Last night he’d asked her to loosen his belt too, so Shyla shifted to her knees and took the liberty of unfastening his belt, her eyes rising to his as she did. Once it was open, she undid the top button of his jeans. Because her fingers were beneath the edge of his tee-shirt anyway, she extended them to stroke the flesh of his lower abdomen.
He dropped his jacket. “Easy, baby,” he said, dipping down to capture her wrists.
Hauled onto her feet in a rush, her next inhale was sharp. She almost fell against him, but he kept her wrists tight in his grip and thrust them high, extending her body to her tiptoes.
Wishing for his kiss, Shyla couldn’t take her gaze from his mouth. “Please,” she whispered.
Though she hadn’t meant to beg, she didn’t feel ashamed for doing it.
His grip stayed where it was, but he lowered his head. “I don’t trust myself to stop after one kiss.”
“Who said you had to?”
Clenching his jaw, he tried, like a man on the edge, to hold onto his restraint. “You and me got things to clear up before we think about getting physical.”
Hoping that confirmed they were building toward sating their lust, she was taken by surprise when he jerked her hands down. In the same move, he spun her around and locked both of her wrists in one of his hands at her lower back. He used that point of contact to propel her forward.
Steering her across the room, he thrust her down onto the floor in front of the couch where he sat. Shyla was still trying to get her hair out of her face when he grabbed her chin to tug her face up close to his.
“You want to kick me in the balls, baby, you look me in the eye when you do it,” he hissed.
Lost, she could sense his anger. “I… I don’t understand.”
“Say it again,” he growled. “Say to me what you said right before Beeks and Fish walked in here.” Mouthing into the ether, no sound came from her lips. “Come on, don’t feed me the shit that you forgot. Fucking say it, Shy.”
“You’re ashamed to be attracted to me,” she murmured, locked onto the ire in his eyes.
Yanking her closer, he hunched until her mouth was just a breath from his. “You better be careful what you wish for, Little Lamb, because after I claim you, there won’t be any going back.”
“Phoenix,” she whispered and tried to slide a hand onto his thigh.
But he tossed her face away with such force that she lost her balance and had to catch herself on her elbows.
He sank back on the couch, slouching deeper into it, slapping his hands to his face. “What the fuck am I doing? I’m a McDade. McDade’s don’t get with women like you.”
“Hey,” she said, climbing up onto the couch on her knees facing him. “Look at me, baby… We’re going to make this work, okay? We’re going to…”
His hands left his face so his arms could lay along the back of the couch. The moment he did look at her, she couldn’t remember any words.
“You don’t know anything about my family, do you?” he said, a sort of resigned sigh in his voice.
Shuffling herself forward, her knees came up against the outside of his thigh. She rose up to slide a hand onto his opposite cheek to keep him facing her direction.
Shyla rested her forehead on his. “I don’t want to be with your family,” she whispered, stroking his face. “I want to be with you. You’re the only McDade I care about.”
“Don’t think anyone’s ever said that shit before.”
Letting her lips curl, she eased back enough to find his eyes. “I don’t want to be just anyone.”
Taking his furthest arm from the back of the couch, he tucked a loose strand of hair away from her face. His lips stayed shut, though his throat moved as if he’d intended to say something.
After another few moments he let himself speak. “I’ve never had to be soft with a woman.”
The prospect of that provoked her anxiety. But right then wasn’t about her, he needed her reassurance.
“You can be hard with me,” she said though she doubted her own ability to respond in the right way.
“I’m hard with you every fucking minute,” he said, touching her hair again.
His hand drifted through her hair and returned to her face; he brushed his thumb across her lips.
In her naivety, Shyla hadn’t even thought to look south of his belt when they were having these encounters.
“I… I can help with that,” she said, ignoring her trepidation. “If you tell me how.”
“No, baby,” he said with a single shake of his head. “Sit round for me, properly with your feet on the floor.” Twisting around, she did as he said, aware of his arm against her neck where it lay along the back of the couch. “You have a good day, baby?” She nodded, smoothing her hands down the front of her thighs. “Remember what I said about everything. I want the truth. The details.”
He had said that; their trust would only come if she let herself be open. Picking up her feet, Shyla tucked her heels on the front edge of the couch and hugged her legs.
“I was happy this morning, looking forward to you waking up. I wanted to see you.” Her head fell back to rest on his arm, she tipped her focus to his that was looming
