I walk back to the master, and I smell vanilla and something burning. We better not have left a candle going all night. That could have started a huge fire. I swing the door open, and our bedroom is swathed with burning candles. Tiffany is lying provocatively on the bed with some kind of fur blanket. She’s naked.
“What the hell?” I yell.
“Hey, handsome.” Tiffany plays with her nipples, which she seems to have had pierced. “I thought after all the work you’ve been doing, you might want a break.”
“How the hell did you get into my apartment?”
Tiffany opens her legs and begins to play with herself. I can’t help but gape as I stare at her.
“Oh, I miss your big cock,” she says. “My pussy is so wet, and it needs you.”
“Get your fucking clothes on. You can’t be here.” I back up to the door, shaking my head. “You need to get the fuck out of my apartment.”
Suddenly I see Tinsley running in with Greg and Yolanda on her heels. This can break two ways, and I’m not sure I’ll come out ahead in either.
“But baby, you love me. I make you feel all good inside.”
Tinsley looks at her in disgust. I’m ready to defend myself about how she got here, but instead, Yolanda steps forward and pulls Tiffany out of the room, binding her with zip ties.
“Oh baby, I like it rough. You should see how wet I am. We’re going to make your night.”
Greg is on the phone with 911.
As Yolanda leads her away from me, Tiffany’s seduction moves from nasty to angry. “I can’t believe you’d do this to me,” she yells. “I’ve been patient, but I’m ready to finish what we started.”
I’m so stunned I don’t know what to do. I still can’t figure out how the hell she got into my apartment.
Tinsley grabs Tiffany’s clothes and throws them at Yolanda as they step into the hall. “She’ll need these.”
Yolanda catches them with one hand as she pushes the trespasser out the door.
“That’s it! She has to get out of the building,” I fume. “How the fuck did she get into my apartment?” I call the only person who has any access to my place.
“Do you know what time it is?” Mike rumbles into the phone.
“I know it’s fucking late. Tiffany Reynolds was in my bed when we got home tonight. What the fuck?”
“Yeah, how did that go? Did you get a ménage with Tinsley out of it? Tiffany is a freak in the sheets, man.”
“Did you give her access to my apartment?” I’m blind with rage.
“Sure. I knew you had fun with her, and she’s been pestering me about you, so with all the stress you’ve been under, I played a bit of matchmaker. Tell me it was fucking awesome.”
“You thought it would be funny for me to find a woman naked in my bedroom when you know I’m in love with Tinsley? How fucking immature are you?”
“You don’t need to be so hostile. I was only trying to help.”
“Mike, Fiona McPhee will be sending you notice. I’m calling in the loan for the building. I want you out, and I want you out of my life. I can’t fucking believe you thought this was acceptable. I have no patience for this kind of immature shit.”
I disconnect the call and throw my phone across the room. I hear a crack. I blanch. That’s my life on there.
“Feel better?” Tinsley asks.
“No! Can you believe he thought it would be funny for us to come home to Tiffany in our bed? I can’t even tell you what he thought he was doing.”
“You might have found it fun before you met me.”
“No way. I may have picked up women, but there was a reason I didn’t invite them into my apartment.”
Tinsley stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. “It’s kind of hot to see you so worked up.”
“She was naked on our sheets. I can’t sleep in those sheets.”
Tinsley looks at the bed, which is a mess of rumpled sheets and that nasty fur blanket thing. “I’m good with that. We can change the sheets.”
“I’m going to tell the housekeeper to burn these sheets,” I tell her as we yank them off.
Tinsley is laughing. I can’t believe it. She’s not nearly as upset as I am.
I pick up my phone, and the screen is broken, but I can still use it. I text Fiona.
Me: I need a restraining order for Tiffany Reynolds. She was in our apartment and in our bed when we got home tonight.
Fiona: No problem. Has she been arrested?
Me: Yolanda and Greg escorted her downstairs.
Fiona: I’ll follow up with Jim on the details in the morning. I hope you’re burning those sheets.
Me: Trust me, I am.
Me: I also want to call in the loan with Mike. He thought it would be funny to give Tiffany access to my apartment. I want him out, and I can absorb the debt.
Fiona: I’ll get that done for you on Monday. I’ll need to get a few bits of information from you for that.
Me: Thanks, Fee.
Fiona: No problem. Have a good night.
I look over at Tinsley. She’s made the bed with fresh sheets. “I guess I’ll need to get over to the Apple store tomorrow,” I tell her.
“I understand from Mason that we can call them and they’ll send someone here,” she replies with a grin.
“That’s a good idea. We have been on TV a lot recently.”
She nods. “Is Fiona going to help with Tiffany?”
“Yes, and I’m calling in the construction loan on the building.”
“What does that mean?”
“If Mike can’t come up with
