Is she asking me out?
Chapter Six
Kylie
When I was young, I lived with my grandma. I remember she always said things like ‘Be happy, child’ or ‘Go have fun with the other kids.’ My childhood had been colorful because of her and even when some other kids bullied me and I ran home crying, she always had a warm hug ready, together with some good old advice.
As I grew older and left home for college, I tried to keep her legacy within my heart. But it didn’t really last long. Somewhere along the way, her warm smiles, powerful words, and unbreakable spirit got buried under the many disappointments that came my way. Whether it be the professor’s harsh words over my project, or the loss of a best friend, or even stubbing my toe on what would have been a perfectly normal day… countless things rose up until the ultimate thing happened.
I forgot who I was.
Who I was supposed to be.
That girl who lived with her grandma slowly became silent. And after my ex-fiancé’s betrayal two years ago, the final nail in the coffin, I’d begun to convince myself that maybe I was unworthy of happiness, of love and companionship. Maybe I was the problem here.
But then, unexpectedly, Tom came into the picture – and everything changed.
He was my very own knight in shiny armor.
I knew I shouldn’t say this since it has only been a little over two weeks. But we’d seen each other almost every day. That should count for something, right?
We were currently in my house, after yet another mind-blowing session of intense lovemaking which included grabbing each other’s bodies, grunting, gasping and screaming with abandon as our bones sang to the tune of multiple orgasms.
It was perfect.
Swallowing, I allowed a slightly goofy smile to spread across my face as I placed a pot on the cooker and turned around to spy into the living room. Tom was there, sitting on the sofa, an intent look on his face as he stared at his computer.
He was shirtless and the white luminescent light of my small but cozy living room shined gloriously over his body. Just looking at those toned abs of his made me blush – and remembering just how it felt to touch and caress them made my heart skip until the point where I almost couldn’t breathe again.
Such a sexy businessman…
As if he sensed me staring at him, he raised his head and our eyes met. A jolt went through me. He smiled – his perfect white teeth flashing as those lips of his went up at the sides. I suddenly felt giddy, my heart fluttering as I bit my lips and gave a smile of my own.
“Nearly done?”
“Oh.” I laughed nervously, whipping back around to glance into the pot of spaghetti, “Just a little more.”
“But do you really have to stay there like that?” He asked again, a smile on his face as he closed his computer and put his arms behind his head, relaxing on the sofa. Then, giving me a lopsided smile and a hot, slow look from my face, down the rest of my body, he continued, “I know I could use some help… right here.”
“Gee, how do you even get around? Your pickup lines are horrible.”
He laughed out, throwing his head back on the sofa as the mirth washed over his face. Then, eyes twinkling, he leaned forward and folded his hands before him. “Come on. I can see through that dress you’re wearing and it’s driving me crazy.”
I gave a pointed look at the tall kitchen counter which stood between me and him, blocking off half my body from his and shook my head, laughing, “Oh you have a good sense of humor. I’ll give you that.”
This – this easy camaraderie, this easy laughter, and friendship I shared with him – this was what lit up my soul in the morning whenever I woke up with him by my side, kept me up at night at times when we couldn’t be together, made my heart skip with anticipation during those long seconds, minutes, hours for which I had to wait before I could see him again.
I’d never felt it before – this giddiness, happiness and blind anticipation. Every minute without him felt like a thousand hells and I found myself wishing time and time again that I had telepathic abilities, just so I could transport myself to wherever he was and feel the warmth of his embrace wash over me again.
Is this love?
I’d asked that question time and again for the past few days that we’ve been together. The question and its many implications not only scared me – but also made me want to run for the nearest hills and scream my lung out.
I was afraid.
I’d been here before, hadn’t I? And I’d gotten burnt in the worst way possible when my fiancé left me at the altar for my best friend. Heck, I’d sworn never to do this again, never to let anyone in, never to let myself fall in love again.
But it was different this time, wasn’t it?
Many years had gone by.
This was Tom.
And if I never asked him, never let myself move past this black hole of fear, I might ruin this before it even began. Worst, I might never know what could have been.
“Tom...” I said, turning around once more to look at him.
“Yes, baby. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. Everything is. I just uh…” I began to untie my apron, slowly approaching him, “I just wanted to ask you a question.”
“Sure,” He gave his goofy smile, leaning back on the sofa, “You can ask me anything, darling.”
“Do you love me?”
He went still and the hand which had been reaching for the glass of water on the table before him froze mid-way, “What?”
“Come on, just answer the question.”
By now, I was out of the kitchen and in the living room. But something strange was happening. He was avoiding my eyes.
“Why are
