Bat and the Bone

no way for me to even begin to comprehend the kind of guilt you feel, but I think I can understand on some level. Mind if I tell you a story?" She nods against my chest. "When I was young, maybe ten, my father was posted in a fly-in-only town. It was a scary place to be.” The winters were insanely long, and there was only one small grocery store. It was a dark place where assistance and resources were limited. I didn’t feel the effects of that, but I saw it in those around me, and it made me ache that I couldn’t do something to help those who needed it. “There were barely any other kids, and we were cattle among wolf shifters. Tensions ran high. But there was this one family that lived on the edge of town. They had a boy about my age and my little sister, and I played with him.”

Even now, I regret not noticing the signs more clearly. I was so naïve, and I let my need for a friend cloud my understanding of what my friend was going through.

“He was quiet and kind, but I knew something wasn't right. It turns out he was being neglected at home. I found out years later, but I always felt like I could have done more for him. Because I had known something was off. I regret not stepping in to help him more. But the fact of the matter is, I was a kid. I didn't understand just what was off about his home life. I didn't have the words of the life experience. It's the same thing for you. You were sixteen when all this happened. You were old enough to understand, but you were too young to have the words and the maturity to fully process what it all meant. You also had to cope with the fact that, for a full decade and a half, your mother was good to you. You couldn't have spoken up, Mila. You didn't know what was going on. And now, as an adult, you can't step in and be the one taking the hits for the things she does. That would be like blaming a victim for getting killed. You can't live with the pressure of this. It will destroy you. I made the assumption that you should be on this mission with me before I knew you were her daughter. Now, I know that you're the expert on Sveta, but if this is too hard for you to witness, that's okay. You can still be helpful at a distance. If you want, I'll bring you back to FUCNA. There's absolutely no shame in that. No one will judge you."

"But I will. I was completely powerless the last time. This time, I have the power and the knowledge to make a difference. I get what you're trying to say, but I have to fix it, T. I have to. I don't know how to exist, how to keep going if I don't. I'm not saying it'll be easy or that I won't need another amazing hug again, but I want to do this. I need to do this."

I study her beautiful face, searching for something, anything that would change her mind.

There's nothing.

Mila is determined to see this through, and nothing I could say is going to change that. If this were any other agent, I would pull them. She's too close to it, but I understand her need for closure.

"Okay, so then let's get her back," I say, running my fingers through her long red strands. “Let's put her back where she belongs. But you need to know that, once this is all said and done, there is no way that I'm letting you carry this on your own. If you need a hug, to vent, something to punch, just ask. We're in this together."

Mila is a strong, capable, intelligent woman. She wouldn't be a FUC agent and a FUCNA instructor if she weren't. Maybe that's why she calls to something deep inside me.

I know that being this attracted to her, too invested in her well-being, is the last thing I should be doing, but I can't help myself.

11

Mila

The drive to Lake Murray doesn't take very long. T-Bone is flooring it. Or, at least, what is probably his version of putting the pedal to the metal. He is going all of ten kilometers over the speed limit.

I have to admit that being in his arms was one of the most comforting places I have ever been. It's not just that he smells fantastic or that his huge muscular arms made me feel safe. It's that he has so much empathy. It's kind of the last thing I expected from a big hulking dude. He's nothing like a bull; he's more like a gentle giant.

My hand is tucked in his on the center console, his thumb drawing circles across mine. I don't want to think about just how right it feels to get any sort of affection for T-Bone.

Not because he isn't my type at all.

Not even because he is an agent from another agency.

But because I shouldn't be entertaining any sort of happy thoughts. I don't deserve them, for one. But mostly, it's not the time to be having soft, gushy feelings about a man.

Not while I'm on a mission.

I'm probably getting confused because it's the first time I've let myself be vulnerable in a very long time. If ever. There is no way I am falling for T-Bone in these insane circumstances.

I keep my eyes on the changing scenery, trying to focus my attention there. The small dirt paths of Lake Murray have been paved, no doubt a sign that this area has become more popular as a vacation spot. My parents loved it so much here; they almost bought this particular property in my first year of high school. It was only a year before my mother was caught.

In the mid-morning