I take a big, deep breath and try to paint a smile on my face. I will not cry in front of him. I cannot give him my power. “Don’t worry about it. I’m leaving soon. I get it.”
“She called and needed my help—”
I hold up my hand to stop his lies. “Really, you don’t need to explain. I’ll see you at work in the morning.”
“Please…” he begs.
Tom puts my drink down in front of me. In one gulp, I drink half the glass, and my hand is shaking. Jackson just stands and watches me. I pull a twenty-dollar bill from my wallet and place it on the bar. “Thanks, Tom. Keep the change.” I turn to Jackson and take a deep breath. “Mr. Graham, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Gabby, I’ll be at your place.”
“Nothing is going on with Valerie. She had an emergency.”
“I believe her name is Jennifer.” I turn and walk out, and Brian follows me to the car. I ask him to take me to Gabby’s, and my cell phone pings.
Jackson: Please, let me explain. I’m begging you. I’m sorry.
I turn my phone off and hold back the tears until I’m securely in Gabby’s apartment and in a hot bath. Of the hundreds of bars in the city, he picks the one I go to the most? My tears flow. Sleeping with him was such a colossal mistake. And on top of that, I fall for him? From the moment I started almost a year ago, he’s had a string of women. I ended up being one of them. I’m so angry with myself.
When the water turns cold and my fingers are pruned, I finally get out.
I smell Gabby’s popcorn—her ultimate comfort food—before I see her. I put on some yoga pants and a T-shirt and head out to the living room for some BFF love.
“Hey.” She hands me a large glass of white wine. “I’m not excusing him not telling you what he was doing, but I think she lied to him about why she wanted to meet him. She ran out after you left and made a huge scene.”
I do find some comfort in what she says. But this will always happen with Jackson. I should have let my mind win. Instead, my body did. But I’ve let myself get burned for the last time.
“Thanks for coming home,” I tell Gabby. “I know you had other plans.”
Gabby brings me into a hug. “Tomorrow will be a better day.”
Chapter 20
Jackson
I’ve managed to fuck up huge. When Valerie called, she said her boss had asked her brother to do something, and he’d landed in jail. She implied that she had information from him about my company, and she said she needed my help. I didn’t even want to see her, and of course, she picked the bar Corrine would come to with her friend. Fuck!
Boy, was Valerie mad when I told her I couldn’t help her. Her story had started to sound fishy, and I realized it was all a ploy to get me to take her home with me. We’ve been out a few times, and I slept with her once in a hotel room at a trade show. It wasn’t that memorable. I’d never take her to my place. Corrine is the only woman I’d allow in my home.
Fuck.
I keep thinking about what Corrine’s friend said after she left. “You were the one I needed to convince her to stay. You were my way to keep her from going home to that miserable house. You saved her from Bobby’s shit, took her on a whirlwind trip to Maui, and promised her everything. But now instead of showing her she can stay, you’ve done everything every man has done to her her entire life. You’re a first-class jackass.”
I tried to explain, but her friend wasn’t interested.
“Why?” I scream at myself. There is no excuse for meeting Valerie without telling Corrine.
I call Brian. “Did she get back to her friend’s okay?”
“Yes.”
I can hear the anger in his clipped answer. “Did she agree to have you pick her up in the morning?”
“Yes.”
That’s a good sign. At least I know she’s coming in to work. I can talk to her then and apologize.
“What time?”
“I’m picking her up at seven ten.”
“Do you want to pick me up first?”
“She warned me that if you were in the car, she’d wait and go in later.”
“I really fucked up.” I rub my hand through my hair, trying to figure out how to fix this when she won’t talk to me.
“Yes, you did. I’ll pick you up at six forty.”
“Goodnight, Brian.”
Brian doesn’t respond and hangs up.
Even he hates me. If he’s not going to be respectful, maybe I should call Jim and have him replaced. No, I’m an ass. That’s one of the greatest things about Corrine. Everyone likes her.
I look out across the darkness and watch the lights of the cars crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. Corrine is special, and I don’t know how I can fix this. We were already on thin ice. The timing of this mistake couldn’t have been worse.
I don’t sleep well despite being exhausted. I keep thinking of ways I can get Corrine to stay—a big salary? Lots of stock options? An apartment? Clothes? Another long weekend in Maui? Everything I come up with, I can think of twenty reasons why she’d reject them. She wants to stand on her own two feet. A significant salary increase or stock options are too little too late now. But Soleil Energy will suffer without her, because I will struggle without her.
Sleep eventually comes in small
