only damaging my relationship with the Iyr…
I didn’t have any option, you see? There was no good choice.
Mel, tired, fed up, and despairing, put her head in her hands.
‘What did you see, Mel?’ I asked.
‘I told you; I don’t think I should say.’ She nodded to the ceiling. ‘Not when they might be watching… listening.’
‘We’re going to get you out of here, Mel. Te’rnu is gonna come back for us. But we need to know what we’re not seeing. We need to know what we’re missing.’
‘Why do you care so much?’ Mel replied. ‘Why endanger your own life with the truth?’
I paused for a moment. Was that really what had happened here? Was I risking my life for his truth? Or was I just trying to solve the case? If the two hadn’t been so inextricably linked, would I be fighting so hard to learn the secrets of the Iyr?
‘My friend… the Arellian, he’s spent his whole life searching for this truth. And he doesn’t have long left now, he’s almost at the age of Mutation.’
Mel shot me a look which I didn’t quite understand - perhaps confusion at the concept? - but I continued anyway.
‘And he’s saved me a couple of times now, at great cost to himself. He doesn’t have a home any more, he doesn’t have a family, he doesn’t even have a friend in the galaxy other than me. And, to an extent, I caused all of that. By roping him into some stupid scheme. I think I… owe him this.’
My fellow prisoner looked down at the floor, picked at the skin on her fingers.
‘He’ll come back for us,’ I repeated. ‘He’s resourceful like that. He’ll come back, and we’ll get out of here.’
As I said the words, I had less and less faith in them. Te’rnu didn’t know the way of the galaxy, so how could he hope to blend in with them? And to get back to us, in the middle of perhaps the most defended building on Z’h’ar… it didn’t seem likely.
But I kept this to myself, not wanting to put Mel off telling me the truth. While there was any hope at all that Te’rnu was able to come back for us, I wanted to be able to give him the answers he’d spent his whole life searching for.
‘OK,’ Mel said suddenly. ‘I’ll tell you. But not because I think he’ll come back. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. They’re paranoid, the Iyr; his disguise won’t last long.’
Mel sighed to herself.
‘No. I’ll tell you, because, with every hour that passes, I feel less and less confident that I’ll ever be free.’
‘He’ll- he’ll come back,’ I repeated, voice cracking with the realisation that I might now share the same fate as Mel. This time, I said it only to convince myself.
Mel shot me a sad look.
‘The truth is…,’ Mel started, eyes glancing towards the door, as though someone was about to burst in and stop her. ‘The truth that you’ve been searching for is… You’ve seen an Iyr.’
I pulled a face. ‘I have?’
‘Yes,’ Mel replied. ‘Anyone who has been out into the Wastelands, or read about Z’h’ar, even, has seen them.’
What?
‘What does that…,’ I began to ask, and then the truth dawned on me.
‘The Iyr - they’re no mysterious species, no great benefactors to the lowly Arellians. They are the Arellians.’
‘Wh- How?’ I asked. ‘Why?’
‘The Arellians don’t die when they go through the Mutation. That’s not the end of their lives. The Mutation, it’s little more than…’ Mel paused, to find the right word. ‘The closest word we would have for it is… puberty.’
‘I don’t… I don’t understand. Why would they do this? The Iyr - why would they keep the Arellians
