“Sordid?” Caroline looked simply delighted. “Are you ashamed of your groupie past?”
“I didn’t think Swire and Yallop would appreciate my early career choices. It’s not like I volunteered for Meals on Wheels.”
“Hmm, but you got over that and you told him who you were.”
Mena shook her head. She wasn’t ashamed of her past, not even now. She was ashamed about lying to Grip. “I didn’t tell him. I should have. He caught me in my lie. He worked it out for himself.”
“Knew he was sharp. He just got bad advice from other sharks and he’s too nice a guy. He’s perfect for you.”
Mena blinked at that, feeling a sting under her eyelids. “I fucked it up.”
Caroline’s hands flew up. “Nooo!”
They both looked at Amelia. She blew a bubble.
“Fifteen years ago, I was obsessed with Grip and I had skills getting what I wanted. I never expected to ever see him again or to want him so badly. I never expected him to want me as I am now.”
Caroline kicked off her other shoe. “This is so romantic.”
“It’s really not.” The despair that twisted in Mena’s stomach tasted sour in her mouth.
“You have a secret history, instant chemistry, and it’s forbidden and so delicious. Oh, the struggle until you give in to it.”
Yes, all of that, yes. Another excuse she’d found to lie.
“Details.” Caroline was enjoying this a bit too much.
“I tried to stop it at one time except—” Mena hung her head.
“He’s a sex god.”
“Yes, he is, and he hasn’t changed. He’s the same unassuming amazing musician and beautiful person I was obsessed with. I’m still obsessed with him, but I was lying to him and he figured it out and I thought I had it under control but I wrecked everything.”
“Oh my God, this is the greatest thing. How?” Caroline was definitely enjoying herself too much.
“Back then he drew on my hip and I had it converted into a tattoo.”
“He didn’t just draw on a million girls, did he? He remembered you.”
“Not at first. I wasn’t taking any chances and kept it covered with makeup. But we were in the hot tub and there was some vigorous towel drying and more sex and he must’ve noticed the makeup had gotten rubbed off while I was asleep. He thought he’d bruised me, so he looked closer.”
“Potentially bruising sex. I am in heaven.”
And Mena was in purgatory. Keeping her job only made her feel worse, as if it sanctioned her behavior. She had to make Caroline see what a loathsome person she was.
“What’s worse is that all the way back when he was drawing on my hip, he’d wanted more. He told me he remembered Philly as the one who got away and still I lied about who I was to him. I behaved unforgivably.”
“He was devastated.” Caroline clutched both hands to her heart. She was missing the point. Mena was going to have to hammer it home.
“I betrayed his trust and our history. I humiliated him. I made him distrust me in every way, including my financial advice. He was furious and he has every right to be.”
Caroline’s expression changed. She wasn’t the sleep-deprived executive on mat leave in need of entertainment anymore. “Are you worried what was once consensual might become vindictive?”
“No. Before he found out the truth, he volunteered to come in and talk to you about it. He wouldn’t hurt me back.” That wasn’t Grip. “I’m worried I’ve lost the only man I ever loved.”
Caroline bent forward and picked up her shoe, waved it Mena. “That’s not going to happen.” She put the shoe on. “You were right when you said you had a talent for getting what you wanted. You have always applied that to your work with clients. You need to think this through. Put a strategy together. If you’re genuinely sorry and if he’s the man you think he is, and you find the right way to apologize and mean it, he’ll forgive you.”
Mena frowned. Grip’s anger had been a current in his body, hot, sparking. She’d seen how the light in his eyes had gone dark.
“My job is making sure our client understands we know we messed up and we will make it right. Your only job right now is to go get the man you’re in love with and ask for another chance.”
She’d felt sick. She’d felt anger with herself. She’d been unable to sleep and unable to be still and now Mena felt tears queue in her eyes. Grip would never trust her. He would never want her again. And as unexpected as it was, she was in love with him.
“I don’t know how.” She looked at Amelia who opened her eyes, the deepest blue, and smiled.
“That’s probably wind,” Caroline said, scooping to rub the baby’s cheek and pick up the carrier. “Your suspension starts now. I’ll review your investment plans, which I know will be in good order, and ensure Grip is comfortable with our advice and continuing as an S&Y client.”
Caroline moved to the door and Mena came out from behind her desk, body wavering, dizzy with emotion. She would pay in career terms, but the cut was far less deep than she’d expected. She might bleed forever over losing Grip.
At the door, Caroline paused. “It would be all shades of wrong if I made getting Grip back a condition of your continued employment.” Amelia opened her eyes and looked at Mena in horror, her bottom lip trembling. Mena felt that horror up and down her spine. “But I’d be super pleased to see that level of tenacity from someone we’d still consider for partnership one day,” Caroline said.
Mena would’ve wailed in distress, but Amelia got there first.
