I hugged her tight. A weight started to lift even though my problems still hadn't been solved. "Now what did you want to know about your father and me?”
Another knock sounded at the door, this one harder and rougher. I rushed over as my mother straightened herself, then whipped open the door to greet the captain of the guard standing outside in the hallway.
"Permission to speak to the queen, Your Majesty?” he said, his expression unreadable. All business in his perfect uniform.
I swept my arm back. "Of course."
"What is it, Amir?” She asked meeting him halfway across the room.
"I've received word from the last unit at the border. There is no sign of the king anywhere."
"Have you checked every forest? Every river bank and creek? He can't have disappeared into the air?"
"I'm sorry, my queen. We have looked everywhere, twice. Our only thought is that he's escaped to the mountain peaks or has left the kingdom. We've alerted all the neighboring kingdoms and they are all on watch with strict orders to return him home alive. I’ve enlisted the best falconers to search the mountain peaks, but nothing has surfaced yet. A full search would be difficult at best with our current resources."
Tears welled in my mother's eyes, but she quickly wiped them away as her strong mask of the warrior slid back into place. "Then we must find additional resources. Gather your men and we will devise a new plan. He can't be far without food or shelter."
"Yes, ma'am." He nodded.
"That will be all, Amir. Thank you for your diligence and your information. As always you are an asset to this kingdom."
The captain gave her a quick salute then marched out of the room closing the door behind him. The second the handle clicked in the frame my mother's eyes flooded with tears. I pulled her close and she buried her head in my chest, as my arms struggled to hold her tight against her gasping sobs. Her whole body shook, the strength in her legs to hold her up evaporating with each painful cry. I rested my chin on her head and closed my eyes as my own tears began to fall.
Eventually, the sobbing slowed and she peeled herself out of my embrace. Make-up smeared down her blotchy cheeks and red spiderwebs spun in her watery eyes.
"Fallon, the guards told me you appeared out of the sky on a giant bird the other day. Do you still have access to it?"
"I don't think so." Veda’s offer to borrow Alizeh came before I hurt her. I doubted it still stood. But as my mother's face drooped, her heart smashing into yet another jagged piece, I didn't care. "But I can definitely try.”
A brief spark of hope glinted in her stare. "Do whatever you need to, but please, Fallon, go find your father."
The light glowed at the end of the tunnel. The dark green leaves fluttered in the golden sun as I finally emerged from the underground passage that led from the castle. I could’ve tried calling Alizeh from the courtyard inside the gates, but I didn't want to attract any more attention to myself this week. Discretion had become a precious commodity that I wasn't willing to give up.
I shortened the strap on the leather shoulder bag to ease the load and stop it from banging against my leg. Mom insisted I bring half a year’s worth of provisions, but I managed to put some back in the cupboard before she saw. I didn’t need to be adding any more weight to the journey than I needed to.
Stopping at the entrance of the cave, I propped my foot on the rocky wall and let the peaceful breeze wash over me. Birds chirped in the distance as leaves rustled and added percussion to their happy song. I forced my shoulders down and closed my eyes, my neck stretched up toward the sky trying to relax, but the knot of guilt tying tighter in my stomach wouldn't let me let go.
I stumbled down the pathway towards the edge of town and the only clear space I could land a giant bird without immediately alerting everyone in a five-mile radius. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I stuck my fingers in my mouth and blew, just as Veda had done before. A breathy half-whistle came out along with a shower of saliva. Gross. I wiped my hand on my pant leg and tried again. A low whistling sound emitted this time, but not nearly as melodic as she would have done. I watched the horizon, waiting for the giant cloud of feathers to come, but nothing dared dot the perfect blue sky.
I whistled again, this attempt much better and a lot less wet. But still nothing moved overhead. I tossed my hand through the air and sat down on a pile of dry leaves. I figured it probably wouldn't work anyway. Veda said I could borrow Alizeh anytime, but she’d probably changed her mind. Not that I blamed her for that decision, but I hoped she'd understand why I needed the bird when she finally spoke to me again. If she ever spoke to me again.
I propped my elbows on my knees and rested my head in my hands. Mom would be so disappointed. The one favor I might be able to do for her, to help ease her sorrow, and I let her down too. I clearly didn't have any luck with the ladies this week. Becoming king had been an even bigger burden than I’d imagined.
The sun faded behind a cloud, the warmth of it falling into shadow. I took a deep
