His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. The beeping sound that came when you were getting another call had him pulling the phone away from his ear, glad for the distraction. That was until he saw Ford’s name flashing across the caller ID with the option to put the current call on hold and answer or to decline.
Ford! He needed to talk to him. Maybe he would make everything make sense. But then Sawyer’s body locked up like all his muscles had been flash frozen. What was he supposed… How did he tell him about this?
“Mr. Lancaster, are you still there?” Madison’s voice had him putting the phone back to his ear.
“I’m here.” Sawyer wiped his face with his hand. “I’m not sure what you expect me to do. I know nothing about taking care of children?”
“We have a lot of sup—”
Sawyer cut her off. “Why on earth would he put me in charge? He didn’t know me, and I sure as fuck didn’t know him.”
And now you never will.
His heart contracted as that thought slipped in. When it came to his father, he was used to feeling disappointment, anger, resentment… abandoned.
Could he let his siblings feel the same way like no one wanted them?
Sawyer frowned. “What about their mother?”
Madison cleared her throat. “Your father had sole custody of the children. She hasn’t been in their lives consistently. It seems she’s had some issues.”
Sawyer could tell she was choosing her words carefully.
“And she doesn’t want them?”
Madison cleared her throat again. “Well, there is information I am not allowed to disclose at this time, but she was only allowed supervised visits with the children while your father was alive.”
“Oh.” Sawyer read between the lines. There were several reasons a parent was only allowed supervised visits with their child. And none of them were good.
It looked like he was all they had. Sawyer didn’t know what to do. His first thought was that they weren’t his problem, but that felt wrong.
Then Sawyer thought about what his mom would want him to do… and that made the decision easier.
“What happens if I don’t take them?” Sawyer asked.
There was a pause. “Well, they would become wards of the state and left in foster care. Right now, they are all together while we have been trying to track you down, but I’m not sure that would be the case if they were permanently placed.”
He closed his eyes and imagined the impact it would have on his life. Sawyer blurted, “Where can I pick them up?”
There was no other choice. It was the only thing he could do. The right thing.
She rattled off an address, and he hurried to the table with the landline and jotted it down on the note pad.
“They’re sweet kids,” she added.
“Right, well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sawyer hung up. Before he could put his phone down, it started to ring again. It was Ford again, and this time, he answered.
“Hey.” Sawyer walked over and lowered himself on his couch.
“Hey, babe. I didn’t think you’d answer. I was going to leave a message.” At the sound of Ford’s voice, he let his head fall back. Gosh this was what he needed.
“I’m so sorry I missed the call. I was just…” Sawyer froze, eyes wide.
Sawyer wasn’t sure how to tell Ford what had just happened. Not right now.
It was too soon to put this on Ford’s shoulders when he didn’t even know what it was all going to entail.
“I was just getting out of the shower.” Fuck, that lie sounded bitter on his tongue and his stomach rebelled against the words that had fallen from his mouth.
“Oohhh…” Ford’s voice was gravelly. “You wet and naked? No fair telling me that when you’re so far away.”
Sawyer lips lifted momentarily, but then everything came back. He wasn’t naked, and definitely wasn’t wet. Oh, and now he came with children.
“I miss you too.” God he wished Ford was here.
“Trust me, babe, I miss you more.” Ford let out a sigh that summed up how he was feeling too. “But I didn’t just call to tell you how much I wish you were here. I met with a contractor this afternoon. It’s Owen’s—do you remember him? Actually, it’s Drake, his brother. He moved back, and he needs a job.” Ford hurried on, barely pausing for breath. “I’m convinced he can do a good job, and he’s willing to work with the initial budget. I’m confident that he’ll be a great fit.”
Sawyer grinned. “If you’re confident, then so am I.”
Ford let out a breath. “Thank you.”
Sawyer looked at the clock. He needed to get some sleep because tomorrow would be a long day. But he also felt like there was a ball of lead in his stomach from lying to Ford.
It’s an omission not a lie… The tightness in his chest said even he wasn’t buying that, and a little voice in his mind called him out. Bullshit. You outright lied to Ford about the shower. But he needed some time to figure out what all this meant.
“Sorry, love”—Sawyer forced out a yawn—“but I’m gonna have to go. Early day tomorrow.”
“Of course.” He heard the disappointment in Ford’s voice, and he hated it, but he couldn’t be completely honest with Ford. Not just yet.
“I love you,” Sawyer said.
“Love you too. Talk tomorrow?”
“Of course.” Sawyer hoped he’d be able to tell Ford what was going on when he knew more himself.
“Night.” Ford’s voice was soft.
“Night.”
The call disconnected, and he dropped the phone onto his lap. Sawyer rested on the back of the couch, his eyes on the ceiling. This was the first night he hadn’t fallen asleep with Ford breathing in his ear or to his face on Skype. He felt the burn from bile coming up his throat knowing he had lied not once, but twice tonight to the man he loved. Would Ford forgive him when it all came out? Or
