Chapter Fifty
I met many Egyptian gods at my wedding, and I got to catch up with those I already knew; like the Spirits of the Corn who lived close to Re's palace, and Ma'at, Anubis' sister. Some of the Egyptian gods welcomed me warmly; others not so much. But all of them were respectful and congratulated Re and me.
There were performances by several gods and goddesses; Isis even entertained us with magical illusions she cast with her colorful wings. Dinner was an elaborate feast set out on long tables on the left side of the ballroom. Traditional Egyptian food was served; heavy on the meat dishes for me and my lions. We ended the meal with an enormous, five-tiered cake decorated with Egyptian columns and lotus blossoms.
When it came time to cut the cake, I held back. I knew Re wouldn't appreciate me mashing frosting all over his face so I very nicely placed his bite in his mouth. And then the bastard smeared his piece all over me! I chased him around the cake table after that—a handful of cake held menacingly aloft—and our guests laughed their asses off and took pictures. When I finally caught my groom and covered him in frosting and crumbs, they laughed harder. Then we went to the bathroom together and helped each other rinse off as we giggled like children.
After we returned to our party with cake-free faces, I tossed my bouquet to a massive crowd of vicious goddesses who slammed each other with magic to get at the flowers. Ma'at was the winner, and she pumped the battered bouquet into the air like a trophy.
The garter belt toss wasn't nearly as bad; the gods were too busy trying to not check out my stocking-clad legs while Re slipped the garter from me. Re had been known to be a generous lover; not just to his women but to other men; whom he'd share his lovers with. But that had ended as soon as we fell in love. Now, Re was generous only where my other lovers were concerned; all other men were firmly set across a deadly border from us. If they crossed it, they could wind up incinerated. And this fiery attitude had only grown hotter after our exchange of vows.
Harmless jokes about our wedding night were met with narrow-eyed glares from my new husband and compliments on his new bride were shot down viciously. The Sun God was giving off so much heat at any hint of male attention sent my way that the single gods had to be peer-pressured by the single goddesses into gathering together for the garter toss. Except for the lions and wolves, that is. The Intare and Froekn knew better than to be afraid of Re. I'd kick his shiny ass if he ever hurt one of them.
“You had better tell them it's okay to catch that thing,” I whispered to Re as he stood with the garter in his hand.
“Why?” Re looked baffled.
I got up and smiled at the nervous gathering of men before I said to Re through my teeth, “Because they're all afraid that you're going to burn their butts for wanting my garter.”
Re blinked. “Have I been that bad?”
“Worse,” I said and then chuckled. “What's gotten into you?”
“Marriage, I suppose,” Re said. “You'll have to put up with a possessive husband, Lala; I'm terribly sorry. I'll try to tone it down, but it's been a long time since I've been a married man.”
“I know,” I said gently. “And they know it too. They're just having fun; be gentle with them.”
“If I must.” Re sighed and turned to face the gods. “My apologies for my behavior tonight, gentlemen. I've become a husband again for the first time in too many years to count and it's awakened some violent instincts in me. Please don't let that sway you from participating. I have a pair of diamond cufflinks here for the winner.”
The gods cheered and started jostling for a good position. Re looked back at me and winked.
“Diamond cufflinks?” I asked. “Was there a prize for catching the bouquet?”
“A diamond pendant,” Re said as if he thought I'd known.
“No wonder Ma'at blasted Besa like that,” I muttered.
Once Re had given the okay, it was nearly a bloodbath in the ballroom. I don't think it was the cuff links that spurred them on either; it was simply the sport of it. As soon as Re had offered a prize beyond a scrap of silk and lace, the gods had let their competitive natures out. The married men and goddesses standing around hooted and called out encouragement as the single men fought to claim the garter.
In the end, it was Aidan who clutched the garter and shot out of the rolling mass of bodies. He held it up victoriously and circled back to Re as the other men slapped each other on the backs in commiseration and laughed over black eyes and bleeding lips. I shook my head in wonder.
Aidan and Ma'at strode up to Re and claimed their prizes before posing for pictures with each other. Behind them were the battered gods and goddesses who hadn't won; all smiling for the camera. It was going to be quite a wedding album.
When the traditions had been seen to, everyone gathered around the tracing chamber to see us off. Re and I each carried a suitcase as we clasped our free hands together. He had to lead the trace because our honeymoon destination was a surprise for me.
I bid my husbands, boyfriend, and my daughter goodbye last.
“I wanna go too,” Lesya whined.
“Not this time, little lioness,” I said to her. “This trip is only for Uncle Re and me.”
“But, Mommy,” Lesya whined.
I cut her off with a
