“I’m sorry I’ve been so indecisive.” She groaned. It’s not fair to keep you all in suspense like this.”
“One or all of us could father a child with you, and there would be nothing wrong with that,” Vincent assured her. “No one gets to judge you for that.”
“I wish so much that someone like you had raised me.” As the words left her mouth, she hoped he didn’t misunderstand her feelings for him. “I was taught from an early age that strength and kindness couldn’t coexist, but I look at you and…”
“Love and kindness are close cousins.” Vincent’s smile was warm. “And love is the strongest force on this Earth.”
“No, it’s not.” She turned away. “Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s a lovely sentiment. But, I’ve spent my entire life around the most powerful men in the world. Fear… fear is so much stronger than love. It’s what I used to manipulate my father.”
“Are you having second thoughts about what we’re doing out here?” He leaned closer.
“I know I was forcing him to do the right thing.” She shook her head, looking away. “I hate myself for being like him. It’s like he was born missing some crucial parts of his psyche.”
“I think that’s your fear talking.” He rubbed her arm. “Your fear doesn’t control you anymore.”
“What if I’m not capable of loving someone.” She looked up with wide restless eyes.
“Hey.” He closed his arms around her, and she listened to his heart beat against the side of her face as she pressed her cheek to his chest. “In time, you will come to see that is not true. I promise you.”
The next day, the four of them spent the day finding trees that were in good positions to be cut down and used to build on the second story. It was strenuous, back-breaking work, but with all of them working together, they managed to get a decent amount of wood to use without thinning out the forest too much.
In the afternoon, the boys bathed, and Jillian opted to wait until they were all done before she took her turn. Now she had her backpack in which she had packed tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner. She would need to learn how to make soap and other household items from home.
Washed and shaved, she returned her razor to her backpack, seeing the thumb drive rolling around the bottom of the bag. It was encased in its waterproof capsule, but it still seemed irresponsible to leave it there.
She could bury it, but the thought of needing it and not being able to find it was too scary to consider. She could keep it in the cellar, somewhere. But what if there was a fire or something? She needed to think of a place to hide it away where it would never get lost, damaged, or stolen.
Separating a lock of hair from the right side of the nape of her neck, she started braiding it. About two inches down, she placed the thumb drive between the three sections of hair and incorporated it into the braid. Pulling on her swishy hippy dress from a music festival she attended the previous Summer. Kneeling beside the creek, she used the glassy water as a mirror as she swept her long blond waves up into a messy bun so that only the small braid at the bottom hung down.
Vincent’s shirtless reflection appeared beside hers, and she smiled, pivoting as she stood up to face him. His eyes moved over her skin, and he ran his fingers down the length of her braid.
The thin crevices dividing his abs made her wonder if what it would feel like to be naked against him. The man looked like something from the cover of a magazine, except for the scarification tattoos that covered his torso.
“I thought these marks were only on your arms.” She smirked.
He didn’t speak as his gaze trailed down the length of her body.
The tips of her fingers couldn’t resist running over the raised pink lines. Her palms strayed over his sinuous pectoral muscles, lightly grazing his skin. Bending his head, he touched his lips to her cheek and waited, gauging her response before pressing them to the supple corner of her mouth. His beard brushing against her face teased her senses, and any previous hesitation she felt about kissing a bearded man was forgotten. Her hands moved from his chest, winding their way around the nape of his neck.
She wet her bottom lip and touched it against his. He lunged forward, taking her face in his hands, and she opened her mouth, granting him entrance as his tongue swept over hers like high tide. He reached down, cupping her backside, and her depths quaked against him. She pulled back from the kiss as she backed against the smooth trunk of an aspen tree.
There was no doubt, with the throbbing in her chest, what her body wanted. She searched her mind and couldn’t imagine a better father for her future children. Her heart was the only thing she couldn’t help but question. Every day spent with him; she found her soul more entangled with his, but her feelings for Conner made her hesitate.
“Tell me what you’re thinking right now.” His eyes burned into her slowly, and she distanced herself from the question, studying the details of his eyes. Gold and emerald shards were scattered through the amber irises, like shattered stained glass. His pupils dilated as he waited for her response.
“I’m thinking about having a baby with you.” Her breath heaved in her chest as she slipped off one strap and then the other, letting the top of her dress fall, clinging to her hips.
THE FINAL CHAPTER
The cool air gusted softly
