“Some who use them vomit. Others complain of strong headaches. A few have come close to death’s gate. For others, the connection briefly vanishes. The problems are increasing in frequency, severity, and duration.”
Alena frowned, then signed her confusion. She hadn’t noticed any such problems, but she very rarely connected to her gatestone.
“Many believe the Lolani queen has infected our gate.”
Alena leaned forward. Through all her years with the Etari, she’d never learned much about their gate. Hanns, her emperor, had told her the Etari possessed the remains of a gate that had been shattered. It was the source of the small gatestones every adult Etari embedded somewhere in their skin, usually near the navel. It allowed them to connect to a power greater than their own, bypassing the cost that plagued imperial warriors gifted with affinities.
But Alena didn’t know where the Etari gate was, or anything else about it. Sooni, the leader of her family, had never spoken with her about it, despite Alena’s inquiries.
“I’m sorry,” Alena said. “Why does Sooni want me?”
“She says that you can soulwalk.”
Then Alena understood. Among the Etari, soulwalking was taboo, for reasons they had never explained to her. Alena only discovered her own ability to soulwalk after leaving the Etari, so the subject hadn’t come up.
After their last battle with the Lolani queen, Alena had written a long letter to Sooni explaining everything. She was obligated to inform them of Azaleth’s death, the outcome of the battle, and her own role in it. That had also been the letter where she told Sooni she wouldn’t be returning to Etar anytime soon. Explaining it had been difficult, and Alena still didn’t believe she’d expressed herself well.
Sooni deserved better from her.
Sooni had done more than just save Alena’s life. She’d given Alena a second family. And Alena was responsible for Azaleth’s death. Several reasons complicated any return to Etar, but it was her fear of facing Sooni again that prevented her from venturing near the border again.
But thanks to the letter, Sooni knew she could soulwalk and somehow thought Alena’s gift might be exactly what the Etari needed. Alena swore, in Etari. She didn’t need her mother yelling at her for her language.
“Will you come?” Ligt asked. “There is concern that if something is not done soon, the infection will worsen.” He paused, giving her a meaningful look. “We might lose all the power of the gatestones.”
Alena had mixed feelings about that threat. She didn’t treasure her gatestone quite the same way the Etari did. For them, the gatestone represented their passage into adulthood. It remained with them until the moment of their passing, when it would be given to another, often within the same family.
Her stone wasn’t without sentimental value. It hadn’t marked her adulthood, but instead her formal acceptance into Sooni’s family.
Her more pressing concern was that her gatestone fueled her soulwalking abilities. It had been a large part of the reason they’d defeated the Lolani queen and her minions. Losing the gatestone wouldn’t be difficult. Losing its power would be.
“I’ll need to discuss it with my family,” Alena replied.
Ligt signed his acknowledgement. “Perhaps it would be best if I waited somewhere else?”
Alena glanced at the looks on her family’s faces. “That might be wise.”
After Alena got Ligt settled in their family room, she returned to the dining room. Jace had taken a seat. She completed the circle. Then she took a deep breath and recounted the conversation that had just taken place.
“But you don’t have to go,” Mother said.
Alena signed the negative, then remembered she was with her family. She shook her head. “No. There are no immediate consequences to refusing the summons. If I choose not to go, Ligt will leave without complaint.”
Ligt might leave, but if disaster befell the Etari, they would hold her at least partially responsible. Then she would feel the consequences. But she didn’t want to make this decision about what the Etari might do or not do to her. She wanted to do the right thing.
And as soon as she understood that, she realized she had already made her decision.
It tore her in two.
Father, always more attuned to her thoughts than she guessed, realized the same. “You want to go.”
She nodded, feeling the pain in her heart mirrored in the faces of her family. “If the attack has anything to do with soulwalking, then I’m the only one who can help. And I don’t want to see the Etari suffer.”
Jace’s fists clenched at that, but he said nothing. At best, most citizens of the empire viewed the Etari with ambivalence. But no small number saw their existence as an affront to the empire. Jace might not have felt so strongly as a child, but Alena’s time among them soured any generous views he might have had. He couldn’t view them as anything more than the people that had taken his sister away from him.
“I don’t want you to go,” Mother said. “What if it’s dangerous?”
Alena had no good answer to her mother’s concerns. She felt little threat from the Etari, but she had no way to evaluate the danger from the gate. “I’ll be as safe as I can.”
Mother looked to Father, worry in her eyes. Father, in turn, watched Alena closely.
She remembered that gaze from when she was younger. It wasn’t a soulwalk, but the sensations weren’t dissimilar. Father didn’t have an affinity, but his careful observations and slow wisdom served him nearly as well. “Why do you really want to go?”
Alena swallowed. “The Etari saved my life, and I owe them a debt for that. If I can serve them in this, I would like to.” She paused, knowing the answer wouldn’t satisfy her father’s insight into his daughter. “And perhaps there are answers. For all my training, I still don’t understand my powers well, and this might be a path in the right direction.”
“And you’ve been eager to leave for weeks now, anyway.”
“Yes.” She wanted to tell them more, to tell them that she
