“Oh, how are they?” Holly said sweetly. “Those poor things.”
“They're good,” Luke assured her. “And although they don't know anything yet, they've promised to send word if they learn something helpful.”
“That's my boys,” Holly said with a smile.
“Jerry mentioned a parchment that was sent to the Virtues; instructing them to attack Azrael by Jerry's command,” Odin said. “Jerry said it didn't come from him, but Remiel wasn't able to track the sender.”
“A parchment?” Michael asked. “So, either a powerful angel is working behind Jerry's back, or a god outside of the Pantheon was able to sneak into Heaven without leaving any trace of himself behind.”
“The latter is unlikely,” Luke murmured. “It must be an archangel.”
Michael looked uncomfortable.
“Just like the last time,” Azrael growled. “And just like the last time, I shall obliterate him.”
“Or her, dear,” Holly said. “There are female angels. You musn't be sexist.”
“Yes, Mom,” Azrael said dutifully. “I shall obliterate him or her.”
“Better,” Holly the Holy Spirit smiled proudly at her son.
Chapter Eighteen
Cid had returned to Hell instead of joining us at Pride Palace, but only because Luke was expecting Remiel to send an invitation there. Sure enough, it came within the hour, and Cid traced back to Pride Palace to hand Lucifer an envelope sealed with a gold wax emblem of angelic script. The script was a single symbol that looked similar to the one on Azrael's and Michael's cheeks. All angels had their names set into their skin somewhere; usually on their face. It looked as if they also used those symbols to seal their letters.
“You've got mail,” Cid said.
“Thanks.” Luke cracked open the seal. He perused the letter and chuckled. “He's such an ass.”
Luke handed the letter to Cid, and the demon looked it over.
“He summoned you?” Cid burst out laughing. “Remy has always been a little dense, but this takes the angel cake.”
Luke took the letter back and pulled a pen out of his coat pocket. He wrote across the paper in big letters; Fuck you. Then he folded it up, put it back in its envelope, and handed it to Cid once more. Cid blew over the wax and remelted it with his demon breath then placed it on the table for Luke to set his signet ring in. When Luke removed his hand, the emblem in the wax had changed to another name in angelic script; I assumed it was Lucifer's. Cid scooped up the resealed letter and headed out.
“I'll make sure Jerry gets this himself, Boss,” Cid called back over his shoulder.
“He may punish Remiel,” Michael murmured.
“Perhaps,” Luke agreed. “But Jerry has ever been an idiot when it comes to knowing his own people. Since it seems as if he isn't the one behind this, I'm doing him a favor and pointing out a problem.”
Michael frowned deeper but didn't say anything.
It only took a few minutes for Lucifer's “pointing” to reach Jerry. Holly's cell phone chimed, and she pulled it out of her Valentino handbag in surprise. Her eyes widened further when she read her text.
“It's Jerry,” Holly said. “He says that he wants you to know that he didn't word the letter himself, and it was intended to be a respectful invitation.”
Luke laughed his ass off.
“Lucifer!” Holly hissed.
“It's funny,” Luke huffed.
“Try to behave,” Holly chided.
“Sweetheart,” Luke said gently. “That poopy pants called our son and myself some horrible names. He may have intended for it to be respectful, but he didn't want it to be.”
“What names?” Holly went still.
“The B word,” Satan whispered.
“Jerry called Az a bitch?” Trevor asked in confusion.
“No; the other B word. He called him a bastard,” Cid whispered.
“What?” Holly roared.
“And he called me a no good, son of a...” Luke dropped his voice to a whisper, “whore.”
“What?!” Holly stood up and started typing furiously on her phone. “That is not acceptable.”
“Holly.” Luke got up too; his expression worried. “Don't do anything rash. I need to speak to him and it would be best if I could do so civilly.”
“Fuck him!” Holly shouted. “That filthy piece of Atlantean shit!”
We all went silent and stared at Holly with widening eyes.
“No one calls my husband and son such things,” Holly went on. “You are ten times the man he is.”
“Holly,” Luke said gently as he took her phone. “He's called me far worse; they're just words. The loser takes comfort in cursing the winner; that is simply the way of things.”
“It doesn't bother me, Mom,” Azrael added. “'Bastard' is a term that is more insulting to humans than Atlanteans. We don't care whether a child is born within wedlock or not.”
“But still.” Holly pouted. “I don't like it.”
“Yell at him later,” Luke suggested as he erased Holly's text. “After we find out who's behind these attacks.”
“Okay.” Holly deflated. “You're right. What should I text him now?”
“I got it, my love,” Luke said as he texted Jerry. “I'm telling him to head into the Human Realm, as I will be doing, and I will call him from your phone.”
“I'm going with you,” Holly said.
“Of course you are.” Luke hugged her. “We'll make a day of it. So, where would you like to go for lunch?”
“Oh.” She brightened. “Let's go to that place in Tuscany.”
“The one near the vineyard?” Luke asked.
“Yes; I love their cacio e pepe.”
“And I love watching you eat it,” Satan teased his wife as they headed out of the dining hall.
“Dad?” Azrael called after them.
“We'll be back after lunch, Son,” Luke said. “Why don't you get something to eat yourself?” He stopped and pointed at Azrael. “But don't leave the territory.”
Azrael grimaced as he fell back into his chair.
“Sounds like Death
