“I will find him,” Fenrir promised as he wiped our mingled tears from my face. “He's my son, and I hold his magic. He can't hide from me; not in any form.”
“Bring him back to me,” I whispered and then shivered violently. “Please.”
I'd expended a lot of energy and a lot of emotion very quickly. And I was wearing hardly anything at all. I was too tired to call upon the fire inside me. I just stood there and dealt with the cold. But Fenrir felt it and gathered me to his warm chest.
“Bring some blankets,” Fenrir ordered. Then to me, he said, “I've got you, my sweet, brave girl. Don't you worry about anything; I will take care of you in my son's stead.”
Fenrir lifted me and took me to his bed. He laid me down beside Emma just as one of the Froekn brought in a stack of blankets. Emma tucked me in—laying blanket after blanket over my shivering body—and Fenrir crawled in on my other side. They held me between them like parents comforting a child who'd had a nightmare.
“She needs to come home with us,” Azrael said as he stepped forward.
“She needs to be vith Pack.” Kirill stopped Az with a hand on his arm. “Zey are her only link to Trevor now.”
“Do you mind if we stay as well, Fenrir?” Odin asked. “I can't leave her.”
“Bring some pallets in for our friends,” Fenrir said to the Froekn.
It looked as if we'd be having a slumber party. Except my wolf was missing, and I was empty inside. It felt more like a funeral than a celebration. I began to cry again; softly into the blankets.
“Shh now, sweetheart,” Fenrir said. “I feel him already. I know where our boy is. He's fine; just going for a run. Working things out the way wolves do. He'll be back in the morning; you'll see. Sleep now.”
And then Fenrir began to sing. Rich and deep; his voice was like a fire on a cold night. It warmed and sparked; giving solace and safety. It was so beautiful—the Great Wolf's lullaby—but I wasn't able to listen to all of it. There must have been magic in the words. I fell asleep before he reached the third line.
Chapter Thirty
I woke up to murmuring voices. It was like a bad dream; pieces of the day before were returning, but I couldn't believe those horrors had actually happened to me, or that I had reacted in such a weak, imbecilic way. Who was that person? Not I; not the Godhunter.
I growled as I made my way out of the cocoon of blankets and rolled out of Fenrir's bed. Had I really come here like an insane person and asked Fenrir to hurt me? Did he really hold me all night like a child? I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I thought I'd come so far; that I was strong enough to face anything. I held the nine-pointed star in my chest and had stopped the end of the world—a couple times. I was a powerful warrior, and no man could lay me low like that; with lies and kisses. Not anymore.
Right after that horrible thing with Katila happened—I couldn't label it yet—I knew I was going to be the one to hold it together. It was just sex; just my body. Katila could never touch me; never have the part of me I gave the men I loved. This was nothing; just another hit that I would roll with. I told myself I would lead Trevor through the healing, and I knew that the wolf inside me would guide me in it. She always told me what Trevor needed. I was going to be his rock and bring him back as I had Kirill.
But then Trevor had snarled at me and everything went to shit. Yes; it was time for some real cursing. It went to shit. I broke under that harsh glare; beneath a beloved stare turned cruel. I know now that it was Trevor's reaction to my dragon half-form, but, at the time, it had seemed so damning. So final.
I hated that I'd been weak when Trevor needed me. That instead of talking him down, I'd encouraged him to break. I welcomed his claws instead of showing him that he was hurting me. I demanded blood, but from the wrong source. I should have focused our anger out toward Katila, but I brought it inward instead. I took Trevor over the edge with me. Like a drowning woman; I panicked and dragged him into the abyss.
I cried out in fear and anger. Would we be able to get past this? In desperation, I reached down our link again; looking for Trevor... and I felt something.
I stumbled in shock. I reached again. Trevor was there! He was back. But there was something different about him. His energy was off; he felt more... savage. He was...
“He's still a wolf,” Fenrir said as he came into the bedroom. “I've found Trevor, but he's not in control yet.”
“Okay,” I said calmly.
I could deal with this. Today I would be the woman that I should have been the day before. I'd do whatever had to be done to get my wolf back.
“Tell me where he is; I'll go and talk him back into his human form,” I said.
“You don't understand,” Fenrir said grimly. “He is in his
