Tears welled in Holly’s eyes. She wanted to say something, anything that might ease his pain, but she knew there was nothing.
“I bounced around from house to house for a while,” he said. “I probably could’ve done that for longer, but I couldn’t stand living with my friends’ families. I hated seeing my childhood friends with their parents. I know that’s horrible, but it’s the truth. I hated never having my own bed, my own room. I hated being a freeloader. I hated taking things from others with no way to give anything back.”
“You were only a child,” Holly whispered.
“I got my overdeveloped sense of pride from my father.” He laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. “When I was thirteen, I found someone willing to rent a room to me if I could pay my way.”
“Thirteen?” Holly’s mouth fell open. “Who would rent a room to a thirteen-year-old?”
“The only person in town who treated me like a human,” he said. “His name was Brecker. I’m still not sure if that was his first name or his last name. He found me camping near Riverrun Creek and made me a deal. He said if I could scrape up the money doing honest work, then he’d let me have the room. That’s when I started doing odd jobs for people. No one wanted to say no to me. They always overpaid me.”
“How long did you live there?”
“Four years,” he said. “Brecker was the one who first taught me how to fight. I developed a nasty temper.”
“Who could blame you?” Holly shrugged.
Loch flashed her a cold, steely smile. “I hated it when people said that. No matter how many shitty things I did as a kid, people made excuses for me. I was the official orphan of Silver Spruce. No one wanted to yell at me. No one wanted to punish me. Everyone thought I’d suffered enough. I started testing people. I did every awful thing I could think of, daring someone to say something to me. No one ever did.”
“Even now?”
“Oh, people hate me now.” Loch laughed. “Especially Johnny.”
“What happened between you two?” Holly asked. “He told me you used to be close.”
“Johnny and I bonded when we lived here as kids. We weren’t the only ones to lose family members, but we were cut from the same cloth. We had an edge to us. A bite.”
Holly knew exactly what Loch was talking about. Johnny still had that bite to him. It was one of the things she loved about him.
“Close family friends took him in,” Loch went on. “He wasn’t any happier than I was, but he adjusted better, though you wouldn’t think it by the way he talks about himself. He was better off than I ever was.”
“Did you ever return to live with Pearl?” Holly asked.
“Occasionally.” Loch nodded. “Though, never for long. I think my longest stint was two weeks.”
“Why didn’t you stay longer? I know Pearl would’ve welcomed you.”
“You’re right.” Loch nodded. “She welcomed me with open arms whenever I came back and never held it against me when I left. I couldn’t stand being here too long because…because…” His voice went soft and wobbly.
Holly tightened her grip on his hand.
“It was too hard to be treated gently, to be shown affection,” he explained. “Every kind word from Pearl’s mouth only made me more aware of my loss.”
“I’m so sorry. I know I keep saying that, but I don’t—” A sob sliced through her words. She rested her head against his bare shoulder. One tear rolled off her cheek and plopped onto his skin.
Loch stepped closer, shifting so that Holly’s shoulder blade pressed against his chest. He moved one hand from the rail and wrapped it around her back.
Holly let her head slide from his shoulder to the crook of his neck.
“Don’t cry for me,” Loch said. “I’d rather see you smile instead.”
“I don’t think I can manage that just now.” Holly sniffed. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like the bad guy in this shitstorm of a story.”
“You never did,” Loch assured her. “Though, you did make me feel like a proper asshole on occasion.”
Holly laughed despite herself. “Were you being a proper asshole in those situations?”
“Most definitely.” Loch nodded, eliciting another laugh from Holly. “That’s the smile I’m looking for.”
Holly turned to look at him just as he took her chin in his hand. They were so close, their noses nearly touched. She looked into his eyes, shocked to see such tenderness glittering within them.
She wasn’t sure who moved first, but when their lips touched for the first time, she felt the whole world fall away. She brought her hand up to his cheek, holding him close to her. Her heartbeat fell into sync with his.
When she had first seen him in town, outside of The Bear’s Bane, her attraction to him was instant. It was what she had learned about him after that made her question things. Even now, a tiny part of her didn’t fully know where he stood.
When they broke apart, she didn’t open her eyes at first.
“Should I not have done that?” Loch laughed nervously.
“I thought I was the one who did it,” Holly admitted. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. When she looked into his eyes, she didn’t feel that overwhelming sense of trust she felt when she looked at the others. What she did feel was an overwhelming sense of attraction. The desire to kiss him again, to run her hands over every inch of him, took her breath away.
“I’m glad you did.” He smiled.
When Holly didn’t say anything, Loch pulled away just enough to
