"Takes one to know one?"
"Quite." He adjusts his posture on the settee; he's lying on it lengthwise, feet up on its arm at the opposite end, propped up on cushions. "You looked out to check I was walking in the opposite direction from your little friend, right?"
"Her name is Alyssa."
"I wasn't sure if I was allowed to sully her virginal perfection by saying it. Right. Alyssa, then. So, this guy walks past me, looking all dramatic. Like he was looking for trouble. He had a long coat on. Bit like yours, kind of. But more dramatic."
"More dramatic? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Trenchcoat with a storm flap at the back, and yes, I checked him out as he walked past. What? I'm only human. Kinda. Shit, this hurts. Feels like it'll take a good few hours to heal up. Again."
"You've experienced broken ribs before?"
"I attract trouble; what can I say?"
"Okay, so, suspicious character. Go on."
"I doubled back. Didn't you see?"
"No." I screw my eyes shut for a few seconds, wishing I had. If I'd seen something, I'd have been moved to get out there and do something. Prevent it.
A bit like Adam seems to have done.
"You doubled back on yourself. Then what?"
"He was hassling her."
I glare without saying anything, silently bidding him continue. Silently ordering him to do so.
"Giving it the old come on, darling shite. Went for her neck. I ran to catch up, stopped it, bosh, Bob's your uncle, and Adam saves the day."
"Bosh? Bosh? I'm sorry to break it to you, but this isn't an Eastenders audition."
"All right, all right. He was asserting his authority. She was struggling to get away from him. I stopped it."
"How?"
"How? Bloody how? What does it matter? I fucked him up good and proper; is that what you wanted to hear? Wait, no. Bit too Eastenders, isn't it? Okay, I gave him a bunch o' fives, guvnor."
Rolling my eyes, I turn away. He's enjoying this a little too much.
"I don't see the point in going over this again and again. Anyway, aren't my five minutes up? Shouldn't you be throwing me out by now?"
"Do you want me to do that?"
"Not really. Your place is cheaper than a vampire hotel, even if your DVD collection is shit."
"Don't start."
"Christ. All right. Where was I? Yeah; I punched the guy off her. I think he tore her neck when I did that, 'cause she was bleeding something rotten and just gurgled a bit before she fell where she stood."
"And you didn't do anything to help her?"
"What, you mean apart from do over the guy responsible and call an ambulance and bring you his fucking ID card? I'm sorry, Nathan---I've yet to master the art of walking on water, curing all sorts of disease and infirmity, and splitting myself in two. I wasn't able to tend to Alyssa while I was chasing down this other fuckwit, was I? Besides, would you advise me to hang around a bleeding, vulnerable woman with a neck as slender as that? Rather like putting temptation in my own way, wouldn't you agree? My arse might be gay, but my fangs sure ain't. I'll stick 'em in anything, male or female, if it's got a blood supply."
His way with words is almost amusing.
Almost. I sink into the armchair across the room from Adam and rest my elbows on my knees.
"All I could do was pause between kicking this guy in the nuts and punching him in the face, to pull out my mobile and call for an ambulance."
"That was you, then," I murmur, still staring down at Alyssa's assailant's ID Just as well we show up on film. John Williams. I could swear his photo's staring back at me. I know this guy. We've met before. He's one hundred and seventy-three years old, according to this card, and he was the one I'd stopped from attacking that young woman in the school grounds half a lifetime ago. Seems Mr. Williams has developed himself a nasty habit of forcing himself on young women who don't want it. And now he's doing it out in the open, which means he's losing his inhibitions.
And a few teeth, thanks to Adam.
"I'd have preferred you to go back and see to Alyssa."
"And I'd prefer you to suck my big fat one, but that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Look, Nathan, if saying 'thank you' is too difficult for you, you could at least admit to yourself that I did the right thing. No way was I going to go back to Alyssa bleeding out on the pavement. I'd have been too tempted, and you would really have hated me for that. I know some vampires have this moral code about not sucking on someone else's food supply, but don't kid yourself. I'm not the bastion of any society's moral code, unless we're talking about the People's Republic of Adam; I just did what I did so you wouldn't hate me. I came back here to give you that---" he nods at the ID card "--- so you wouldn't hate me."
Fuck. My hands want to curl into fists, but I can't crush the card. I need it still. In fact, my entire body wants to curl up into one cringing ball of shame and guilt. Adam always knew how to lay it on thick, but when he's in the right, it's even worse.
"Here's what you need to do---"
"Apologise? I already feel bad enough for kicking you before I knew what happened; there's no need for you to---"
"Yeah, you can do that too if you want, but I won't hold my breath. I mean, if I breathed, I wouldn't hold my breath, but anyway. I was talking about you going to the hospital."
"What? Why? I need to go and find this guy."
I stand, waving the card in the air as if it's an instant photograph I'm trying to dry out. It's usually amusing
