She gave me a look. “Come on.”
“It’s true,” I said. “There are a ton of ways to make money in this city. If all you want to do is rob some places and do some petty shit, there are plenty of little gangs that’ll take you. But if you want a real family, a real life, you join the Leone Family. It’s not an easy thing to join, but once you’re made, you’re made for life.”
“I don’t buy it,” she said.
“Just think about how good that felt at eight, then imagine how it would feel to a twenty-year-old guy with a shitty family life back home, no skills, and no ability to see the future. Getting that family…” I trailed off, remembering how it felt to join for the first time, back when Dante and I were made soldiers in Sergio’s crew. “It’s a real blessing.”
She was quiet the rest of the ride. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but she stared straight ahead, her hat in her hands. She spun it around absently and clicked the end a few times. I found a spot on my block, parked, and looked at her.
“Come on,” I said.
“Wait.” She looked out the window before turning to me, adjusting her body so her one leg curled underneath her. “What you said before, about family. Do you really think that’s true?”
“It’s true,” I said. “And I think that’s why you hate your uncle so much.”
She made a face. “He’s real family. It’s different.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Real family… you don’t choose that. It’s thrust on you, whether you like it or not. But your other family, the one you pick, that’s more important. You’re mad your father left that family, but you’re even more mad that they’re now turning on him. I can’t blame you for that.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t tell me how I feel.”
“Tell me I’m wrong then,” I said.
“You’re wrong.”
I shrugged. “Fine. Think what you want.”
She turned back, facing forward, arms over her chest again. She sat like that for a second before letting out a frustrated breath. I watched her carefully, eyes moving along her body, unable to help myself.
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” she said. “Not when I was a kid, and not now.”
“I know,” I said, leaning toward her. I reached out and brushed her hair from her shoulder and she frowned, eyes turned in my direction, but she didn’t flinch away. “But if you want a new family, a real family, I can give you that.”
“You want me to join your little gang?” she asked, surprise in her voice.
“Maybe not quite that far,” I said. “But when this is all through, there’s no reason you’ll have to leave.”
Her eyes went wide. “What, you want to keep me forever now?”
I tilted my head. “You’ve been such a good house guest.”
She laughed and I could hear the bitter confusion in her tone.
“I doubt that,” she said. “I don’t get you, Steven.”
“Good.” I smiled and pulled away. “Come on. I think it’s about to rain harder. Let’s get inside.”
I stepped out of the car and went around to her side. She looked at me through the window as I hesitated on the sidewalk, rain pelting my shoulders. But then she pushed open the door and got out. We hurried up the stoop and went into the house. I shut the door and locked it behind us.
12
Colleen
I felt filthy after taking Steven around the neighborhood and showing him every safe house and Club owned business I could spot. He sauntered into the kitchen and I stomped upstairs, not interested in talking to him any more than I had to. I went into my room, closed the door, and got into the shower.
It seemed like all I did was shower, but for some reason I kept feeling dirty around Steven. His words rang in my ears as I washed my face and hair, letting the soap and suds drip down my skin and pool at the bottom of the white tub.
He wanted to make me family.
I didn’t know what that meant or what he was implying. Maybe he wanted to keep me around as his little mistress, to use however he wanted, or maybe he was saying he wanted to marry me. Either way, I wasn’t interested in the bastard.
He could take his handsome smile, his expensive house, his perfect clothes, and shove them right up his ass.
Except I knew I was kidding myself. After I got out of the shower and toweled off, I wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at myself. I kept thinking about his tongue between my legs up on the roof deck. I kept thinking about the way he made me feel, like I was riding on a cloud, riding on heaven. His muscular body, his cocky smirk, his tongue and teeth and deft fingers, it all drove me insane, and I hated him for it.
I resented him for making me want him.
I got dressed, pulled on yoga pants, a sports bra, another clean tank top. I headed downstairs and was surprised to see him still dressed, sitting at the kitchen table in front of his laptop. He looked up at me and shut the lid.
“I have an errand to run,” he said.
“Got some club kids to kill?” I asked and immediately regretted it.
He winced. “No,” he said.
“Right. Sorry. That was uncalled for.”
He waved my apology off. “I’m leaving you here,” he said. “Alone, unsupervised. You can run away if you want.”
I stared at him, standing still on the threshold between the dining area and the kitchen. He looked back, head tilted, before coming around the table and stepping toward me. I moved away, pressing my back against the wall, and he stood in front of me, his eyes moving down my body in a slow wave.
“I don’t believe you,” I said.
“That’s fine.” He reached out and touched my hair,
