Anyway, I digress. The man handed me a flyer.
“Freaking Tweaking? What’s that?”
“It’s the festival that’s held on Tweaking Meadows every year. It’s great fun. There are lots of rides and games for the kids, and plenty for the adults, too. I do hope that you and your family will be able to attend.”
“We’ll do our best.” Not if I had anything to do with it. “Thanks very much.”
“I’d better let you get going.” He stepped back from the car. “It was nice to meet you, Jill.”
“You too.”
Once I was out of the village, I screwed up the leaflet and threw it onto the back seat.
***
As I walked towards my office building, I could hear an almighty racket coming from inside. It took me a few seconds to realise what it was.
Barking. Lots of barking.
The stairs were full of dogs and their owners. Dogs of every shape, size and breed, from a tiny Yorkshire terrier through to an enormous Irish wolfhound. They must be here for the free shampoo offer to promote the grand opening of Bubbles. It looked like Farah Close was going to have her work cut out.
Somehow, I had to try to negotiate my way up the stairs.
“Excuse me. Excuse me, please. Can I get past? Excuse me.”
As I fought my way up the stairs, the dogs began to bark even more; a couple of them even snapped at me. How I managed to squeeze past the St Bernard and its portly owner, I’ll never know.
Phew! I’d made it to the office.
“Good morning, Mrs V.”
“Morning, Jill. You managed to get past the dogs, then?”
“Barely.”
“I had an awful time of it. A little Pekingese took a real dislike to me. I thought he was going to have my ankle. I do hope it isn’t going to be like this every day. At least the clowns didn’t bite.”
“They’re all here for the offer of a free shampoo at Bubbles. I’m sure it will ease up after today.”
“I do hope so. Did you have a nice weekend?”
“Yes, thanks. We all went for a picnic in the countryside yesterday.”
“How lovely. It was a beautiful day, wasn’t it? Armi and I spent the afternoon sitting in the back garden, enjoying the fresh air.”
“What about the squirrels? Didn’t they cause you any problems?”
“I think we may have solved that particular issue.”
“How did you manage that? Did you persuade the pest control people to take them away?”
“No. Armi came up with an ingenious idea. He bought two giant parasols, and we sat underneath those. Apart from the sound of the acorns pounding on the parasol, it was quite delightful.”
There was no sign of Winky in my office, but Agents Ricardo and Lulu had moved the sofa next to the window and were keeping watch on the building opposite.
“Anything happening over there?” I said.
“Not yet.”
“Where’s Winky?”
“He had to nip out. I don’t suppose there’s any chance of some food, is there? This surveillance is hungry work.”
“Of course. Is salmon okay again?”
“That would be lovely.” Lulu licked her lips.
I’d just finished putting out the salmon when Bertie the pigeon appeared on the ledge outside the open window. Fortunately, the two undercover police cats were too busy eating to notice him.
“Good morning, Jill.” The pigeon waved a wing at me.
“Morning, Bertie. How are you?”
“Excellent. It’s a beautiful day. Why do you spend all your time in this stuffy office?”
“It’s not through choice, trust me, but I have to earn a living somehow.”
Harold and Ida had lived on the ledge until two years ago when they’d decided to retire to the coast. The last I heard they were living in Southend. About six months ago, Bertie and his brother, Bobby, had moved onto the ledge. They were both big birds, and I really do mean big.
“It’s slim pickings out there today,” Bertie said. “Bobby and I have been scratching around on the ground near the benches for the best part of two hours, and we barely picked up a couple of crumbs between us.”
“Oh dear. I’m sorry to hear that. Where is Bobby?”
“Having a nap. All that pecking has worn him out. He doesn’t have my levels of stamina. Did I ever tell you that I used to be a racer, Jill?”
“A racing pigeon?”
“No, a racing zebra.” He laughed. “Of course, a racing pigeon.”
“Did you take part in any competitions?”
“Yes, both Bobby and I did. I was much faster than him, as you’d expect. As a matter of fact, I was crowned Washbridge’s Fastest Pigeon of The Year two years running.”
“That’s very impressive.”
“There was a lot less of me back then.”
There must have been.
Mrs V came into my office. “What are they doing in here?” She gestured towards the cats.
“It’s okay, they’re just undercover—” Oh bum! When would I ever learn to engage my brain before speaking?
“Undercover?”
“They—err—sneaked in here under cover of darkness.”
“Why didn’t you just throw them out?”
“I—err—I’m going to, but they looked so hungry that I thought the least I could do was to give them some food first.”
“You’re too soft. That’s your trouble.”
“You’re right. Did you come in to tell me something?”
“Just that I forgot to tell you Mr Edwards rang before you arrived. He wondered if there’d been any progress on his case. I said you’d call him back.”
“Right. Leave it with me.”
I’d been dreading this moment. What exactly was I supposed to tell Rusty? That he really had lost his marbles? I couldn’t do that. Not yet,
