He should be using this time to strategize, to figure out how to beat Kye. But his thoughts were untamed beasts, continually wandering back to Alena and the risks she took on their behalf.
Near mid-morning, Ana tried again. “Brandt, I’ve never seen you this nervous before a fight. What’s wrong?”
Brandt snapped around, spinning on his heel. “What if something happens to Alena?”
Ana’s eyes narrowed. “We’ll find another way to follow Kye.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
Ana didn’t respond for a moment, the realization coming to her slowly. She bowed slightly to him. “I’m sorry. My words were foolish.”
He stopped pacing and approached her. He put his hand gently under her chin and raised it until they were looking directly at one another. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m just not the commander I used to be.”
She smiled at that. “Some would say you’re better.”
The intensity of her gaze forced him to look away. “I hope so.”
He turned slightly so he faced out over the wall. There were things Ana needed to know, but he wasn’t sure he could meet her gaze and say them. “You know that I will gladly take the trip to the gates myself if it means that I can save any one of you?”
Ana nodded. “I admire your courage.”
“I’m not sure if it’s courage or cowardice. But the idea of losing more friends and allies here, it frightens me more than death. I can’t stand the idea of losing anyone else.”
Ana reached out and grabbed his hand. “And I don’t want to run, ever again.”
Brandt risked a glance at Ana. She shed no tears, but her eyes were rimmed with red. He felt himself a selfish oaf then. All morning he had been distracted by his own fear of loss, never considering that Landow held just as many terrors for Ana.
She’d told him often enough, especially back when they had just reunited at the monastery. Following Brandt as a wolfblade, she had always felt invincible. Of course, she felt fear. But Brandt’s bravado had convinced her they could overcome any challenge.
When Kyler fell under the building, she had confessed, something inside of her shifted. Suddenly, the stakes of their battle had become all too real to her. In that moment, terror seized her heart and she ran.
She didn’t speak about it often, and Brandt, self-obsessed, had forgotten about it. But Landow had broken her, too. He squeezed her hand. “You’re still worried.”
She nodded.
The offer pained him, but he had to make it. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
Her distress turned to anger in less than a heartbeat. She kept her voice low, but it was laced with venom. “Yes I do. I was just as much a wolfblade as you. Their loss has haunted me every day. I ran once, but don’t you dare imply that I can or should run again.”
No words were sufficient apology. He squeezed her hand again. “I don’t believe you’ll run, Ana.”
She returned the gesture, then gently pulled her hand away. “Thank you.”
After a few moments, when Ana was more composed, she turned her head toward him. “Brandt, I know you’ll do anything to protect those of us under you. I do. But what if you need to make the decision to sacrifice Alena, or me?”
Her words were like a knife slicing away the thin armor surrounding his heart. Some variety of that question had plagued him all morning. Even sending Alena to spy on Kye had tested his resolve.
Death was the end for them all. It was one of the few certainties in life. Sometimes, Brandt’s instructors had taught him, death can mean something. As a wolfblade sergeant, he’d been expected to give the orders that sometimes killed the warriors underneath him.
Until Landow, he’d never had to make that choice.
But he might have to again.
He couldn’t imagine the circumstances, but that was exactly the point. A time might come where he would need to sacrifice one to save many.
And he wasn’t sure he could.
He didn’t know Alena or Azaleth well, but since last night, they had become his, just by virtue of their cooperation. He didn’t think he could send them into danger any more easily than he could Ana.
“I’m not sure,” he confessed.
“You need to be.” Ana’s eyes hardened. “Because it’s not just our revenge at stake here. It’s the lives of everyone in the empire.”
56
Alena spent the morning following Kye. She woke before the sun rose and made her way out to his house, a walled estate nicer than any other property in Landow.
Part of her wondered if the Lolani were already here. If they were in Landow, there would be no better place to hide than within the governor’s property. She saw no sign of them, though.
Kye left the property just as the sun began to rise. Alena dropped from her perch on the wall and followed him.
Years had passed since she last followed a human through a town, but she regained the knack of it quickly enough. It helped that Kye didn’t seem to be concerned about being followed in the least. He stopped frequently to speak with passersby and merchants setting up their shops for the day, but he appeared remarkably carefree. Even though Alena had seen firsthand what Kye was capable of, she struggled to reconcile the deadly bandit with the political appointee she now observed.
She cleared those thoughts away. Kye was a two-faced man, and had been for years. Of course he would seem nonthreatening.
Kye made a straight path from his house to the center of town where town hall was. Alena saw no need to follow him in. The building only had one entrance and exit, easily visible from a teahouse across the street. Alena stopped into the teahouse, found a table where she could keep an eye on the entrance, and relaxed.
It wasn’t long before she saw Azaleth wandering
