“Isn’t it a little warm for a blanket?” she asked.
“That depends on what you’re wearing underneath.” Maria spoke over her shoulder. The blanket slid down past her shoulders, exposing smooth skin and nothing else.
Stacie couldn’t refuse the invitation. She wrapped her arms around the other woman and kissed her neck. “Come back to bed. You won’t need the blanket,” she promised. “We have nothing to do all day but enjoy ourselves.”
“Unless you get an emergency call?” Maria asked.
“Oh, the phone call just now? That was Dee letting me know Josie was coming home on time today.”
“I’m glad she is feeling better.”
She rested her chin on Maria’s shoulder and just relaxed there while Maria swayed in her arms. Their fingers interlocked, and she could hear a slow dance playing in the back of her head. It was a perfect moment until reality stepped in and ruined it. That call could have been work and she would have had to leave. Another call could happen in the next five minutes and she would have to leave. It was a crappy schedule, but it was her chosen career and she loved it. “Me too. You know, the emergency calls will never go away. Can you live with that?”
The subtle sway of their mutual dance stopped. Maria turned and looked at her. “What are you offering?”
That was a good question, a shrewd one that sent Stacie scrambling for an answer. She settled for honesty, even though it made her sick to think she couldn’t sugar coat her life enough to entice a woman like Maria to stay. “Not much.”
“I doubt that. Try me.”
“Okay. You said it yourself. I’m on call 24/7. I’m horrible at keeping house, and I can’t cook worth a damn.”
“All of these things I can live with,” Maria said. “Try again.”
She knew what Maria wanted. She wanted her to tell her about all of those arguments she had, the ones between her and Josie. Tired and old, replayed over and over, they had been her standby for years as to why she never brought a woman home or tried to start a relationship with one. Only this time it’s too late, isn’t it? The argument going on inside her head was going to give her a headache if she let it. She needed to wake up more before she could have this kind of conversation. She scrubbed her scalp with her fingertips, trying to force the synapses to fire faster. “I need coffee first, is that okay?”
“Of course! I’ll fix it for you.”
“Oh, no you won’t. You’ll put sugar or cream in it and ruin its pristine caffeinated simplicity,” Stacie said, gallantly waiting for Maria to slip through the door before following her.
Maria deserves to know what she’s getting into. Then she can decide for herself.
*
She was partway through her coffee and halfway through her excuses when Maria cleared her throat and put her mug down. The solid clink of stoneware on wood struck like a judge’s gavel demanding silence.
“I understand all of this. What I don’t understand is why you think I want any of these things you are talking about.”
Stacie’s mouth fell open. “But we can’t…” she started to argue. Maria held up her hand, effectively silencing her.
“No. Unless your arguments are simply meant to dissuade me, and you don’t want me to be here, none of those things matter. This place is no different from where I grew up, or where I would have returned to if you hadn’t found me. It is all the same, whether it is ranchers lost in their centuries old fence war mentalities, or the Church, or parents who will never understand what we feel, it will always be the same. There will always be someone who hates us for who we are, and what we have. But Stacie, we can’t let them rule us. Maybe someday things will be different, but I’m not going to put my life on hold until that happens. You have people here who love and support you, and you have me.”
“It just seems wrong. Can you live like that? Pretending to be a friend whenever we aren’t here? I can’t take you out on a date or to a movie without worrying that someone will recognize me and say something.”
Maria threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, sweetheart. I don’t need dates, or movie nights out. Give me a desert trail or woodland track, or even a secluded mountain stream to commune with nature and I am happy.” She leaned forward and took Stacie’s hand in hers. When she spoke again her voice was earnest, her eyes glittered with determination. “We can do this.”
“We can?” Stacie winced when she realized how much of a question that sounded like. “No you are right, we can.” She spoke louder this time, finding strength in the words, but more so, in her new found belief that they could do this. “It’s just another blind leap, isn’t it?”
“Not exactly.”
“What?”
“Do you think I just jumped in to the water yesterday without first making sure it was safe?” Maria asked. “I’d been there a while, you know. You found me where I chose to wait for you, but before you arrived I went down to the pool and cleared it of any branches and debris.”
Stacie shook her head, amazed that she hadn’t thought of that. “I’m impressed.”
“You can do both, you know. Be practical and spiritual at the same time. It’s not the universe’s job to clear the way for you, or warn you of hidden pitfalls that you chose to ignore. I’m not going into this blind. I won’t do anything to jeopardize your place here, or your job. I just want the chance to find out what little bit of the world we can carve out for us, together. You already have the perfect place, one we don’t have to share with anyone else.” Maria stood up and led Stacie back to the back patio. “It’s right out there, surrounded
