After about an hour I got back to the farm and helped Elliot with the dogs and chickens, paying special attention that I latched the gates properly. I stayed late that day to finish wiping out and rearranging the kitchen cabinets. Dad has a lot of canning jars, full of every kind of fruit and vegetable I’ve ever heard of and some I have not. There were blackberries, Marion berries, peaches, pears, tomatoes, squash, green beans, corn, salsa, pickles, and garlic. Whatever quince is, it is pretty. Besides that, he had some dented cans I’m assuming he bought by the case and a few canisters of things like noodles, flour, and sugar. It looks like he has had a mouse or two, but no possum. It creeped me out a bit, but maybe cleaning the place up will make them go away.
Before I left, I went over to the small TV Dad kept on a bookshelf a few feet from his recliner. The top shelves held DVD’s, probably a hundred or so- Westerns, Sci-fi, a Nova series, and various popular movies. The shelf under the TV was filled with VHS tapes. There were cartoons, sing-a-longs, and some Christmas shows. There was a copy of Prancer, the movie about a little girl named Virginia who believes in Santa Clause. I know it’s sappy, but that was one of my favorite movies growing up. I guess Dad held onto it, maybe all of these tapes, for me. I have started to feel closer to him, spending all my time on the farm, but it hit me all of a sudden how much of his life I have missed out on. I mean, an entire technological advancement, VHS to DVD, took place during the years when I could count the times I had seen him on my fingers and toes and still have digits left over. I wish I had somebody to watch these tapes with. Maybe someday.
When I got back to Liv’s, I tried to stay up and work on an assignment from my boss that was due on Friday, but I zonked out after a half hour.
Last Wednesday
I managed to get out to the farm early, so I didn't feel bad about leaving at 2:00. I remembered Sheila saying Dad used the library in Emmett for Wi-Fi, so I went there to get my work done. They were really nice. An older lady named June and a woman about my age, Jodie, got me all set up on a desktop. It was easier to do the updates on my laptop and see the changes on the desktop. They were only open until 6:00, but I got a lot done. Jodie is cute. Too bad she's straight. I know I shouldn't because she is a user and manipulator, but I miss Ton-Ton. I miss being in a couple, having someone to go home to.
Last Thursday
About the same as Wednesday. There was a kids’ program at the library. They were adorable, getting all excited about arts and crafts. I remember doing those at my after school program. I think my mom still has this thing I made her. I took a little book and covered it in gold paint and glitter which glued all the pages and cover together. Then I wrote, “You Are #1 in My Book, Mom” as the title in black paint. I am exhausted but almost finished with the coding changes that Vincent sent me.
Last Friday
After I finished the assignment and got back to Liv’s, I made the mistake of telling her that I was feeling a little lonely, so she wanted to drag me off to a couple of bars and would not take no for an answer. First we went to a gay bar, The Balcony. Liv kept pointing out cute and not so cute girls to me. There were a lot of straight girls there, bumping and grinding on each other. Normally, I find that kind of sad and cute, but in the state of mind I’ve been in, it just made me want to puke. It was nice to hang out with Liv, but, mercifully, we left after an hour and went to a bar called Humpin’ Hannah’s, which I did not hold out a lot of hope for. But we had a good time. We sat upstairs and watched all sorts of people walk past us on the sidewalk outside, then Nate joined us, and we went down to the dance floor for a few songs. Nate is growing on me. I mean, a lot of people change for their partner, and Liv is changing. I just don’t want her to lose herself being his girlfriend, wife, co-owners of a house, baby-mama, or whatever they become. And I swear, if they get a pug, I will be gone the next day and take Liv with me. She keeps trying to get me to go get a tattoo with her. Uh, nope.
Last Saturday
So, after getting home at 3 a.m., we had the great idea to get up early and go skiing. Nate is a freak for skiing, and Liv is getting to be, so I agreed to tag along. I have only skied a few times in my life: a couple when I was a little kid, a couple when Mom and I came back to my grandparents for Christmas break, and once at the Summit at Snoqualmie. The last time, I managed to get off the kiddie slope and ski one of the regular hills. I figured I could do that again.
We sang along with the Black Eyed Peas and chatted nonstop along the twisty-turny road up to Bogus Basin. Traffic was not too bad that early. Liv offered to rent me some skis, but I really need to
