As if in slow motion, Nadine turned, coming face-to-face with her son’s father after all these years. Her tear-filled eyes moved over the clean, white sneakers, to the baggy blue jeans, up to the white T-shirt that was molded to a broad chest, exposing muscled arms, and finally landed on the handsome face framed by small dreads. Nadine saw the tears that came back and were once again dancing down Suave’s face unashamedly.
The couple lost themselves in each other’s eyes, crying from the years of hurt and pain suffered.
Joel, seeing that his mother was crying, ran and wrapped his little arms around her legs. Nadine reached down and lifted him, his face pressed into the crook of her neck.
“I’m sorry,” Nadine whispered, her eyes pleading with Suave. “I just had to get away.” With one hand still draped around Joel, she reached into the handbag on her shoulder and took out a handkerchief to wipe her face.
Suave’s body felt drained by all the emotions running through it. But surprisingly, instead of anger, he felt pain. “You came back.” His voice was hoarse as he wiped his face. “I... I... I never thought I would...” His voice broke, and he inhaled and exhaled, trying not to cry again. “I have a son.”
“Yes. His name is Joel. Joel Brown.” Nadine rocked Joel in her arm.
Suave looked down at his feet before looking back up at Nadine. “You gave him my name?”
“Of course. You’re his father.”
“Thank you.” Suave sniffled. “Thank you for keeping him and giving him my name. That means a lot to me.”
Nadine nodded her head. “I know you must be angry with me, but—”
“I’m not,” Suave quickly replied. “Well, I was for a long time after you left, and I thought I would always be. But now that you’re here, I feel more sad than mad. I’m sad that I didn’t know if I had a son or daughter. I’m sad that I wasn’t there for you throughout your pregnancy. I’m sad that I missed four years of my son’s life. But most importantly, I’m sad about the way I treated you, making you feel you had to run away from me. I’m sorry. I just snapped when you said you were going to have an abortion.”
“I know. I did what I thought was best for the baby, and me, Suave,” Nadine said sadly. “But after a while, I felt bad for keeping him away from you. I also missed my home.”
“Are you back for good?” Fear filled Suave’s eyes.
Nadine nodded her head. “We came back a week ago. Daddy was in the hospital, but he’s home resting now.” Nadine glanced toward the supermarket. “I came here to help Mommy today.”
“Were you ever going to let me see him?” Suave glanced at Joel. “Hello, Joel.”
Joel raised his head and looked at the strange man. “Hello,” he mumbled shyly.
“Can I hold him?” Suave looked at Nadine pleadingly. Before Nadine could respond, Joel was stretching his hands out to his father. Suave reached out and took the child into his arms, pressing him close to his heart. He was holding his son for the first time.
Choked up, Suave rocked Joel from side to side. He felt a love that was fierce and unconditional. “I want to be a part of his life,” he whispered over Joel’s head, his eyes locked with Nadine. “I want to know him.”
“We have to talk. I know what you do for a living, Suave.” Nadine stared pointedly at him. “I know the kind of ‘sales representative’ you are.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm.
Suave took a deep breath. “So, you’re going to make this about what I do for a living?”
“I’m going to protect my child,” Nadine snapped, her maternal instinct in high gear. “Joel comes first,” she murmured, glancing at the little boy who had his little arms around Suave’s neck, his head resting on his shoulder as if he knew who he were.
Suave looked at Nadine and saw the determination and love for their son in her eyes. Gone was the young, naïve teenager. Suave was looking at a woman who had matured mentally and physically. “Can we talk alone later?” he asked. “I don’t want you and me to fight about this. I want us to work together for Joel’s sake.”
Joel heard his name and raised his head to look up at Suave curiously. He flashed his dimples at his father, who did the same.
Suave kissed Joel on his forehead. “It’s so nice to meet you, Joel.” Joel giggled and tightened his hold around Suave’s neck.
Nadine watched the exchange between father and son. “We’ll try to work something out, but I really need to speak with you first.” Nadine lowered her voice. “Once we have come to an agreement, I’ll tell him who you are.”
“How about we meet at my house?” Suave said and quickly added when he saw the frown on Nadine’s face, “Just to talk and so you can see where I live. I want you to know that Joel will be safe with me.”
“Uh-huh. I guess that’s okay.” Nadine took a pen from her handbag and jotted down Suave’s information. “I’ll come around four o’clock tomorrow after church. The supermarket will be closed, so Mommy can watch Joel for me.”
Suave nodded reluctantly. He was hoping they could talk later, and maybe he would get Joel for a visit tomorrow. However, he waited all this time. Surely, he could wait another day. “That’s fine. Call me if you have trouble finding the place.” He gave Joel a tight squeeze and kissed him on the forehead again. “I’ll see you soon, Joel. Okay?” Joel nodded, and Suave passed him over.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Nadine was feeling happy that they had gotten through their first meeting after all this time in a civilized manner. “It was good seeing you, Suave.”
“Thanks, same here.” Suave peered at Joel, who was still looking at
