Sliding the gear into reverse, he shifted to look over his shoulder to back out and she caught his clean, soap scent. She liked it, a little too much. Squeezing her inner thighs, she counted to ten, forcing her nerves to behave.
Once they were on the main road, she stared through the window into the lingering darkness. “Feels like old times when you and I would sneak out at dark. What were we thinking?”
“I’m sure this is a cliché answer, but things are different now. People are different. We can’t sleep with our doors unlocked and invite strangers into our homes any longer. I wouldn’t want Livvy doing the same things we did.”
“It’s always different for our kids than it was for us.” She turned in the seat to look at his profile. “Why’d you marry her, Creedy? Why in the world did you marry Melody? I understand you wanted to be a father to your daughter, but she wasn’t the girl for you.”
Whistling through his teeth, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Let’s just jump right into that hot pot, why don’t we.”
“If I’m going to be hanging out with you, we need to clear the air on some things.”
“I wish I knew the answer.”
“I’m angry with you. For a lot of things, but still, thank you for the coffee.”
Shadows played over his features. He huffed a low chuckle and he turned left heading away from the farm. “Melody seemed to be the best opportunity to take my mind off things.” The eerie quietness of his tone made her curious.
“You call that an answer?” She gave her head a jerky shake.
“It’s all that I got.”
“But you married her.” She wouldn’t let him off the hook. “Marriage isn’t meant to be shared with someone who simply takes your “mind off things’.”
He gave a tight shrug. “Yeah, I married her.”
“Why didn’t you two marry the first time?” Now that the ball started rolling, she had a dozen questions.
“I wasn’t ready for marriage, with her or anyone.”
Mindy slanted her gaze to the window, hiding the tears that developed in her eyes. If he’d known about their baby would he and Mindy have married? What would their life together look like? Could they have weathered the storms that couple’s face? As far as she saw things, if she and Branch made it as long as they had, without communicating—without sex—she and Creed would have had a fighting chance.
Time was such a wasted thing.
A familiar pain settled in her chest, right over her heart. She’d mourned not only the end of her and Creed’s relationship, but each milestone Jane had reached that he’d missed out on. She drew up one knee, laid her chin on it and looked across the seat, attempting to figure things through his profile. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Melody. I do mean that.”
“You sure?” He glanced over at her. “You certainly bring it up enough with that throaty, angry sound in your voice.”
“I do mean it. Not for you as much as for Livvy. Single parents raise children all the time, but Livvy knows she could see her mom, if only…”
“Mel would get her head on straight,” he grumbled. “What about you and your ex? Why did you marry him?”
“I loved him.” She did love him at one time, as much as she could.
He brought his hand up and rubbed his whiskered jaw. “I guess that makes sense.”
There were so many things she could add. That she never loved anyone as much as she loved Creed. No one ever made her laugh more. Or as angry as he could. That she’d never wanted to share all her hopes, dreams, fears, and wishes with Branch as much as she wanted to share with Creed. Divulging all those thoughts would only open a pandora’s box. She’d then have to tell him that Branch had been a good stepfather—as good as he knew how to be. They’d shared some good times, all revolving around Jane.
“He was an idiot for cheating,” Creed mumbled. “Just sayin’.” His tone sounded different, deeper and huskier. He leaned in and turned up the radio. The popular country song vibrated the speakers. Was this his way of saying that the discussion was over?
She reached over and turned down the volume. “The cheating was secondary to the fact that our relationship had been over for years. We just kept moving like robots. Each day beginning and ending, flowing together. When Jane got older and spent more time independently from us, the scary truth of how far we’d fallen away from one another was hard to ignore. I think I knew all along he was cheating before he admitted his unfaithfulness. I was just as much at fault because I chose to overlook the blaring truth.”
“What’s she like?”
“Jane?” Mindy’s heart bubbled up with love and pride. Tears blurred her vision. “She’s amazing. Smart. Bright. Athletic. Spunky. I could go on and on.” Her smile came automatically. “She’s at Columbia U studying zoology. She wants to work with wild animals.”
“She sounds amazing.”
“Oh, she is. I’m so proud of her.”
“Of course with a mama like you she couldn’t be anything but remarkable. What does she think of you coming back to Cooper’s Hawk?”
Mindy looked through the window at the faint blue streak appearing in the sky as the sun flirted with the morning. “She’s okay with me being here. She’s far more mature than most kids her age.”
“Does she look like you, or her father?”
Just like you. “Like her father.”
