No more pain, no more love, no more fear. Instead, she let it all harden into a hard, protective shell of indifference. She was her father’s daughter, after all.
“Goodbye, Jack.”
This can’t be happening.
Jack flinched as the door shut in his face and a lonely hush fell over his home. It was the sort of soul-deep silence that made him shiver, and for once he wished the twins would wake up so he’d have something to do besides pace around the living room tugging at his hair and trying to figure out how to fix the enormous amount of damage he’d done.
His head told him to stay put. He’d been down this road before, and he knew where it led—nowhere good. It was best to let Madison go now instead of begging her to stay in his life only to have her announce she was moving back to New York a month from now or worse, a year from now.
Except the mess with Madison was strictly one of his own making. She was right. Heck, even Wade was right. He should have been honest with her from the moment he’d suspected she might be Queen Bee. Better yet, he should have never picked up a pen and written those letters in the first place.
Most of all, he should have trusted his feelings for Madison instead of fighting them every step of the way. He’d been so desperate to protect his heart and to protect his girls that he’d denied them the one thing he wished they could have—a family.
Madison made him want things that he never thought he’d want again. He wanted to slow-dance with her to the lullabies the girls liked to hear as they drifted to sleep at night. He wanted to stand beside her in the little white church on Main Street and make the sort of promises to her that would end with a kiss and a walk down the aisle, hand in hand. He wanted to write her letters, so many letters, with enough loving words to drown out the ones he wished he could take back.
He dropped onto the sofa and cradled his head in his hands. It was too late for those things now. He could feel it in his bones, and he had no one to blame but himself. Madison was gone for good.
Any sliver of hope he clung to went up in smoke when he turned up on her aunt Alice’s front porch early the following morning with the twins strapped to his chest in their baby carriers. The sun was only beginning to peek over the top of the big red barn where he’d first set eyes on Madison Jules in her polka dot bathrobe. Daybreak swirled with fireflies, lighting the air like tiny sparks of hope. But just as Jack suspected, he was too late.
“I’m so sorry. She left hours ago for the airport in Burlington.” Alice gave him a sad smile and reached out a hand to let Ella grab hold of one of her fingers. “What sweet little girls you have. No wonder Madison was charmed by them.”
Jack’s throat clogged. He wanted to ask where her flight was headed, but he couldn’t seem to form any words. He also wasn’t sure what exactly Madison had told her aunt about their relationship. Did he think they were just friends, that Madison had been his night nanny and nothing more? Doubtful, seeing as he was currently standing on her front porch, completely gutted over her niece’s departure. Still, he wasn’t sure what to say.
Isn’t that how you got yourself into this mess to begin with?
The time for holding his tongue had passed.
“Please, come in.” She held the door open wide. “Madison left something for you.”
And just like that, his heart beat with his last, desperate shred of hope. His stupid, stupid heart.
“Did she?” Jack stepped inside, and a tiny creature came scurrying into sight.
The animal had a tiny tuft of fluff on top of its head and the tip of its tail, but was otherwise smooth and hairless. A sweater knit from bright purple and pink yarn hugged its slender body, and when it rose up on its hind legs and pranced at Jack’s feet, Ella and Emma both kicked and let out twin delighted squeals.
“Is that—” Jack peered closer at the comical little guy “—a dog?”
It looked more like a character from a Dr. Seuss book.
“Yes, that’s Toby. He’s a Chinese crested. Don’t mind him. He’s ordinarily more shy around strangers, but he’s a little out of sorts now that Madison is gone. Toby really enjoyed having her around.”
The smile Jack felt tugging at his lips was bittersweet. “Madison mentioned that.”
There’s a three-year-old named Toby who positively adores me.
She’d looked so proud when she’d said those words to him weeks ago at the Lovestruck Bean. That glimmer of joy in her warm brown eyes should have been a hint that she didn’t think she deserved such adulation, but he’d missed its meaning. Then came the talk at the fire station and that raw, unguarded moment by the bubble bath where he’d realized that the beautiful, beguiling woman who’d swept into town and stolen his heart feared that she was unlovable. And somewhere in the midst of it, he’d fallen head over heels for her aching vulnerability.
“Can I get you anything? Coffee? Breakfast?” Alice frowned at him. “How are you feeling? Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”
“I’m fine.” Physically, anyway. “Thank you, though. I just really hoped to talk to Madison before she left.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I tried to stop her. If that magazine wanted her to go to work for them so badly, it seems like they could’ve waited a few days, but she was so anxious to go.” Alice sighed. “I guess Vermont just can’t compete with Manhattan.”
“I suppose not.” Jack’s head began to hurt all over again. He gave Alice a grim smile. “I didn’t realize she had a job
