“I’m not,” I said.
He tilted his head. “Sounded like you were.”
“Steven, it’s just—”
“What did he want?” He took a step closer to me. His eyes narrowed and he leaned toward me.
“He wanted… he wants me to betray you.” The words tumbled from my mouth. “He said if I spy on you for him, then he’ll let my dad go.”
“Interesting,” he said and tilted his head to the side. “He wants you to be a spy.”
“I told him I wouldn’t,” I said and I felt like I was talking too fast. “I told him I wouldn’t do it, okay? I’m not on his side anymore. He’s done nothing but hurt us instead of reaching out and I just— I’m not on his side anymore, okay?”
He stared at me for a long moment. I shrank back, trembling, afraid. I didn’t know why I was so afraid, but I felt like Steven was measuring me, and he might find me lacking.
I didn’t betray him and I knew I wouldn’t. If he heard anything during that phone call, he’d know.
He nodded once then looked at the coffee and the paper bag.
“Got those from the bakery for you,” he said. “Coffee, black, two sugars. And a pastry.”
“Oh,” I said.
He swept past me and into the kitchen. I watched him get down a mug and pour the rest of the coffee into it. He sipped the stuff black and made a face then watched me.
“So, you’re not mad?” I asked.
“Should I be?” He frowned a little.
“No, it’s just—”
“If you want to betray me, Colleen, go ahead,” he said. “You can go running back to the Club. But you already know how they treat their own.”
I nodded and stared at the floor. “Yeah. I know.”
“Last night, when Simon got shot, I could’ve run. I wanted to run, did you know that?”
I looked back up and held my left elbow with my right hand.
“No,” I said.
“I wanted to get the fuck out of there. I wanted to survive, Colleen. But Simon was shot, and he’s my responsibility.” He took a few steps toward me, but that time I didn’t move back. “Davide was bad enough. I’ll beat myself up for Davide’s death for a long time. It wasn’t necessary, just a stupid, freak fucking mistake. But I’m not about to let any of my other guys down from here on out, not for some mistake, not for anything.”
“I hear you,” I said.
“The Club doesn’t operate like that. The Club kidnaps its former members. You want to be a part of that, go ahead.” He turned away and I could see how tense he was.
I took a few steps closer to him. “I don’t want that,” I said. “Steven, I’m not lying. I told him I wasn’t going to help.”
He hung his head for a moment then took a deep breath. He put his mug down and turned to me.
“All right,” he said. He took another deep breath and nodded. “Okay, I get it. I was pissed when I heard you talking, and I knew who it was on the other line. But I get it, you can’t ignore his calls.”
“He still has my dad.”
“Then we need to do something about that.” He pursed his lips then cocked his head. “You said you wouldn’t spy for him, but what if you did?”
I blinked then held my hands out, palms up. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“What if you did spy for him? Maybe you overheard something important. Like I had some important drug deal going down nearby, two nights from tonight, in an empty parking lot. Maybe you told him about it as a peace offering.”
I stared into his eyes for a long moment then slowly inclined my head and crossed my arms.
“I could do that,” I said. “Is that something you’d want?”
“I think so,” he said. “There’s a parking lot on twenty-third, a few blocks south of here. Tell him I’ll be there and make it convincing.”
I bit my lip hard enough for it to hurt. “I’m not sure he’ll believe me. I just told him to fuck off, more or less.”
“He’ll believe you.” Steven stepped forward, his body restless and muscular. “You’d do anything for your father, won’t you?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Then he’ll believe you. Tell him I’ll be there, and I promise you, little Colleen, I will be there.”
“But what about my father?”
“After that, we’ll go get him.”
I tightened my jaw and looked up into his eyes. “I don’t know,” I said.
“You have to trust me. I know I’ve made some mistakes, but this is going to work. All you need to do is convince him that you’re afraid. Can you be afraid, Colleen?”
He stepped close, so close. He touched my cheek with his right hand and his left pressed against my hip. I pushed my body against his and leaned my ear against his heart. I heard it thumping in his chest, slow and steady.
Of course it was slow and steady. That was Steven, never rattled.
“I can be afraid,” I said.
“Good.” He moved me back and kissed me. “Eat your food. Drink your coffee. If you need me to make you afraid, I will. But I think you can handle it.”
I nodded slowly. “Two nights from tonight.”
“That’s right.” He leaned forward, kissed my cheek. “Don’t let me down.”
“I won’t.”
He let me go and walked into the kitchen again. He picked up his mug, took a long sip, and headed down into the basement. I watched him go then turned away. I stared down at the paper bag and the coffee.
I reached forward and opened the bag.
It was a blueberry muffin. I smiled a little. I loved the muffins at the bakery, but I didn’t remember telling Steven that.
He just figured it out.
I took a bite and put the muffin back.
If he needed this, then I’d do it. At this point, I’d do anything he told me to. Because I saw him last night, I saw him risk his life
