I don’t want to die for her or let her go or try to convince myself that she belongs with someone else. I never did. The soul-crushing truth is that I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want her by my side and in my bed and in my life forever. I still don’t believe that God will let me have her, but until he pries her out of my cold, dead hands, I’m going to keep fighting.
Rain pushes the orange fabric over my shoulders, and I shrug it off like a skin I’ve outgrown. Her fingernails graze my sides as she kisses my tattoos, lingering over the wilted pink lily on my ribs. My fist grips her hair as her fingertips trace the edge of my government-issued boxers. Rain slides them down slowly as she sinks to her knees. I can feel my heartbeat in my cock as it falls forward, seeking her warmth. As badly as I want to yank her back up and fuck her properly, the image of her red lips wrapped around my dick is one I simply can’t go to my grave without seeing.
Rain’s black lashes fan out across her flushed cheeks as she licks me from base to tip, swirling her tongue around my swollen, throbbing head. My chest aches as she takes me into her mouth, as I watch her crimson lips slide over my cock and her cheeks hollow as she sucks me off, but when she opens her big blue eyes and looks up at me, the sensation is more intense than I ever fucking imagined.
This is her love for me. This is her selflessness. This is her risking her life to get to me, just to spend what little time we have left trying to make me feel good.
“Come here,” I whisper, cupping her face and wiping the mascara from under her eyes with my thumbs.
Rain doesn’t break eye contact as she slides her lips down my length one last time, and I’m overwhelmed with the need to feel her everywhere. I pull her to her feet and make quick work of the buttons on her blouse as I nip and suck at the overheated skin beneath her ear.
“We don’t have much time left, and I want to spend it inside you,” I growl, feeling a ripple of goose bumps pebble under my lips.
Yanking her tight skirt up over her full hips, I palm her perfect, round ass as I kiss my way down to her bra. Sucking one straining nipple through the black lacy fabric, I slide my hand between her legs and tease her slit over her panties. They’re already soaked through. My mouth waters. I know we don’t have much time left, but I need to lick her. I need to taste her.
If this is my last meal, I’m gonna fucking savor it.
Dropping to my knees, I trace the edge of Rain’s silky panties with my finger before sliding them to one side. I don’t take my time, and I don’t ease her in. I run my tongue along her soft, slippery flesh and stifle a moan as the flavor coats my tongue.
Fucking perfect.
Rain hisses and grabs my hair as I suck and lick and devour her pussy, alternating between pulling me closer and trying to push me away.
“Wes,” she whispers, her voice needy and breathless. “Please. I need you.”
Those words are my undoing. I press her back against the one cinder-block wall that’s hidden from the hallway, pull her knee over my hip, and fill her so deep and so hard that she has to bite my lip to keep from moaning.
“Fuck,” I snarl, filling her again.
She feels so fucking good, so warm and soft and right and mine, that for a minute, I wonder if I’m already dead.
Not even heaven could feel as good as this.
“I love you,” Rain whispers against my mouth.
The sadness in her shaky voice hits me like a fist to the heart.
I wrap my hand around her jaw and force her to look at me as I thrust into her again. “I love you more.”
It’s not a fucking question.
“If I can’t get you out of here …” Her words trail off with a gasp.
“That’s not your job. Do you hear me? You just stay safe.”
Rain closes her eyes, and I feel her chin buckle under my palm. “I can’t lose you, Wes.”
“Hey, look at me.”
Rain opens her tortured eyes and slays me with a single sentence. “We can’t lose you.”
We.
I gaze down the length of her beautiful torso, over her swollen, flushed-pink tits, and down to her still-flat belly. I realize I’m no longer fucking her.
I’m marveling at her.
“I took a test.” She swallows. “You were right.”
“Fuck. Rain …” I cup her face in my hand and kiss her again, not out of lust or loss or the elapsing of time, but out of pure, soul-crushing love.
When I fill her again, it’s because that’s the only way I can get closer to her. And when I feel her contract around me, when her breaths turn to whimpers and she whispers that she loves me again, I pour myself into her on a muffled cry.
I thought I wanted to be a good dad, like Doug.
But fuck that.
Good dads die for their families.
I’m gonna live for mine.
Rain
I stand in the center of Wes’s cell with my arms wrapped around his waist and my cheek pressed against his chest, waiting, counting his heartbeats until the next horrible thing happens.
Eighteen
