Steven’s eyes moving down my body, lingering on my lips, on my breasts, the pure lust in his expression driving me wild.
I tried to shove that image away, but I just kept seeing it play behind my eyelids over and over again.
5
Steven
All that night, I kept thinking about her at the bottom of the tub.
I don’t know why I reacted that way. When she didn’t respond to me, I just thought something bad was happening.
I had that feeling deep in my gut, and I reacted way more forcefully than I thought I ever would. I kicked down that door and saw her under the water and just lost it.
As soon as I pulled her up from under the water, I knew I made a mistake. But I couldn’t risk it, I couldn’t let her stay down there at the bottom of the tub and let her hurt herself. I was wrong, obviously, but the image of her under that water kept coming back to me over and over.
I slept like shit. I got up early, worked out, went for a run, made breakfast, and sat up on the roof deck drinking coffee while the sun rose up over the city. I let Colleen sleep in, figuring she could use the rest. But around ten, I came back inside and knocked on her door.
She didn’t answer at first, so I knocked again. I heard some movement inside, so I knew she was still in there and awake.
“If you don’t answer, I’m going to assume you’re trying to hurt yourself again,” I said. “Might break down the door.”
“Good,” she said, her voice muffled. “I hope you do.”
I laughed and unlocked the padlock. I left it dangling and turned the knob.
She was sitting in bed, the sheets pulled around her, with her knees up to her chest. She stared at me, her pretty eyes shining in the morning sun as it lazily rolled in through the window and wrapped itself around her skin. She seemed like she was glowing, and for a second I had the urge to walk over to her and slip into bed.
But I stayed in the doorway instead.
“Good morning,” I said.
She just narrowed her eyes at me and didn’t speak.
“We’re going for a ride,” I said. “Get up and get dressed.”
She tilted her head. “Where are you taking me?”
“To meet someone,” I said.
“Oh, another one of your mob friends?” she asked. “No thanks, that’s okay. I’ll stay here.”
“I’m not asking,” I said.
“You just want to parade me in front of a bunch of dangerous men as a threat,” she said.
“Dante isn’t going to hurt you,” I said, rubbing my face with my hand. “Just get up, all right?”
“No,” she said.
“Colleen. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” I stared at her, starting to feel frustrated. “Dante is a friend, okay? He’s on our side.”
“That’s not the problem.” She looked away and I could see her cheeks turning red. I tilted my head and stepped closer.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Just tell me.”
She took a breath and looked at me again, her cheeks bright red.
“I need new underwear,” she said. “I can’t keep wearing the same underwear every day.”
I stood there for a second and blinked in surprise.
“Shit,” I said. “I thought… shit. All right, I’ll get you some.”
“Thank you.” She stared down at the bedding, clearly embarrassed.”
“Look, go shower. I’ll come back with clean underwear, okay? When you get out, it’ll be on the bed.”
“Fine.” She turned her head, looked at the window.
“And we’ll get you more clothes tomorrow. More underwear, too.”
“Good.”
I lingered there for a second. I wanted to see her get up, make sure she got into the shower, but I didn’t wait. I figured she wouldn’t get up in front of me anyway. I left the room, shut the door, and locked it again. I stood there for a few minutes, waited until I heard the toilet flush, then hurried downstairs, out the front door, and over to my next door neighbor’s place. I knocked a few times until an old woman with deep wrinkles and light brown skin answered, her thin hair down to her shoulders, wearing a simple floral housedress.
“Mrs. Suarez,” I said. “I need a favor.”
“You’re gonna ask for more of Cindy’s clothes, aren’t you?” She gave me a frown. “You’re not a sicko, are you, Steven?”
“No, ma’am,” I said. “Just need underwear for my cousin. I’m sorry to do this, she’s really forgetful. I’m pretty embarrassed.”
Mrs. Suarez gave me a look then shook her head. “You’re lucky you’re a good man and take care of your block,” she said, turning away. “Otherwise, I’d assume you’re just a pervert.”
She disappeared inside and I let out a breath. Mrs. Suarez’s teenage daughter was the source of Colleen’s first round of clean clothes, but I’d neglected to ask for underwear like an idiot. I was going to have to get Colleen her own stuff, otherwise I was going to ruin my reputation in my own damn neighborhood.
Mrs. Suarez returned with a handful of underwear and shoved them into my arms. There were two old, fraying bras and three pairs of black panties, each of them big and cotton. One had bleach stains on it.
“There,” she said. “Best I can do without Cindy getting mad.”
“Thank you,” I said. “You’re a saint. You’re better than a saint.”
“Aye, get outta here, crazy,” she said, giving me a little smile.
I laughed and waved, then ran back to my place. I hurried inside, carried the underwear up to Colleen’s room, and unlocked her door. The shower was running as I came inside. I was tempted to check on her, since the bathroom door still hadn’t been fixed. It was hanging open and wood splinters were still on the tile floor.
I dropped the stack of underwear on the bed but lingered only for a second. She’d invite me into the shower sooner
